THE POWER OF KINDNESS-by Heidi McLaughlin

The word “kindness” may sound limpid, but I believe it is the strongest expression of love. If you notice a decline in human kindness, you’re not alone.  I was saddened and shocked by research done by the University of Michigan which states: “After the year 2000, College kids today are about forty percent lower in empathy (kindness) than their counterparts of twenty or thirty years ago.”  That was the beginning of the media age and kids grew up with access to games that eventually numb people to the pain of others.  When we become isolated and selfish, we don’t make time to be kind.

I am so grateful for people who still live their lives the way the Jesus taught us in the Bible which says: “…you should practice tender-hearted mercy and kindness to others” (Colossians 3:12 TLB). It takes unselfishness and time to stop our busy lives and make a phone call, deliver a meal, drop off a flower, or invite someone out for dinner.

It’s been five months since the death of my second husband and I am still receiving tender-hearted kindness from many people.  At the end of the third month I hit a wall and needed emotional and physical support.  When I prayed and asked God for help He used kind people to be His hands and feet to help me with every aspect of my life. Throughout my grieving journey, kind people have been my greatest gift. Those who took me in when I could not function on my own. Those who came to stay in my home and support me with meals and daily functions. Those who checked in with me every day to make sure I was O.K. Even the simple things like a card in the mail or in my Inbox, or joining me on a walk or a cup of tea.  Those people who made the time to extend kindness have literally changed my life

Kindness is not being a doormat or acquiescing to uncomfortable or unrealistic demands. Kindness is a sincere desire to allow the Holy Spirit to shape our hearts like Jesus, overflowing with compassion. To follow the example of Jesus, we need to re-adjust our over-abundant, over-complicated and busy lives to make time for a hurting world.

Modelling kindness to our younger generation is the first step to changing the statistics that our next generation is self-centered and uncaring. Through the astounding kindness that I have received in the last five months, I know that when I have the strength and ability, I will make it my life mission to extend kindness wherever I go.  I believe it’s the greatest legacy I can leave.

University of Michigan research: http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases, 7724, September 12, 2015

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

Bear with Me by Ruth Smith Meyer

Me? Hibernate like an animal?  There may be some advantages.

As a child, author Thornton W. Burgess provided a delightful door to the world around me. I often sat, 15 or 20 feet from the ground, in the fork of a big maple tree in front of our home and entered the animal kingdom through his pages. Living with Reddy Fox, Jerry Muskrat, Jimmy Skunk, Cubby Bear and other creatures gave me the sense that I was sharing this planet with many other species. These stories helped me understand challenges that animals face, gave me a glimpse of their homes, the things that threaten their lives and the joy they find in the every day.

I thought of Burgess when our blog moderator asked the question “Hibernation – how come only bears get to hibernate? What would you do if you could go into hibernation?”

There are times when hibernation sounds like a mighty good idea.  Life gets hectic, when the days aren’t long enough to get everything done, or conversely, our attention is so focused on one thing that the other parts of life fade into the background. At such times, to have a season-long snooze becomes quite appealing. 

With my husband in the hospital and in rehab fifty minutes from our house, the past three months have been such a period in my life. There have been nights when I went to bed and thought I could sleep for a month or two, and mornings when I just wanted to burrow further into my bed and ignore the sun that shone through my window.

So if I were to hibernate, what would I like to do?  Starting around the beginning of November, I’d like to let my mind and body rest. The delta sleep with its deep slow brain waves could last for the first month or so.  

Over the years, I have found that I often come up with my best ideas for writing while I am partially asleep. After a time of that delta sleep, I would progress to the REM stage (Rapid Eye Movement) also known as active sleep or paradoxical sleep. I could wake up momentarily to jot down some of the ideas that spring up.  I could then alternate between the two stages. 

Recently, I’ve awakened in the dark of night, already praying for a person or a situation, some of which have been on my mind and others seemingly out of the blue.  During my hibernation it would be nice to have that happen frequently in those REM stages with brief moments of consciousness before falling asleep again.

Sometime, from the end of February to the middle of March, I’d like to emerge from my state of dormancy having had my body burn up most of the excess fat I’ve stored for too long, feeling fit as a fiddle, fired up and ready to get my mid-hibernation jottings in a more complete form on my computer.  Then I could look for places that would be glad to publish my wonderful articles and books.

Ahhh! Cubby Bear move over!

Ages and Stages of Life

“I’m just as busy as I ever was but I get less than half as much as I used to do in a day,” my grandmother used to say.  I used to laugh in response to that dear lady who had such a sense of humour. 

I thought of her a little while ago when I came across a diary I kept when our children were small.  At the time, I helped milk our herd of Holsteins twice a day.  I did many loads of laundry each day, sewed clothes for all of our family, had a huge garden and canned a lot and froze enough to fill two large freezers every summer.  Besides that I was involved in our local home and school, taught 4-H, was on various church committees and on and on.  Now I wonder how in the world I got that much done.  As I read of all I got done in one day, it seems preposterous.  If I didn’t know that I wrote the truth, I would believe I was being delusional in thinking I could do that much in a fifteen-eighteen hour day. It almost made me tired to read it.

In a recent blog, I shared how I was trying to sort through things as I prepared to get ready for laminate flooring on our main floor.  The floor is now laid and looks wonderful.  We look forward to easier cleaning and the fresher air with the dust-laden rugs gone.  Box by box, I bring the contents of my drawers back in the house, sort them into Keep, Give Away and Throw Away piles. With a pile of perhaps 18 boxes at the most, one would think a week should accomplish the task. However, with medical appointments, committee commitments, family involvement, daily exercise necessary for my health,  telephone calls—including those pesky sales calls—and many more interruptions, the days just don’t seem long enough.  Or is it that I’m like my grandma—I’m just as busy as ever but I don’t get half as much done.  Of course my day no longer starts at 5:30 or 6 a.m. and I seem to wear out before 9:30 or 10 p.m., the time I used to quit my work.  Suddenly, I understand that although Grandma was laughing at herself, she was telling the honest truth.

No matter what age we are, we need to do face the facts of life.  The fact is we need to do it over and over again.  Someone has said that no matter what stage of life we are at, we begin it inexperienced and have to learn over again how to be and live in the present stage in which we find ourselves. What is appropriate and possible at one stage isn’t fitting in another.  What was difficult and seemed impossible in one period, comes with ease in another.  Some things can be carried on from one phase to another, but others must be left behind. 

All my life I had a long list of things that were important to me, things I wanted to experience, be involved in, be able to serve and to be able to enjoy.  I worked with great enthusiasm to accomplish as many things as possible on that list.  I found much enjoyment and fulfillment as more and more of those items on my list came to pass. Often along the way I also discovered a few more things to add to the list.  The world is full of wonderful things to do. 

With advancing years and age, limitations sometimes restrict the ability to accomplish all we had hoped for.  So do we quit?  I can’t say that I have done that yet.  The list is still there, but I’ve pared it down to a more realistic panorama.  I’ve reevaluated what is really important and what could be of lasting value.  I’ve sorted these also into Keep Doing, Pass the Torch and Let it Go piles.

My mind went back to watching my dear mother-in-law aging and then waiting to pass through that gossamer curtain to fly into eternity.

Chrysalis

A soul is  born –

birthed from protective womb,

yet still cocooned

in parental love.

Clawing at life,

we struggle to be free,

to separate,

to stretch our wings,

to be ourselves.

Growing slowly,

wisdom seeks entry,

until in the end

we concede

to be beautifully content

as part of the cycle of  life

and we let go-

freed to fly home.

                              Ruth Smith Meyer

 “I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15 

Author of Not Easily Broken, Not Far from the Tree, Tyson's Sad Bad Day

Contributor to the anthologies, Second Cup of Hot Apple Cider, Grandmothers' Necklace, Fifty Shades of Grace.