10 REASONS WHY I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT MENTORING-by Heidi McLaughlin

It happened sixteen years ago. A young woman came to me and with tears in her eyes asked me if I would mentor her. I was startled. I didn’t know how to respond because I had never officially mentored anyone. Even though I said yes, I had no idea how this “mentoring thing” would evolve. Over the next two years I experienced a journey of discovery and excitement in my spirit that I did not even know existed. I found that as men and women who have godly influence, we are called to mentor. For the women it clearly states in the bible that: “These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children, and to be sensible and clean minded…(Titus 2:4 NLT). I have discovered that when I am obedient to this command, I also grow spiritually and my own life is enriched and fulfilled.

Here are 10 reasons why I am passionate about mentoring.

1.                  Our great God is a creator and we are made in His image. We are fulfilled when we are also creating.  Mentoring gives me an opportunity to partner with God and create new life in another woman.

2.                  God is a God of order and He has a reason for asking us to do something. In the book of Titus it says that: “older women are to teach the younger women.” When I am part of God’s plan for the way He intended this world to work, my own life is enriched,

3.                  As I interact and minister to other women, I realize that the pain, confusion and failures I have experienced in my life, have given me wisdom that I must pass on to younger women.

4.                  I “get to” have an intimate relationship with another women.  We are created for intimacy and this type of close relationship fills that void in my own life.

5.                  I watch life transformation before my very eyes.

6.                  Younger women ask me questions for which I have no answers. This propels me to seek God more by intentionally digging deeper into scriptures, praying more and asking God for wisdom.

7.                  It teaches me to become honest and authentic.

8.                  Mentoring is a mirror for my own life.  When I realize that the woman I am mentoring watches me, it causes me to look at myself through the eyes of God and the other woman.

9.                  Mentoring teaches me what it means to become a godly woman of influence.

10.              Mentoring gives hope, encouragement, love, and wisdom to other women in every stage of their lives. I am in awe that God wants to use me to be his hands, feet and voice that will accomplish His plans and purposes in other women.

Mentoring for me is like skiing free-style. Each woman is unique in her request for me to mentor her and I need to listen to her heart and her need. I have mentored women to help them with their marriages, to teach them out to grow in their spiritual life, how to overcome being a “child of divorce”, how to live a Christian life after being in a cult, how to survive with 5 small children. And so on and so on. Each woman’s story is precious and distinctive. As Christian writers we have powerful wisdom and insights into helping younger writers craft their words and stories.

As women of influence it is up to us to look a younger woman in the eye and say, “How can I best help you in your journey?” Then let God help you forge the path.

   

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

Mentoring- CARLETON

Who do young girls today see as their mentors?  Actresses?  Models?  Singers?  Are they looking for the fame and fortune?   Or maybe they are looking to their teachers, young adults in the church or maybe their friends?  Who is encouraging, supporting and building up today’s teen girls?

It is an interesting, yet scary world out there.  Here is a quote I found- “Today’s teens have grown up seeing less of their parents and more of the evil world than any previous generation.  They are without heroes’.  They are desperate for love, in need of guidelines and seeking a reason to live.”

Titus 2 instructs women to teach younger women.  I am curious to ask teen girls what we may be teaching them. 

I see so much hurt in the lives of teen girls today.  I often ask myself what I am doing about it?  Am I living up to what God has instructed me in Titus 2?  Do the young women today inspire to be women of God?  Why or Why not?

I am asking myself a lot of questions that are burning on my mind these days.  What I have been finding in my own life is that I am too busy.  That I busy myself doing things with my family, with friends, work, etc.  But I leave little to no room for opportunities to be a positive example in the life of someone that God has placed before me.

In order to fulfill our calling in Titus we all need to “make” the time and be open to any opportunity that sets itself in front of us.  The word mentoring doesn’t always mean taking someone out for coffee once a week.  A new term that is being used is “lifestyle mentoring” which is more of what I am thinking about.  That we open our lives to a younger woman with a need that has entered our path. 

Take a few minutes today to read through Titus 2 and open yourself to what may cross your path.

 

Cj Carleton is the 2008 Canadian Christian Writing Award winner for her first book “What Makes You Unique? Discover the Truth or Believe the lie”.  Learn more about Cj and her Mentoring Webinar by visiting www.cjcarleton.com You can also connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.

Mentors - Grove

I love the concept of mentoring. It makes a million miles of sense. When I talk about mentoring, I feel all warm and fuzzy, I sigh a secret smile and think, "Ah me, what a wonderful thing, to help and be helped."

Then reality smacks me upside the head and says, "Hey, girly-girl, wake up! You know better!"

Better?

Oh yeah, I know better. I know the difference between giving mental ascent to a concept and living that concept out in real life. Take Christianity. Wowee, there's a concept. Total redemption, forgiveness, salvation, peace like a river. I'm all in! (and I am - all of me). But when it comes to living out the life Christ demonstrated for us - well, warm fuzzies flee. The Christian life is "simple", but difficult to live. It takes a moment to moment relationship with Christ, a second by second checking with the Spirit connection. It takes every part of us. The wonderful concept of salvation, played out in the life of any one individual is complicated, intricate, messy, involved - and sometimes a struggle. (Which is why I don't waste my money buying books by preachers who would have us believe that God is a great big sugar-daddy in the sky just waiting to hand you all the money, power, and SUVs you deserve - but that's another blog).

So what has this got to do with mentoring?

I recently received an e-mail from someone who took a bold and courageous step outside herself and reached out to me, asking if I would consider being a writing mentor to her. She's a big fan of my blog, and she's looking for someone to offer a guiding friendship to help her on her way. Flattered, I'm sure. Who, me? Gosh! But that feeling quickly faded.

Two things hit me in quick succession: 1) This woman's courage is to be admired. How many of us would look at something (in this case a blog), admire it, and say - I'm going out on a limb and ask the author if she would consider helping me? How many of us? I think that takes guts!

2) Mentoring is hard work. It's the ugly girl at the dance that everyone feels sorry for but never asks to dance. It's the job we all know could be done, should be done, but no one can seem to find the time to do it (like discipleship - or confessing our sins to one another - or submitting to the spiritual authority of our pastor - or any other spiritual discipline we don't like doing and so have conveniently cut out of our faith with a clean razor and walked away from).

And I suppose it would make sense if I ended this blog post with a pithy truism, or at the very least, a tidy concept that cleaned up the theme and put it in a tidy pile. But, I don't have any good ending - no one-two punch that makes it all make sense. But I suspect you will forgive me for that. And I hope that you and I can stroll this road together awhile as we take in the scenery, and think thoughts.

Bonnie Grove is the author of three upcoming books: Non-fiction - Your Best You: Discovering and Developing the Strengths God Gave You (March 1, 2009. Beacon Hill Press). Fiction - Talking to the Dead (Summer 2009) and Talking to Angels (Spring 2010 - both from David C. Cook). You can visit Bonnie at her website www.bonniegrove.com and her blog http://www.fictionmatters.blogspot.com, or follow her on Twitter (just add BonnieGrove).

Humility - Aarsen

I was honored to be a part of The Word Guild's conference a couple of weeks ago. The conference took place in Guelph, Ontario and I was one of three plenary speakers. I also did a workshop. But the best honor I received was tying with Linda Hall for first place in the Romance Writing category of the contest sponsored by the Word Guild. When I found out I was in the running with Linda Hall, I was pleased and humbled and, I have to confess, resigned to not winning. Linda was the first 'real' writer I met face to face. She also took me to my first 'writerly' event - a reading by a mystery writer in Edmonton. I was thrilled to be a part of this ambience and to be spending time with Linda, a published author. At that time I was a starry-eyed wannabe. I had no idea that authors actually mingled with ordinary people or were, gasp, ordinary people. Quite a revelation. I wanted to be like Linda. I wanted to write like Linda. But as I worked with words and struggled with story, I realized I had to be me. And me is a romance writer. But the interesting irony is that now Linda and I write for the same publisher, Love Inspired. We are both writing romance. So to be sharing this award with Linda is a delightful irony. I want to congratulate her here and now. And thank her for the encouragement and the push that she gave me when I was trying to find my own stories.

Carolyne Aarsen

Learn All You Can - Meyer

“Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won’t have time to make them all yourself.” – Alfred Sheinwold

I have often threatened to write a book about all the things you shouldn’t do to become a successful author. Yes, I do have enough material to fill a whole book!

At a recent book launch, I told my audience, largely composed of former writing students, of one thing that I had done that they should never do. Back when I first conceived of writing a series of books, I set myself a challenge: the last three words of one book would be the first three words of the next book. I did this (a) because I like a challenge, (b) because my books were being published out of sequence and I had some notion that a person would be able to “link” my books together in chronological order even if they couldn’t do that using a copyright date and (c) because I like a challenge.

As I teach, mentor and edit, I always strongly encourage writers to have a great “hook” at the beginning of their book. The first few words are what will draw the reader in or make them set the book down and pick up the next one on the shelf. After the first few words of a book, the second most important thing is the last few words of a book. I still remember the last line of a book I read as a child: The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens: “It is a far far better thing I do than I have ever done. It is a far far better place I go than I have ever gone.”

I suppose part of the reason that I made so many mistakes, especially early on in my career, was that I was almost exclusively self-taught. I did have access to some books about writing from our very small local library but for the most part, it was a case of trial and error.

I had been writing in virtual isolation for six years before I attended my first writer’s conference. It was the first time I had ever met an editor, the first time I had met an agent, the first time I had rubbed shoulders with other authors. I was so blown away! And what amazed me the most was that I found out that what had taken me six long years to learn on my own, I could have learned in three days through the wonderful workshops and classes that were a part of the conference!

I was so excited by this that I gathered my courage up, went home, put together everything I had learned (the hard way) and began preparing writing classes so that other aspiring authors could learn about writing without having to go through the trial and error process that I had gone through.

So this is my message to all of you out there who may be thinking about writing or have started to write. Don’t struggle alone. Even if there are no writing classes or writer’s groups near where you live, there is an organization that is here for you. The Word Guild can be a support to you wherever you are in this very large country of ours.

Write! Canada is a conference held every year in June in southern Ontario. It’s a great time to learn from the mistakes - and successes - of other authors. For more information about Write! Canada and the other services that The Word Guild has for you, check out their site at http://www.thewordguild.com/.

Dorene Meyer
http://www.dorenemeyer.com/

Mentor to Many - Meyer

Recently I was awarded a mentor position in the 2008 Sheldon Oberman Emerging Writers’ Mentor Program here in Manitoba. But even before I received this news, I had been thinking a lot recently about the topic of mentoring.

It came up about a month ago at a book event where someone was telling me about their writing journey. She talked about a course she had taken with the late Carol Shields and how this renowned Manitoba author had influenced her writing career. Then she asked me if I had a writing mentor. A name immediately popped into my head but I quickly dismissed the idea. It seemed too bold of me to assume that I had a mentoring relationship with the author that had come to my mind.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was probably the best way to describe the influence this person has had on my life.

It has been uncanny at times. I always seem to be a few steps behind her like a distant echo. It’s not an intentional following but some common passions and personality quirks seem to be leading us inexorably down a similar path. There are differences, of course, but many startling similarities also.

At my lowest moments when I was ready to throw in the towel, she was coincidentally there also, ready with a patient but no-nonsense approach, enabling me to forget the self-pity and get back to work, doing what I most love to do - write.

Recently, Chip MacGregor addressed the topic of writing mentors in his weekly blog. He said, “A mentor is someone who is a bit further down the path from yourself – with more experience in the field, so as to give you some wise advice and direction, especially when you are trying to grow or are faced with a major decision.” Yes, I think I do have a mentor, after all.

So as you celebrate your 60th birthday and I my 50th (there’s that distant echo again), I want to thank you N. J. Lindquist for being a mentor to me.

I know there are many others who have also benefited from your wise counsel and leadership, many who have been helped along their writing journey, who have been mentored by you. So perhaps it would be fitting for me to thank you on behalf of those countless other writers who would not be where they were today if it were not for N. J. Lindquist.

Thank you!

Dorene Meyer

www.dorenemeyer.com

Geese Lessons - Hovsepian

Preface: I'm in the middle of whirlwind preparations for Mission Fest Montreal this weekend (I'm in charge of the children's program on Saturday, for which we anticipate about 100 kids!), so please allow me to simply pull out the latest editorial I wrote for my church newsletter (slightly edited).

On Sunday, October 21, after the morning worship service at a women’s retreat I attended, a few of us stepped outside to enjoy the unusually warm sunshine (for October in Montreal!) and gorgeous fall foliage. While we were chatting, we heard unmistakable honking overhead and looked up to see an amazing site!

About 50 Canadian geese were flying in perfect V formation — one big V in front and a smaller V off to the side — clearly ready to migrate south for the winter. They were flying so low that we could see their white bellies and hear their enthusiastic honks.

Those of us watching all reacted in similar ways: marvelling at the excellent example of leadership, teamwork, encouragement, and even humility, as each goose knew its place and didn’t try to take over the situation. What an apt illustration for topics such as mentoring and discipleship, though you might not think so at first.

A few months ago, the Men’s and Women’s Fellowship groups at my church both had meetings that focussed on role models and how we, as maturing Christians, can be good role models to those around us, especially younger people.

While this is a very important issue, I believe we can’t assume this type of responsibility unless we, too, are teachable students, humble followers and willing disciples. How many of us have a mentor to teach us, challenge us, keep us accountable, and encourage us?

It’s natural for each one of us, especially after a time of spiritual growth, to feel eager to share with others our faith and the things we’ve learned… and this is definitely important! However, we put ourselves in danger if we do not make sure that we are first being properly fed and discipled.

We all need Christian friends who are genuinely concerned about our walk with God and who can honestly but lovingly check up on us… people who go beyond small talk and meaningless conversations, who are passionate about God and His Word, about prayer, worship, and fellowship… so much so that they cannot help but talk about these things when they are with other believers.

Just like geese, surround yourself with others who are growing in their faith and are actively serving God. Humble yourself enough to learn from a more mature believer, whether that’s your pastor, a teacher, a parent or even a friend. And be more eager to serve than to lead. God will place you at the front of the flock in His own time.

And by all means, “honk” loudly about your joy in Christ: God loves to hear our praise!

http://www.annhovsepian.com/ http://www.designergenesdevo.wordpress.com/