Old Fashioned Stories-by Heidi McLaughlin

Lately I thrive on the simple things in life, after dinner walks, finding a plaid shirt in a Thrift Shop or stopping for an ice cream cone. I also love being huddled down with a great book and a bag of black liquorice. As my late husband Jack would have said, “This and Heaven too!” Well, he finally got Heaven and I’m beginning to cherish simple gifts all around me here on earth.

“This and Heaven too.”

For instance, last week’s big snowstorm in Southern Alberta. For three days, while I was visiting at my daughter’s family home, we were stuck in the house with no electricity and no school. The first evening of darkness we sat huddled around candles and a puzzle we couldn't see, and stared at each other. So, what do we do now? So I pulled out my Grandma gumption and asked my grandchildren, “Would you like Nana to tell you stories about my growing up years?” I was shocked when they shouted, “Yes, Nana!”  They dragged out their favourite blankets, snuggled on the couch and waited with eyes wide open.

They were mesmerized as I unfolded my growing up years of living in a log cabin for two years, of waiting for the two black bears to leave the outside pump so that I could fetch mother’s water. Of root cellars, snakes, getting the strap in school, and hunting for chicken eggs in the woods. With bedtime looming, ten year old Austin let it be known that we should go back to living in those simpler times, sitting by candlelight as a family and telling stories.  It made me think.  Are we so caught up in the latest and greatest, the flavour of the week, who is the latest rock star that we’re leaving behind a rich legacy of simple stories?

Are we too caught up in the latest and greatest?

 

My sisters and I begged our mother to tell us stories of her growing up years.  Between the war torn years there was too much destruction, hunger and fear to relive the memories. Yet, now that it’s too late, I long to hear the details of those years. How did they overcome struggles?  How do you become resilient? Where/how did you find joy? What is the most important thing you learned?

Even photo albums are becoming old fashioned as we fully embrace our digital world. “Well, we can put them on memory sticks or DVD’s people say. “ But with technology changing every six months how will the next generation access these “old fashioned” devices? How will we preserve our stories for our next generations?

I hope my grandchildren will remember the week of the big snowstorm where the lights went out. The time when I invited them into the twists and turns of my growing up years, and gave them a glimpse into the past.

Do you have children or grandchildren that need to hear how you handled that bully, helped with the chores, made Christmas presents or helped mom and dad plant the yearly garden? The simplicity of these narratives will enrich their lives and leave your God given legacy.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

THE POWER OF KINDNESS-by Heidi McLaughlin

The word “kindness” may sound limpid, but I believe it is the strongest expression of love. If you notice a decline in human kindness, you’re not alone.  I was saddened and shocked by research done by the University of Michigan which states: “After the year 2000, College kids today are about forty percent lower in empathy (kindness) than their counterparts of twenty or thirty years ago.”  That was the beginning of the media age and kids grew up with access to games that eventually numb people to the pain of others.  When we become isolated and selfish, we don’t make time to be kind.

I am so grateful for people who still live their lives the way the Jesus taught us in the Bible which says: “…you should practice tender-hearted mercy and kindness to others” (Colossians 3:12 TLB). It takes unselfishness and time to stop our busy lives and make a phone call, deliver a meal, drop off a flower, or invite someone out for dinner.

It’s been five months since the death of my second husband and I am still receiving tender-hearted kindness from many people.  At the end of the third month I hit a wall and needed emotional and physical support.  When I prayed and asked God for help He used kind people to be His hands and feet to help me with every aspect of my life. Throughout my grieving journey, kind people have been my greatest gift. Those who took me in when I could not function on my own. Those who came to stay in my home and support me with meals and daily functions. Those who checked in with me every day to make sure I was O.K. Even the simple things like a card in the mail or in my Inbox, or joining me on a walk or a cup of tea.  Those people who made the time to extend kindness have literally changed my life

Kindness is not being a doormat or acquiescing to uncomfortable or unrealistic demands. Kindness is a sincere desire to allow the Holy Spirit to shape our hearts like Jesus, overflowing with compassion. To follow the example of Jesus, we need to re-adjust our over-abundant, over-complicated and busy lives to make time for a hurting world.

Modelling kindness to our younger generation is the first step to changing the statistics that our next generation is self-centered and uncaring. Through the astounding kindness that I have received in the last five months, I know that when I have the strength and ability, I will make it my life mission to extend kindness wherever I go.  I believe it’s the greatest legacy I can leave.

University of Michigan research: http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases, 7724, September 12, 2015

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

A Legacy of Words Ruth Smith Meyer

Our five grandchildren were ages 2 ½ -8 when my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer that had progressed too far for successful treatment. He was only sixty-three.

He had been feeling fairly well for some time after his second surgery when one day he kept going to the couch for a nap. My suspicions, aroused, I asked if he was sleeping because he was tired or if it was to avoid his thoughts.

“Probably the latter,” he admitted.

I suggested we go for a drive and talk. Driving through his favourite country-side the words tumbled from him.

“It’s not that I’m afraid to die,” he shared, “it’s just that there are so many things I still wanted do. I hate to leave you so soon, just when I thought I was going to relieve you of some of the house work so you could write. I’m proud of our grown children but I had hoped to continue to support and encourage them until they were much older. I have so many ideas for ways to spend quality time with my grandchildren as they grow up, now I will be leaving them while they are so young they may not even remember me or know how much I love them.”

The agony in his voice tore at my heart. What could I say? He was right! Then God planted a thought in my mind and I expressed it before I could give it more thought.

“You’ve learned in Marriage Encounter to write love letters to me. Even though you didn’t like to write and found it hard in the beginning, you do it beautifully now. Perhaps you’d like to write one to each of your children, in-laws and grandchildren.”

The face of the dear man I loved lit up in relief and gladness. There was a ring to his voice as he said, “I believe I will do that.”

In the next week or so, he labored over the words he wrote until at last he had written all twelve letters sharing special memories of each individual. His love and delight in each of their unique characteristics, his desires and wishes for them were all expressed with love affirmation and deep longing. He asked me to type them on nice paper and together we worked at fashioning envelopes for them. At first, he thought he would let me give them to the recipients after he died, but he couldn’t wait. I’m glad he gave them for it gave the adults a chance to reply to him.

What brings all these memories to my mind now? The two youngest were just, and not quite three when their grandpa died. For some time, their parents read their letters to them, but as time went by, they were stored away to be saved until they were older. As adults, we tend to think because we know and remember, the children will too. However at three, it’s hard to hang on to those details.

When the mother of one of those ‘little’ ones (now fifteen) casually mentioned the letter from grandpa, that young lady was shocked to know there was such a letter. When it couldn’t be immediately found, they asked if I still had them on my computer. I did. I read again those precious words before sending them on. The strong feelings and emotions of those days came flooding back, but something more happened. What a treasure my children and grandchildren have in those missives. Those words are a legacy that money can’t buy. Although I am still relatively healthy, I want to write letters of my own.

Expressing my love and delight in the strengths of my family and the people around me on a day-to-day basis has always been important in my mind. I want them to know while I am still living, how much they mean to me. I want also to express my encouragement and affirmations. However, there is something about the written word that seems more lasting. Some spoken words linger on in our minds, but if we can go back and read again what someone has told us, in their own words, it can be refreshing and sustaining each time we do so.

This blog is read by people who know the power of the written word. Our articles and books are also a legacy but may I suggest we all take the time to write personal letters to our loved ones or people who are important to us—letters that express our love and appreciation, our positive observations about who they are and our hopes and desires for them? We may choose to keep them until someone sifts through our important papers, but it may influence lives more if we give them right away. They could be a legacy that begins to give now.

Mortality, Legacy, Love, and Life - Black

Some of my most enjoyable social and inspirational moments are spent in our seniors’ residences and care facilities, whether I’m leading a scheduled worship service or engaging in an impromptu music session. I have a whale of a time singing my head off and playing an instrument, and sharing encouragement with my dear friends.

But, no illusions. It has to be getting unpleasant listening to this guy as the voice gets older, less dependable, and ornery (wants to do its own thing); but the gracious residents invite me back. It can be embarrassing, though, when singing a song or hymn I’ve known for decades, only to have the words evaporate in mid-verse, or the voice pop-fly somewhere I don’t intend. Besides, while concentrating on playing the instrument I seem to have insufficient brain power left for concentrating on pitching my voice and singing the words correctly, and as a result I sing flat and words come out jumbled. (Didn’t used to do that, but it happens now!)

Do you identify with my experience on one level or another? Those things which were no problem from the time of our youth become increasingly problematic. It might show up in a little breathlessness when hurrying, or in one occasionally aching joint, then another, and then another–and more frequently; that sort of thing.

It’s a reminder (as if one needs reminding) that we live our temporary lives in an aging body. Although good diet, dietary supplements, exercise, and all-round healthy living are to be encouraged, and may result in the enjoyment of a higher level of mobility and health–and for longer–than if we didn’t engage in them, the fact is our lives as lived here are temporary.

Once the realization strikes some people that they aren’t going to be around forever–for the invincibility of youth has fled, and their ‘up-an-go has up-and-went’–they begin to face their mortality. Some prominent personalities, tycoons, and leading politicians attempt to set in place a legacy, such as establishing a foundation that will better the lives of others.

For example, a century ago the Carnegie Foundation provided for the promotion of literacy and the arts in North America and Britain by funding the establishment of libraries and art-related institutions. Prime Minister Jean Chrétien set up an aid program for Africa. Bill and Melinda Gates of Microsoft Corporation channel funding and resources towards areas such as education and healthcare. A ‘temporary immortalisation’–to live on in collective memory– may be achieved by doing significant deeds to enhance the lives of others before passing off the stage of life and time. Few of us have either that kind of money or influence. Have we no legacy to leave?

Thank God for people in our community making a positive difference in the lives of children, youth, adults, the physically and developmentally challenged, and seniors, as they give of their time and share their abilities. Doing this with genuine humility and grace reveals loving action. "Love is from God," and "God is love," wrote St. John (1 John 4:7a, 16). And, "The world and its desires pass away, but the [person] who does the will of God lives forever" (in 1 John 2:17).

We can enjoy a legacy of life now and forever as we respond to God’s love through receiving the gift of His Son into our lives. I daren’t leave this life without Him!

~~+~~

The above article was first published in the Southwestern Ontario newspaper, The Watford Guide Advocate, June 19, 2008 - home of Peter A. Black's weekly column, P-Pep!

He is the author of the children's / family book "Parables from the Pond," which is being used in a variety of settings.

Email: raisegaze@execulink.com