She Laughs in the Face of Fear-by Heidi McLaughlin

The nausea was relentless. As if that wasn’t enough; my heart was pounding like a jack hammer and I felt light headed and disoriented. Claws of fear clutched at my throat and heart. This ugly fear was determined to stop me dead in my tracks and sabotage my first big speaking engagement. I believed with all my heart that God had prepared me and orchestrated this weekend Conference for me to inspire hundreds of women to become the women of influence that God had created them to be. Yet, here I was the one disabled and fearful and not able to step into this divine God appointed opportunity.

I decided to take a long, hot shower; perhaps that would stop my beating heart. As the searing hot water hit me from all angles it became glaringly clear to me; fear was the invisible enemy determined to stop me from bringing messages of love and hope and cross our wonderful nation of Canada. Then I got angry and declared out loud, “Fear, you are not going to steal my joy. I declare in the powerful name of Jesus that I will not give in to this fear but instead I will boldly go into the Conference and speak with a Godly confidence, and joy. I will not let the enemy of fear sabotage my God given appointment.” My heart stopped its persistent beating, and with a new resolve I dressed in a snappy outfit and stepped out into the world with confidence and joy.  

That shower monologue was a defining, hallmark moment for me. I saw fear for what it was; an invisible rehearsal of a negative future trying to stop me from fulfilling my God given purpose. Fear is a deceitful, enemy that can make us feel powerless. If we don’t recognize it and learn to “walk through it”; it can stop us from fulfilling our purpose in life and all those wonderful things God has available to us for our pleasure and fulfillment.

If you and I are going to be God influencers we need to learn to identify fear. Yes, there is good fear; the kind that tells us to look both ways before crossing the street; but there is a slavish fear that the bible says, “that spirit is not given us of God.”[1] Slavish fear is the kind that paralyzes our imagination, robs us of our self-respect and swallows up our purpose in life. I choose to be a woman of influence as described in the bible: “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” (Prov. 31:25 NLT).

What are you afraid of? It is very empowering and healthy to write down all our fears; look them in the eye and tell them that they will no longer have any power over you. Beyond our fear lies our greatest power. Instead, look to God and ask Him to give you the strength to push through that fear, so that you can move into becoming that beautiful woman of influence I believe you were designed to be.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

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[1] Heidi McLaughlin, Sand to Pearls: Making BOLD Choices to Enrich Your Life (Sisters, Oregon: Deep River Books, 2010), 149.

10 REASONS WHY I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT MENTORING-by Heidi McLaughlin

It happened sixteen years ago. A young woman came to me and with tears in her eyes asked me if I would mentor her. I was startled. I didn’t know how to respond because I had never officially mentored anyone. Even though I said yes, I had no idea how this “mentoring thing” would evolve. Over the next two years I experienced a journey of discovery and excitement in my spirit that I did not even know existed. I found that as men and women who have godly influence, we are called to mentor. For the women it clearly states in the bible that: “These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children, and to be sensible and clean minded…(Titus 2:4 NLT). I have discovered that when I am obedient to this command, I also grow spiritually and my own life is enriched and fulfilled.

Here are 10 reasons why I am passionate about mentoring.

1.                  Our great God is a creator and we are made in His image. We are fulfilled when we are also creating.  Mentoring gives me an opportunity to partner with God and create new life in another woman.

2.                  God is a God of order and He has a reason for asking us to do something. In the book of Titus it says that: “older women are to teach the younger women.” When I am part of God’s plan for the way He intended this world to work, my own life is enriched,

3.                  As I interact and minister to other women, I realize that the pain, confusion and failures I have experienced in my life, have given me wisdom that I must pass on to younger women.

4.                  I “get to” have an intimate relationship with another women.  We are created for intimacy and this type of close relationship fills that void in my own life.

5.                  I watch life transformation before my very eyes.

6.                  Younger women ask me questions for which I have no answers. This propels me to seek God more by intentionally digging deeper into scriptures, praying more and asking God for wisdom.

7.                  It teaches me to become honest and authentic.

8.                  Mentoring is a mirror for my own life.  When I realize that the woman I am mentoring watches me, it causes me to look at myself through the eyes of God and the other woman.

9.                  Mentoring teaches me what it means to become a godly woman of influence.

10.              Mentoring gives hope, encouragement, love, and wisdom to other women in every stage of their lives. I am in awe that God wants to use me to be his hands, feet and voice that will accomplish His plans and purposes in other women.

Mentoring for me is like skiing free-style. Each woman is unique in her request for me to mentor her and I need to listen to her heart and her need. I have mentored women to help them with their marriages, to teach them out to grow in their spiritual life, how to overcome being a “child of divorce”, how to live a Christian life after being in a cult, how to survive with 5 small children. And so on and so on. Each woman’s story is precious and distinctive. As Christian writers we have powerful wisdom and insights into helping younger writers craft their words and stories.

As women of influence it is up to us to look a younger woman in the eye and say, “How can I best help you in your journey?” Then let God help you forge the path.

   

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

The Making of This Writer by Ruth Smith Meyer

     As long as I can remember, reading and writing have been a central part of who I am. The reading part came very early in life, hearing my mother read stories to us—Bible accounts and tales from the Busy Bee series. Although Dad never read other than the Bible to us, he often had a book in his hand and shared historic and current happenings which inspired me to have an inquiring mind.

      For a Mennonite minister, he had quite an extensive library and encouraged us all to read. We soon learned that he couldn’t be persuaded to buy us toys, but if we asked for a book, he would find a way to get it for us. The teachers in the one-room school I attended added to the fascination for the written word. One chose interesting books from which to read a chapter every day after lunch. The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew, The Secret Garden and Little Men, for example, were read with such enlivening expression it wasn’t hard to imagine the settings, and live along with the characters. My best friend and I shared books for the local library and read well over a hundred in any given year.

     Another teacher in my upper grades was such a vivid story-teller that many lessons were absorbed when we thought she was just talking and had forgotten to teach us our assignments for the day. She even attended readings by Stephen Leacock which left us awe-stricken after reading some of his writings. Imagine meeting a real live author in person! 

 My first attempt at poetry came from her suggestion to write a poem about Queen Elizabeth’s coronation. In my teenage years, my writing was mostly in the form of letters to 35 pen pals to whom I sent monthly missives. I enjoyed making my letters so interesting that these friends could enter my world through what I wrote to them. My dad was the editor of a monthly newsletter that went out to probably about 500 addresses. I helped with editing, typing them on to stencils, and drawing illustrations with a stylus before running them off on a Gestetner. Occasionally he’d let me write an editorial and a few of my poems were published. I’ll never forget the thrill it gave me to see my first one in black and white. In my early twenties, a bi-national magazine called Christian Living published one of my poems on their back cover. It’s funny to me now, but I was absolutely shocked to receive a cheque for that contribution. I didn’t know much about the publishing world. I would have gladly paid them for the honour and satisfaction of having my poem included! 

      Over the years I had many letters to the editor in newspapers, small articles in others and I wrote columns for different organizations and clubs for weekly newspapers. At the Seniors Day Center where I worked, I wrote a bi-monthly column Keenager’s Korner which was published in four different weeklies so had quite a large circulation. I also interviewed each of the seniors and wrote a short life-story and along with a picture inserted it in a binder called This is Your Life. Often those dear people remarked how interesting their life sounded when I got finished writing about it. I know it pleased them and I like to think it was an encouragement to them. I didn’t think of myself as a writer—I was just doing what I enjoyed. Still, I had dreams of someday becoming a writer and author.

     My husband promised when he retired, he’d do the bulk of the house work so I could pursue my writing. Meantime, I took college writing and English courses. When he died of colon cancer at 63, I thought I may never achieve my goal. Had it not been for Brenda Lundy inviting me to God Uses Ink, I may have dreamed forever.

      I waited a year and then attended what had become WRITE! Canada. I didn’t know a soul, for Brenda had succumbed to cancer by then. I was welcomed and nurtured and took in so much information my head was full and my heart was light by the time I came home.

      For months, I had dreaded wakening to another day without my beloved, but the morning after that conference, I awoke with the realization that I could scarcely wait to get up and begin writing. I literally sat up in bed and said aloud, “Hello, the rest of my life! I want this day to begin.” It was nice to have new purpose in life. My first writing after that was a week’s assignment for REJOICE! a daily devotional. When that was well-received, I had several ideas of what to pursue. I had in mind a book I could write, but all the advice I got at the conference was toward writing articles first. However the book idea wouldn’t go away, so I thought I’d just begin to get it on paper while working at other articles. But when I got started I typed from 9 a.m. to 9 or 10 p.m. day after day as fast as my fingers could type. Even at night I often awoke with an idea of what should come next. Of course it took a lot of editing and reworking after the initial writing but there was a lot of pleasure in that first draft. Not Easily Broken wasn’t published for a few years, but the sequel, Not Far from the Tree came a year later after that.

     Tyson’s Sad Bad Day was another project that grew out of a poem that came to me in the middle of the night, following the death of my daughter’s best friend and the need of her young niece and nephew to have an understanding of death as part of life. When I couldn’t find an illustrator, my horizons were stretched again as I drew the pictures to illustrate that children’s book. I’ve also had the joy of being part of three different anthologies—Second Cup of Hot Apple Cider, Grandmothers’ Necklace and Fifty Shades of Grace, and have had several personal experience articles in a variety of magazines.

     Another marriage, learning to know and love another whole family, another long journey with cancer and continuing medical appointments, have slowed the process on my next big project—my life story, Out of the Ordinary. But it is well on its way. I began the task mainly for my family, but as I share chapters with my writer’s group, I am affirmed time and again that it is worth sharing with a larger audience. I hope some of you will think so too. Coming from a conservative Mennonite heritage perhaps is a different existence than most to begin with, but there have been many parts of and incidents in my life that fit the title. Much as we all are similar, each one of us is unique and out of the ordinary—but this will be my story.

Eau de Parfum of Christ - Nesdoly

This Christmas my husband gave me a bottle of perfume—one of my favourite gifts. I loved the fragrance he picked and soon found myself online, finding out about my new scent and the world of perfume in general.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:14 that our lives are the perfume of God to the world: "Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place."

Some of the characteristics of perfume I discovered as I researched my new gift help us understand aspects of the fragrant life.

• Commercial perfumes come from a multitude of sources: barks, flowers and blossoms, fruits, roots, seeds, animal glands...

This speaks of how the scent of Christ wafts from many peoples and places.  Individuals of every tribe and nation and from all over the world will be in heaven (Revelation 7:9).

• A perfume unfolds in stages. Its first impression is called its top or head note. When that fades the middle or heart note becomes prominent. Finally its base note is established, becoming the scent that lingers the longest.

This brings to mind the fact that the perfume of Christ pervades all our interactions from casual to intimate. Its fragrance should be evident in first encounters with people behind us at Starbucks and those we do business with on the phone. It should blossom in our relationships with people who know us better like neighbours, and friends. In fact, it should be the very stamp of our character so that even those we live with—spouse and children—will know its lingering fragrance.

• The same perfume doesn't smell the same on every person. When perfume molecules come in contact with the unique chemical makeup of our skin, they react and unfold differently.

We can take this as a picture of how the perfume of Christ manifests uniquely through each person's blend of personality, talent and experience. It involves each of us growing the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and using our spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:1-31). Instead of describing this perfume as floral, spicy, fresh or woodsy, we could name these perfume types merciful, generous, prophetic, wise, faith-filled, instructive.

• When putting on perfume, the advice is to apply it to pulse points. That's because perfume's fragrance strengthens as it's warmed. When our pulse increases due to exertion, excitement, or stress the scent spreads more efficiently.

Does that mean that life's stresses are good for spreading the perfume of Jesus? Probably. If we are full of Him, His scent (or lack of it) will spread more than ever when our lives heat up with trouble.

• Another tip for perfume application is to spray it into the room and enter its mist in order to be enshrouded by scent.

This reminds us of how important it is to spend time in the perfume—reading and studying God's word, praying, meditating, and spending time with other Christians.

• Finally, we all know that wearing perfume is forbidden in many places. That's because some people are allergic to perfume scents and actually experience physical dis-ease when in their presence.

2 Corinthians 2:16 reminds us that not everyone will appreciate or welcome the Christ fragrance that we carry. To those who have rejected Him, it is the fragrance of death. It should not surprise us that there are more and more places where sharing the good news about Jesus is forbidden. When we do it anyway, we'll probably get into trouble.

How are we doing as spreaders of the perfume of Jesus? Is this world a sweeter  place because of our presence?

(From the Archives of Other Food: daily devos)
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A Legacy of Words Ruth Smith Meyer

Our five grandchildren were ages 2 ½ -8 when my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer that had progressed too far for successful treatment. He was only sixty-three.

He had been feeling fairly well for some time after his second surgery when one day he kept going to the couch for a nap. My suspicions, aroused, I asked if he was sleeping because he was tired or if it was to avoid his thoughts.

“Probably the latter,” he admitted.

I suggested we go for a drive and talk. Driving through his favourite country-side the words tumbled from him.

“It’s not that I’m afraid to die,” he shared, “it’s just that there are so many things I still wanted do. I hate to leave you so soon, just when I thought I was going to relieve you of some of the house work so you could write. I’m proud of our grown children but I had hoped to continue to support and encourage them until they were much older. I have so many ideas for ways to spend quality time with my grandchildren as they grow up, now I will be leaving them while they are so young they may not even remember me or know how much I love them.”

The agony in his voice tore at my heart. What could I say? He was right! Then God planted a thought in my mind and I expressed it before I could give it more thought.

“You’ve learned in Marriage Encounter to write love letters to me. Even though you didn’t like to write and found it hard in the beginning, you do it beautifully now. Perhaps you’d like to write one to each of your children, in-laws and grandchildren.”

The face of the dear man I loved lit up in relief and gladness. There was a ring to his voice as he said, “I believe I will do that.”

In the next week or so, he labored over the words he wrote until at last he had written all twelve letters sharing special memories of each individual. His love and delight in each of their unique characteristics, his desires and wishes for them were all expressed with love affirmation and deep longing. He asked me to type them on nice paper and together we worked at fashioning envelopes for them. At first, he thought he would let me give them to the recipients after he died, but he couldn’t wait. I’m glad he gave them for it gave the adults a chance to reply to him.

What brings all these memories to my mind now? The two youngest were just, and not quite three when their grandpa died. For some time, their parents read their letters to them, but as time went by, they were stored away to be saved until they were older. As adults, we tend to think because we know and remember, the children will too. However at three, it’s hard to hang on to those details.

When the mother of one of those ‘little’ ones (now fifteen) casually mentioned the letter from grandpa, that young lady was shocked to know there was such a letter. When it couldn’t be immediately found, they asked if I still had them on my computer. I did. I read again those precious words before sending them on. The strong feelings and emotions of those days came flooding back, but something more happened. What a treasure my children and grandchildren have in those missives. Those words are a legacy that money can’t buy. Although I am still relatively healthy, I want to write letters of my own.

Expressing my love and delight in the strengths of my family and the people around me on a day-to-day basis has always been important in my mind. I want them to know while I am still living, how much they mean to me. I want also to express my encouragement and affirmations. However, there is something about the written word that seems more lasting. Some spoken words linger on in our minds, but if we can go back and read again what someone has told us, in their own words, it can be refreshing and sustaining each time we do so.

This blog is read by people who know the power of the written word. Our articles and books are also a legacy but may I suggest we all take the time to write personal letters to our loved ones or people who are important to us—letters that express our love and appreciation, our positive observations about who they are and our hopes and desires for them? We may choose to keep them until someone sifts through our important papers, but it may influence lives more if we give them right away. They could be a legacy that begins to give now.

Life's Building Blocks

Life’s Building Blocks -- Ruth Smith Meyer

Today was one of those days! No not the trouble after trouble kind. This one was packed full of blessings! Actually today made two in a row. Yesterday already made my heart sensitive to the concept, but today just clinched the theory! The people in our lives are building blocks, successively, one after the other moulding us into the unique beings we are.

Yesterday I was at a women’s meeting that brought together women from many eras in my life. Some I see frequently, some I had not seen in years. As the day progressed, I became more and more aware of the different stages in my life and the influence some of those women had on my growing, maturing and accumulation of experience and wisdom. Affirmation from several of those also made me aware that it was a two way street, and I marvelled at the thought.

This morning, as we met for worship, we were joined by several Irish women, in town for a quilt show this past week. They were new in my life, but I immediately sensed that they, too, could add to the richness of my life. I left my business card and e-mail information with them. I hope they use it so we can deepen that friendship and learn from each other. Some of us stayed at the church to eat lunch together. As we discussed our life together, my heart was filled with thankfulness and anticipation.

This evening I had two long telephone calls. One from my son – and yes, I pushed him into this world, but he has pushed me into learning many things, adding huge building blocks into who I became. His commitment to the Lord and to carring out the mission of his life as he sees it, pushes me to also stretch my limits and do my best. He inspires me to keep trying, keep faithful.

The other call came from a woman and her husband who served as hired hand to my dad when I was a teenager. Both were on the telephone. He has always felt like an older brother to me. His gentle, caring voice at all times brings me comfort and blessing. They came to this country as young adults. She often spent time with my sisters and I as her fiancé did chores. At first we communicated with some difficulty because of language barriers, but we had great fun as we searched for the words for different items. A familiarity between us grew and will always remain a precious building block in who I am today. When our call came to an end, my heart was full.

With each decade of life, the people who have touched my life becomes even more precious. I am ever more conscious of how much they have helped shape my life. I am more and more aware that we are all a part of each other. What am I adding to the lives that touch mine?

Do you think this reflective and thankful mood has anything to do with a big birthday looming less than a month away? Could be, but I can’t think of a nicer effect that birthday could have on me. I think there could even be a host of stories incubating in the whole episode.