10 REASONS WHY I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT MENTORING-by Heidi McLaughlin

It happened sixteen years ago. A young woman came to me and with tears in her eyes asked me if I would mentor her. I was startled. I didn’t know how to respond because I had never officially mentored anyone. Even though I said yes, I had no idea how this “mentoring thing” would evolve. Over the next two years I experienced a journey of discovery and excitement in my spirit that I did not even know existed. I found that as men and women who have godly influence, we are called to mentor. For the women it clearly states in the bible that: “These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children, and to be sensible and clean minded…(Titus 2:4 NLT). I have discovered that when I am obedient to this command, I also grow spiritually and my own life is enriched and fulfilled.

Here are 10 reasons why I am passionate about mentoring.

1.                  Our great God is a creator and we are made in His image. We are fulfilled when we are also creating.  Mentoring gives me an opportunity to partner with God and create new life in another woman.

2.                  God is a God of order and He has a reason for asking us to do something. In the book of Titus it says that: “older women are to teach the younger women.” When I am part of God’s plan for the way He intended this world to work, my own life is enriched,

3.                  As I interact and minister to other women, I realize that the pain, confusion and failures I have experienced in my life, have given me wisdom that I must pass on to younger women.

4.                  I “get to” have an intimate relationship with another women.  We are created for intimacy and this type of close relationship fills that void in my own life.

5.                  I watch life transformation before my very eyes.

6.                  Younger women ask me questions for which I have no answers. This propels me to seek God more by intentionally digging deeper into scriptures, praying more and asking God for wisdom.

7.                  It teaches me to become honest and authentic.

8.                  Mentoring is a mirror for my own life.  When I realize that the woman I am mentoring watches me, it causes me to look at myself through the eyes of God and the other woman.

9.                  Mentoring teaches me what it means to become a godly woman of influence.

10.              Mentoring gives hope, encouragement, love, and wisdom to other women in every stage of their lives. I am in awe that God wants to use me to be his hands, feet and voice that will accomplish His plans and purposes in other women.

Mentoring for me is like skiing free-style. Each woman is unique in her request for me to mentor her and I need to listen to her heart and her need. I have mentored women to help them with their marriages, to teach them out to grow in their spiritual life, how to overcome being a “child of divorce”, how to live a Christian life after being in a cult, how to survive with 5 small children. And so on and so on. Each woman’s story is precious and distinctive. As Christian writers we have powerful wisdom and insights into helping younger writers craft their words and stories.

As women of influence it is up to us to look a younger woman in the eye and say, “How can I best help you in your journey?” Then let God help you forge the path.

   

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

9 STEPS TO AN UNBALANCED LIFE - By Heidi McLaughlin

A balanced life is over-rated. Before you call me a fanatic and burn me at the Time Management whiteboard I want to ask you. “So how is time management” working for you?”

Over the past ten years we have been saturated with “how to” steps for managing our most precious commodity-time. I was the day I threw my palm pilot into the garbage that I realized I had become a slave to time management. With all the information on how to de-clutter, time management workshops, fat day timers, computer and i-Pad calendars and every piece of technology known to mankind to help us with our 24 hour days, we are still rushing, sighing and feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

A balanced life sounds like a wise, wonderful concept; but what happens when our finely tuned “one hour increments” in our day timer fall behind and we fall apart? In a question and answer period at one my conferences someone asked me the question, “So Heidi, how do you manage your time?” It had been a long time since I looked at my daily life and this question evoked some serious evaluation. I became acutely aware that I am so blessed to be a mom and grandmother; able to still work four days a week, write books, speak across the country and mentor younger women. It made me realize that I am able to describe my life the way my youngest granddaughter’s face lights up when she is delighted about something and exclaims: “That’s yummie!”

I am deeply passionate about leaving my fingerprint on the earth in a meaningful and powerful way.  The bible inspires me with this truth: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12 NIV).  Here is what those words mean to me:

1.    Say “Yes” to Yummie.  God has given all of us gifts and passions to make our lives, and this world a better place to live.  Ask yourself this question, “What makes my heart pound? What keeps me awake at night dreaming, thinking planning? What do other people say I am good at?” Those are gifts God has given each of us. How dare we not use them?

2.    Say “No” to clutter and useless, meaningless tasks.  Why do we feel it necessary to fill our days with things that have no value; meaningless tasks that rob us of our passions and smiles?

3.    Pray and ask God for His wisdom how to live each day. Do this before you create another calendar event into your i-phone and the two alerts to keep you on track..

4.    No, we are not responsible for everything that happens in everyone’s life.

5.    Get proper rest. Fatigue makes cowards out of us. It makes us vulnerable and before we know it, we are caving in and signing up for another thing that will rob us of more energy.

6.    Realize there are seasons of being totally out of balance. I just finished a difficult season of caring for my mother before she died; challenging disruptions at work and speaking at many conferences.  My life has been totally out of balance for a few months, but my heart is still pounding with passion and purpose.

7       7. Realize this life is about relationships and not process. The bible reminds me of this in such a powerful way: “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath” (Psalm 39:5 NIV). The breath of God within each of us is more important that the petty little tasks that consume our hours. 

8.    If you don’t know your gifts or passions, ask God to reveal them to you. He will gladly do it. ^“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5 NIV).

9.    Create your own “magical trash can” and get rid of all the “shoulds” that are robbing your joy.

God has given you and me the “breath of life” on this planet to make a beautiful and powerful impact on mankind. I don’t believe God ever meant for us to be chained to a time machine. As energetic, smart people, God fearing people living in this 21^st century, we must take the time to discover our strongest gifts, passion and the purpose that God has given us. Having clarity about our daily purpose will fill our life with pure pleasure and satisfaction. It’s time to stop, smile and say “yes to the yummie.”

 Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

Write Out of Your Passion – MANN

Over the past few weeks, members of The Word Guild have reminded us of different ways we can encourage one another to blog in a variety of writing efforts. New, seasoned and between writers can join hands and learn from each other. Writing can be a lonely difficult journey mixed with self-esteem issues of celebration and failure. We begin in our passion and invite that passion to flow through our words, hoping that someone else will identify and connect with what we’re saying.

I started to write stories when I was seven. I would dress up my cat, put her in a sunny place and read to her. Later I wrote music and lyrics that gave invitation to show my emotions in an acceptable way. Words that I would have liked to shout, I immersed between notes and phrases of melodic rhythm. Later in Sunday school, choir and women’s ministries, I wrote skits and poems to involve people to participate in the time. Then I began writing family stories about men and women in past generations for our family history. When I later went back to school to answer God’s call to ordained ministry, I found myself immersed in many different kinds of writing assignments.

As I reflect back, I remember many times when I was tempted to put my work aside, talking myself out of its merit and value. Yet, the adventure of creating, contributing and making a difference always won out. And in that, I somehow found a sense of peace and accomplishment.

I too can look at a pile of unfinished ‘stuff’, rejection slips and files of ideas for further development. This is not failure. If anything, it is energy waiting to happen. It is black and white proof that I continue to open the gift of writing that God has given to me. I admit, some days are slower than other days. There are times I grow impatient with myself and want to clean up, finish up and move on. It is then I pause to remember all of this is a journey. Maybe I just need to change my walking shoes.

Keep in touch: www.homestead.com/the_meadows/mann.html
Aggie's Storms(2007)Agnes Macphail's story of growing up to become the first woman elected to Canadian Parliament

Do I Really Need to Be Passionate About My Writing? – Lindquist

A few lines I read in a book recently took a huge load off my shoulders. Well, not literally. More accurately, they stopped my brain from pacing around and around in circles inside my skull. They opened a door in my mind and let all my anxious thoughts escape, freeing me.

For years, I’ve heard that you need to figure out who your target audience is and write books, blogs, articles, etc. all geared to that market. It’s called branding. And these days you hear it everywhere. In fact, I even tell people that myself. It’s good advice.

Donald Maass, literary agent and author of the book, Writing the Breakout Novel, says you need at least four novels that appeal to one particular audience before your audience starts to “know” you (i.e. you break out from the pack). I’ve heard other authors say it took them 5 or 6 or even 7 similar books to get known in their field.

It makes perfect sense. You want to be remembered, and it’s easier to be remembered if you have one dominant characteristic. When you think Tupperware, an image of good plastic storage bowls and other dishes comes to your mind. You don’t have to wonder if you’re talking about dishes or shelving or raincoats.

So when you think N. J. Lindquist, you should think… Ah, there’s the problem. What exactly should you think?

I’ve had a number of conversations with editors and agents who’ve asked me what I write, but when I started to tell them, held up their hands and said, “Just give me the one book you’re passionate about writing.”

And I flounder. I honestly don’t know which book I’m passionate about writing!

At this moment in time, I have no fewer than 20 partially written books.

I pull out the file folders and plastic bins they sit in, and I gather them on a table in front of me. At one time or another, I’ve obviously been passionate about all of them. But at this moment, do I feel any passion at all? No, mostly what I feel is bewilderment. What's wrong with me that I have 20 books I want to write? And why, when I start to think about working on one of them, do the rest all start shouting in my head, “What about me?” “Don’t forget about me?”And from not being passionate about any of them, all of a sudden I’m passionate about ALL of them, and I want to write them all, at once, right now.

Argh!!!!!!

So there I was a few weeks ago reading Barbara Sher’s book, Live the Life You Love (which I heartily recommend you read right after her other books I Could do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, and, if you’re anything like me, Refuse to Choose: A Revolutionary Program for Doing All That You Love), and there on page 77, she said, "When you start doing the work you were born to do, you don’t feel passion. What you feel is that nothing is missing." (From Live the Life You Love, Barbara Sher, page 77)

Comfort? Like an old friend you can sit down beside and not have to worry whether you combed your hair or if you have stains on your shirt.

Comfort? Like the feeling that you're in the right place at the right time.

And I realize that this is exactly what I feel. Comfort. About each one of my 20 or so books. Comfort about not having to focus on one type of writing.

Maybe my brand should simply be “woman who has all sorts of interests and writes what she pleases.” So what if I never break out or have a best seller. So what if I'm not held up as an example of how a writer should behave. I have a feeling I'll have a lot of fun.

Now all I have left is to figure out how to write 20 – okay, what if we start with four? – books at the same time. One book on writing; one contemporary novel; one adult mystery; and one children’s fantasy chapter book. And I can keep up my blogs, too. After all, I have so much more to say about being healthy and loving your family and dressing for success and country music and baseball and elderly dogs and celebrating your creativity and… Oops getting a little lightheaded. But this is me!!!!

If you want to know what I’m thinking about life in general, read here.

If you’ve read my newest book Hot Apple Cider and want to comment, go here…

To read the opening to my children’s fantasy, click here.

If you’re interested in my advice about writing, go here.

I recently blogged on "point of view" in fiction on Fiction Matters.

My regular column on the body of Christ is in the Maranatha News.

My main website is here.

P. S. The photo shown here was taken at the UrbanThink bookstore in Orlando Florida where I was signing my mystery novel, Glitter of Diamonds, a couple of weeks ago.

P. P. S. I will post pictures of my signing of Hot Apple Cider at ICRS in Orlando on the Hot Apple Cider site.

P. P. P. S. My teen books are feeling neglected, so here's a link to them.

Off to have fun and be comfortable. :)