There is a "Why" in All of Us-by Heidi McLaughlin

These past few months I’ve been teaching yung'ns how to blow Hubba Bubba bubbles. Firstly, how to chew the big wad of gum until it feels “just so” and ready for the blowing. Secondly, wrap it around your tongue so it’s firmly encased in your mouth and then gingerly blow air into said gum. But it hasn’t been that easy to explain and the results weren’t always that stellar. In fact, we finally resorted to watching live demonstrations on YouTube, printing off instructions from Google and then watching ourselves perform the awkwardness of these steps in the mirror. 

Why do I succumb to these senseless, time wasting and unproductive activities?  Because I love children and get a thrill out of watching people succeed at anything. I love laughter, zany conversations and the simple things in life that give me good stories and memories.  There are other “whys” in me. Why do I spend so much time and money going to writer and speaker conferences? Why am I such a ferocious reader and love to golf three to four times a week? Why do I mentor, prayer counselling, teach Bible studies and then for relaxation, watch foreign movies? Because that is how God has wired me and how I’ve found fulfillment and pleasure in life.  

Why do we do what we do?

The “why” is also a good way to get into a person’s heart and find out why they are they way they is. It’s a beautiful way to connect. For example: Last week while golfing with a woman I’ve never met, we have lovely conversations about what brought both of us to Kelowna at this time in our life.  At one point I started to say: “I love to have a full life and I don’t like being alone for long periods of time because….” Then my new friend finished it for me, “Because you don’t like the emptiness.”  Wow that response blew my mind.  After a few more golf shots, I finally had the courage to ask her, 

“Why do you know about emptiness?”

You can probably guess that for the next four holes our conversation got real, honest and even gritty. A few times I couldn’t even hit the ball because of the tears in my eyes. The “why” question opened her heart and her story, and at the end of the game I knew I made a new and authentic friend. 

It’s good to find answers to our personal “whys” and those honest and life-changing answers are found in Jesus Christ. Listen: “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.”(Ephesians 1:11 MSG).  So if life is confusing and you need answers, run to Jesus and ask Him.

• Why do I feel so anxious and tired all the time?
• Why do I get so defensive and takes things so personally?
• Why is my life out of balance?
• Why do I not love my husband the way I know I should?
• Why do I spend the way I do?

Certainly we can ask these questions to a friend or come up with our own assumptions. But our real answers will come from the One who created us and knows every detail of our lives. Jesus is the One who will give you the answers that can transform you and help you to live your very best life.

What is one question you need to ask Jesus?  Be brave, and ask Him today.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends. 

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

Secrets by Ruth Smith Meyer

A small solid wooden box stood before me.  It was made of a dark wood and had a lovely patina.  It even had a lock and key.  My mind went back to my childhood.  How I wished for just such a box. My four-year older sister had a card box in which she held her secret treasures.  I was told to never look inside that box.  To be fair, she allowed me to have one too for my treasures. We agreed the contents would be off limits to each other, but I didn’t entirely trust that she would disregard the temptation to explore when I wasn’t there. I wished I had a key!

Did it work the other way?  Would I have sneaked a peek into hers if the opportunity presented itself?  Not on your life!  She was used to ruling the roost.  If she thought I may stray from what she wanted, her threat “You’d better (not) or you’ll be sorry!” quickly made any such desire vanish like a cloud of dust driven in a strong wind.

I did wonder what was so secret that she had to hide it in a box.  Yes, I did have my box too, but mainly because she had one.  My embarrassment, should she look into mine, wasn’t because of the treasure I had in it, but because I didn’t think I had anything important enough to hide—and I didn’t want her to know that.

Those ‘secret boxes’ have come to mind often in my life, for it seems that secrets that need to be boxed up are detrimental to being an honest and open person.  In my case they represented my feelings of inadequacy.

Many years later, when I realized I was still hoarding my secret stash of inferior feelings, I made a conscious effort to open the box and allow others to see me as I am. Having nothing to hide was so freeing.

If I was presented now with a beautiful box, I no longer would require a lock.  It would probably be set somewhere with the lid open to display some interesting stones, shells or some other items I have collected and love.

I’d rather not be in a box anyway!

Ruth Smith Meyer is an author and inspirational speaker who enjoys people wherever she goes. 

Honesty or Dirty Laundry? - by Heidi McLaughlin

The month of August is historically very hot in Kelowna, British Columbia. The kind of heat that makes your glasses steam up when you open the oven door. Even though it’s cooler this year, there is a different heat steaming up the air. It’s in the form of a hot question in our mind that we might be afraid to verbalize. So here goes: “When do we cross the line from honesty to hanging out our dirty laundry?” 

I am drawn to authentic, honest people. As I watch the U.S. Presidential campaign and hear the deplorable balderdash, my heart hurts that we transgress from reality and honesty into verbosity and yes; at times lies.  So what is honest authenticity?

The World Craves Honesty

Wouldn’t it be fun to get an honest Christmas letter? Something like this:

“The family trip to Swaziland went off the rails when everyone got sick and the luggage and passports were lost. You're so tired of your children you want to send them to Antarctica or sell them at the next garage sale.”

How refreshing to witness authentic living. I’m not talking about hanging out dirty laundry for sensationalism or getting attention, but being honest about our sometimes messy and complicated lives. We all have them.

With all the deception and duplicity in politics, large corporations and even families, I know that more than ever we crave honesty and authenticity. But we pretend or exaggerate because we want people's attention. We want to feel important, different, admired. So sometimes we cross the line just to know we've been heard.

I want to be an authentic and contagious Christian author and speaker that is not afraid to speak the truth, who has no hidden agenda for self promotion and whose desire is to be honest about my relationship with God and others. So how do I do that?

The Hot Truth

First, I need to be honest to accept and admit my motives, mistakes and shortcomings. Sometimes this might mean talking to someone I can trust, a friend or counsellor. Someone who will listen but not judge me. Then I need to be honest with God because He made me and I know He can handle it. I want to be like David in Psalm 139:23, 24.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Point out anything in me that offends you.”

Hanging out our dirty laundry, perfection and bragging turns people off but I know honesty draws them in. To stand out from the crowd and reflect God’s love, I believe honesty has to be at the top of our list. Make our yes be yes and our no be no. Let it be truth that will stand the test of the refining hot fire.  During these hot summer days, let our hot topics be honest and authentic.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places was released this July and can be purchased through her website or Amazon.ca; Amazon.com or Goodreads.com

The Nitty-Gritty and End Results of Writing by Ruth Smith Meyer

Perusing my notes from several years of WRITE! Canada, my jottings had a definite effect on my reaction to the most recent books I’ve read. 

Over the years, those who attend WRITE! Canada regularly, hear various rules for writing repeated many times.  Here are a few:

• ·        Your first paragraphs need to contain a hook that will grab your readers and keep them reading through the rest of the book.

·        Choose your focus and make every paragraph move the story along.

·        Don’t go down “rabbit trails.”

·        Most of your writing should be on a grade five level so as not to lose any of your readers.

·        Your title and your book cover need attract your reader and indicate what can be expected inside the covers.

·        Edit, edit, edit—not just for grammar and spelling but to make sure the story flows in a consistent manner.

In most cases it’s wise to follow the rules, but sometimes they can be broken.  One book I recently read had no obvious “hook” in the first paragraphs.  It’s hard to judge what affect that would have had on me, had I not previously met its most charming author and seen first-hand, her enthusiastic spirit and sensed the depth of her experience of life. (But then, I am enough of a reading addict that a slow beginning doesn’t often stop me.  I’m always sure that it’s going to get better and be worth my reading.)  This book definitely was.  For starters much to this dictionary reader’s delight, it wasn’t written on a grade five level. I was elated to read words that tickled the senses and fed the spirit.  I even had to get out my dictionary for one word I hadn’t remembered reading before.  I was like an exited school-girl again, savoring a new word that I could add to my vocabulary.  It’s taken me a little longer than it usually does to read Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber because I don’t want to miss one word of it.  However it’s feeding me and giving me pleasure in a way I haven’t been gratified for some time. 

               Another book that I promised to review has been quite different.  The title and subtitle attracted me because I thought it was a subject that needed to be addressed in this day and age. I could scarcely wait to begin.  Being the eternal optimist, I kept hoping the book would come through with what the cover promised, however the text attempted to address too many side issues and never really got to the core of what I had been expecting.  Perhaps it would have been better for the author to write several books—a tribute to the life of his father, the strengths of and delight in his son, the agony of a breaking marriage, parenting as a divorced father.  It left me with a lot of questions that were never fully addressed.  I admire the author for trying to be vulnerable and honest about a difficult subject and time in his life, but it felt as though he never did come quite clean.  It made me wonder too; about the experienced people who helped edit and critique his book.  Surely they must have realized that rearranging some of the material would have improved the flow and perhaps assisted the reader to make more sense of it. In no way do I wish to be critical of the author—I would just encourage him to be more focused and honest about his feelings.  It is hard to be that vulnerable, but it will be more helpful in what he was aiming at—to be helpful to others going through the same thing.

               There are delights and pitfalls in writing—and reading.  The main purpose of writing is to get the stories out there in a way that will help other people grasp the lessons of life and absorb them into their own experience. 

Writing courses and writer’s conferences can make us much more aware of the things of which we need to be mindful. Even then, when we’re writing, we can’t always see the pitfalls clearly on our own, even with multiple reading.  That’s where friends, proof-readers and good editors and can help us. 

Living life openly and honestly and listening for the whispers of God will also be an advantage to writing in such a way that will allow readers to respond in a personal, meaningful way.

Sharing Twists and Turns in Life - MANN

My husband, Doug and I recently returned home from a winter holiday. As usual there were the immediate tasks that needed attention: emails, phone messages, post-mail, bills to pay and even notes from visitors and house-sitters Although new technology made it easy for us to keep in touch, there was still the onslaught of new information upon returning home.

While we were on the road, it was easy to be distracted from friends and relatives’ ongoing stress and difficult situations. The excitement of new experiences easily took our attention and numbed past memories. Even though it could appear as running away or escaping the reality of stress, obligations and expectations, it was still important to do this.

After changing my pace for this time, it surprised me how certain people, tones of voice, a particular song or landscape reminded me of the very person or situation for which I needed to pause, remember, offer prayer or contact. It was unfinished business and a privilege to remember.

During this holiday, I was privileged to attend the Florida Christian Writer’s Conference. I was pleasantly surprised to see some familiar faces in the industry and hear an echo of many writing styles and interests I’d heard at Write! Canada. Cec Murphy was the theme speaker and he reminded us as writers to be vulnerable, honest, real and candid. In his usual speaking style laced with humour and information and life's twists and turns, he shared authentic areas of his own faith and writing life.

This experience reinforced a benediction I’d heard at an Ash Wednesday Service in an Alabama United Methodist Church. The minister said something like, “I’d like to tell you, as a follower of Jesus, that life is going to be without problems when you go out that door. Not so! But, you are a Child of God, and God loves you and is with you to strengthen and enable you. Talk to God! Amen.” This benediction meant so much more as the minister had earlier shared difficult twists and turns in his own faith journey—a perfect example of honesty and vulnerability proving faith in action.

Yet, knowing this to be true, and wishing I could make this work better in my own life, I am often tempted to use poor examples of phrases and over-used words to prove that faith works, while it’s living in the pain and suffering (twists and turns) that truly reinforces an active faith. I often wonder why, I seek to offer the end result of particular experiences, rather than staying in the struggle. Is it a little like someone asking me how I am, and instead of responding “Do you have an hour?” I automatically say, “Oh, just fine.” Didn’t someone say, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over!” And too often I want to close a situation, claim it’s all over and say that I’m a happy camper and that God is smiling. And then when the dust settles, if I’m being honest and vulnerable, I’m going to admit that in ongoing daily encounters in life, I need to

“talk to God! Amen.”

Donna Mann

Keep in touch: http://www.donnamann.org/

http://stores.livingwordsmann.com/

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Do You Wear Masks When You Write?

Do you wear masks when you write? Do you ever put things down on the page that you think you should say because your church or your friends or even your publisher thinks that way? Things that represent how you think you should think or be or what you should do? Do the words stare back and you and call you a ‘liar?’ If you don’t, I salute you.
More than once, I’ve found myself throwing out pages littered with clichés and Christian lingo, words that really didn’t reflect what I thought or what I was trying to convey to my readers.
More times than I can count, I have had to leave my computer keyboard to sit with pen and paper in a quiet spot to replace meaningless platitudes with honest English. I have had to write out thoughts that shocked or confused me or revealed aspects of my thinking that needed examining.
Writing demands transparency. To say anything worthwhile we must be honest, with ourselves, with others, and with God. We must be willing to be uncomfortable and reach beyond “should be” to “what is”. To look at ourselves and the world as they truly are. We can’t wear our masks.
Taking off the masks helps connect us with our readers and with God. It allows us to write honestly about the human condition, which is certainly not all light and goodness.
Readers know when we gloss over what we think to make it palatable or politically correct. They know when we are trying to fit a mould; or trying contort ourselves into an image we think they want to see. And the result is boredom and a quick toss of our work in the garbage.
Take off the mask when you write.
Sit down with a pen and paper and see where your thoughts take you. See what inspiration awaits you. Pray about what you are meant to write, or think or do. And, above all, be honest. Your readers will thank you for it. And you will find God taking you on journeys you never knew were there.
Jane Harris Zsovan writes in both mainstream in Canadian publications about faith, business, arts, and contemporary Canada. She is the author of Stars Appearing: The Galts' Vision of Canada. She contributed "Jessie's Generation: Canada's Firebrands of Mercy and Justice" to Hot Apple Cider: Stories to Warm the Heart and Stir the Soul. Jane writes Vision of Canada Blog, on contemporary and historical Canada.