There is a "Why" in All of Us-by Heidi McLaughlin

These past few months I’ve been teaching yung'ns how to blow Hubba Bubba bubbles. Firstly, how to chew the big wad of gum until it feels “just so” and ready for the blowing. Secondly, wrap it around your tongue so it’s firmly encased in your mouth and then gingerly blow air into said gum. But it hasn’t been that easy to explain and the results weren’t always that stellar. In fact, we finally resorted to watching live demonstrations on YouTube, printing off instructions from Google and then watching ourselves perform the awkwardness of these steps in the mirror. 

Why do I succumb to these senseless, time wasting and unproductive activities?  Because I love children and get a thrill out of watching people succeed at anything. I love laughter, zany conversations and the simple things in life that give me good stories and memories.  There are other “whys” in me. Why do I spend so much time and money going to writer and speaker conferences? Why am I such a ferocious reader and love to golf three to four times a week? Why do I mentor, prayer counselling, teach Bible studies and then for relaxation, watch foreign movies? Because that is how God has wired me and how I’ve found fulfillment and pleasure in life.  

Why do we do what we do?

The “why” is also a good way to get into a person’s heart and find out why they are they way they is. It’s a beautiful way to connect. For example: Last week while golfing with a woman I’ve never met, we have lovely conversations about what brought both of us to Kelowna at this time in our life.  At one point I started to say: “I love to have a full life and I don’t like being alone for long periods of time because….” Then my new friend finished it for me, “Because you don’t like the emptiness.”  Wow that response blew my mind.  After a few more golf shots, I finally had the courage to ask her, 

“Why do you know about emptiness?”

You can probably guess that for the next four holes our conversation got real, honest and even gritty. A few times I couldn’t even hit the ball because of the tears in my eyes. The “why” question opened her heart and her story, and at the end of the game I knew I made a new and authentic friend. 

It’s good to find answers to our personal “whys” and those honest and life-changing answers are found in Jesus Christ. Listen: “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.”(Ephesians 1:11 MSG).  So if life is confusing and you need answers, run to Jesus and ask Him.

• Why do I feel so anxious and tired all the time?
• Why do I get so defensive and takes things so personally?
• Why is my life out of balance?
• Why do I not love my husband the way I know I should?
• Why do I spend the way I do?

Certainly we can ask these questions to a friend or come up with our own assumptions. But our real answers will come from the One who created us and knows every detail of our lives. Jesus is the One who will give you the answers that can transform you and help you to live your very best life.

What is one question you need to ask Jesus?  Be brave, and ask Him today.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends. 

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

THE POWER OF KINDNESS-by Heidi McLaughlin

The word “kindness” may sound limpid, but I believe it is the strongest expression of love. If you notice a decline in human kindness, you’re not alone.  I was saddened and shocked by research done by the University of Michigan which states: “After the year 2000, College kids today are about forty percent lower in empathy (kindness) than their counterparts of twenty or thirty years ago.”  That was the beginning of the media age and kids grew up with access to games that eventually numb people to the pain of others.  When we become isolated and selfish, we don’t make time to be kind.

I am so grateful for people who still live their lives the way the Jesus taught us in the Bible which says: “…you should practice tender-hearted mercy and kindness to others” (Colossians 3:12 TLB). It takes unselfishness and time to stop our busy lives and make a phone call, deliver a meal, drop off a flower, or invite someone out for dinner.

It’s been five months since the death of my second husband and I am still receiving tender-hearted kindness from many people.  At the end of the third month I hit a wall and needed emotional and physical support.  When I prayed and asked God for help He used kind people to be His hands and feet to help me with every aspect of my life. Throughout my grieving journey, kind people have been my greatest gift. Those who took me in when I could not function on my own. Those who came to stay in my home and support me with meals and daily functions. Those who checked in with me every day to make sure I was O.K. Even the simple things like a card in the mail or in my Inbox, or joining me on a walk or a cup of tea.  Those people who made the time to extend kindness have literally changed my life

Kindness is not being a doormat or acquiescing to uncomfortable or unrealistic demands. Kindness is a sincere desire to allow the Holy Spirit to shape our hearts like Jesus, overflowing with compassion. To follow the example of Jesus, we need to re-adjust our over-abundant, over-complicated and busy lives to make time for a hurting world.

Modelling kindness to our younger generation is the first step to changing the statistics that our next generation is self-centered and uncaring. Through the astounding kindness that I have received in the last five months, I know that when I have the strength and ability, I will make it my life mission to extend kindness wherever I go.  I believe it’s the greatest legacy I can leave.

University of Michigan research: http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases, 7724, September 12, 2015

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

Feeling Blessed--Carolyn R. Wilker

Blessed means more than just saying thank you. The Canadian Oxford Dictionary defines blessed with such words as sanctified; often fortunate in the possession of, listing such items as good health and children; and bringing happiness. I could just list my blessings one after the other, or I could contemplate a few of those at a deeper level.

 I begin with the most recent, and in no particular order—our newest addition to the family.

We’ve become grandparents again, adding a new small one to the family. Tiny Mya is more than three weeks old as I post today. Her cousins, by comparison, are bigger than her, but in relative terms, I’ll call them “her little cousins” for they are three-and-a-half and five-and-a-half years old. The girls have been curious about this coming baby for months now, and not long before Mya was born, they asked their aunt if she would bring a little girl. A fair question, since we didn’t know at the time whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. I look forward to observing their reactions as Mya grows and eventually smiles at them. They both had turns holding their small cousin when we gathered at Easter.

                                                               Mya and me

We marvel at those tiny fingers and toes, the utter innocence of a newborn. I have looked forward, at each grandchild’s birth, to snuggling the small one to me and the soft breath against my neck as the child relaxes and goes to sleep. And as the baby grows, there’s so much more to look forward to as she engages in this new world. Thus grandchildren are my first item under blessings today.

I could list a free country where we can worship without fear, or having the land to plant a small garden to grow food and flowers, to bring nourishment and beauty. Both are good, however, my next one for the moment is my friends.

                                                                    My friend Kathy

Perhaps it’s having so recently attended the funeral of my long-time friend, Kathy, that I place my friends next. It’s a reminder to send those little notes about what they mean to me, as I did for Kathy while I still could, and a remembrance of other friends, such as Annie, Gayleen and Barb, who have gone before me. At such a time, I want to consider what Kathy has meant to me and other close friendships I have, even if miles separate us. I value the special qualities of a sincere heart, a listening ear, prayer for one another's needs, and the joyful celebrations we’ve had together, and because friendship goes both ways, I strive to do the same. I want my friends—and you know who you are, to know how much you are appreciated.

The list of blessings could be quite long. My immediate and extended family are a big part of it. And there’s our heavenly Father, too, whose love we can reciprocate only in part. We’ve been loved first, before we could love him, and this is where Jesus fits in.

We are told that we do not see clearly now, and that any images we have of God are like looking at a reflection that's not very precise. From that I take that we will only fully appreciate and see that love completed when we see Jesus face to face one day. I’m not in a hurry to get there, but I know that others have spoken of that meeting in their final words in their earthly life. We know that Jesus goes ahead to prepare a room for us when we are no longer able to go on here. That’s who and what we celebrate this Easter season, for we are God’s children and Jesus wants to be counted as our friend.

Carolyn Wilker is author, editor, writing instructor and storyteller. Learn more about what she does here.

Blessings on the road ahead --Carolyn R. Wilker

Our neighbours across the street have sold their home and will be moving away. Seniors in their 80s, they've gone to Florida for winters for many years. We have come to know them over time as we talk about gardening and other matters of concern to both of us. Today we will celebrate with them as they prepare for a new step.

My husband and I grew up in a rural community and were used to knowing our neighbours, even when they lived a half mile away. Neighbours might work together in threshing groups and share a combine or they may help out someone struggling to get crops in when circumstances prevent that owner from getting it done, whether illness or accident in the family. The community becomes like an extended family, such as in 1979, the year my parents’ community banded together to help those who endured losses after a devastating tornado.

When we moved to the city, on account of my husband’s job, we soon learned that city people operate a little differently. While they live closer together, residents do not necessarily mix. We found, though, that where there were children, families tend to talk a little more and watch out for another child. And the time our car got stuck on a snow-clogged street one of our first winters on this street, residents came out of their homes to help dig out our car. I was most grateful.

We met two neighbours the first few days we moved to our current home, one when our daughter borrowed a can opener so my mother and aunt could make lunch for the moving crew. The second, on the day after our move, when our next-door neighbour came to welcome us and introduced himself. We would have to wait until Easter when our snowbird neighbours from across the street came home from Florida. Eventually, I crossed the street and said hello.

 When we built our workshop, the gentleman across the street would come over from time to time to see how things were going. And thus relationships began to build.

Then as our grandchildren came along, his wife began bringing back small surprises from their trip for our small ones, and I would take the children over to see her sometimes.

In times past, before Internet connections and cell phones make long distance communication possible, when a family was moving away, their neighbours might never see them again. Someone might say, “God go with you,” on what could be a perilous journey across the ocean, to a far-off land.

So too, today, in spite of advances in travel, we do not know what tomorrow will bring. We, too, send off our visitors from our door with a handshake or hug, wishing our guests a safe journey.

And so this afternoon, I will host a gathering in honour of our neighbours who are moving. We will have tea, lemonade and some treats along with time for socializing with one another. We may not say good-bye forever, necessarily, but we will mark this change in their lives. Thus I share my thoughts through an Irish blessing, the tune in my head as I write. It offers peace and well-being and the message, “God go with you.”

May the road rise up to meet you

May the wind be always at your back

May the sun shine warm upon your face

And rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

If you'd like to hear the melody, go here.