There is a "Why" in All of Us-by Heidi McLaughlin

These past few months I’ve been teaching yung'ns how to blow Hubba Bubba bubbles. Firstly, how to chew the big wad of gum until it feels “just so” and ready for the blowing. Secondly, wrap it around your tongue so it’s firmly encased in your mouth and then gingerly blow air into said gum. But it hasn’t been that easy to explain and the results weren’t always that stellar. In fact, we finally resorted to watching live demonstrations on YouTube, printing off instructions from Google and then watching ourselves perform the awkwardness of these steps in the mirror. 

Why do I succumb to these senseless, time wasting and unproductive activities?  Because I love children and get a thrill out of watching people succeed at anything. I love laughter, zany conversations and the simple things in life that give me good stories and memories.  There are other “whys” in me. Why do I spend so much time and money going to writer and speaker conferences? Why am I such a ferocious reader and love to golf three to four times a week? Why do I mentor, prayer counselling, teach Bible studies and then for relaxation, watch foreign movies? Because that is how God has wired me and how I’ve found fulfillment and pleasure in life.  

Why do we do what we do?

The “why” is also a good way to get into a person’s heart and find out why they are they way they is. It’s a beautiful way to connect. For example: Last week while golfing with a woman I’ve never met, we have lovely conversations about what brought both of us to Kelowna at this time in our life.  At one point I started to say: “I love to have a full life and I don’t like being alone for long periods of time because….” Then my new friend finished it for me, “Because you don’t like the emptiness.”  Wow that response blew my mind.  After a few more golf shots, I finally had the courage to ask her, 

“Why do you know about emptiness?”

You can probably guess that for the next four holes our conversation got real, honest and even gritty. A few times I couldn’t even hit the ball because of the tears in my eyes. The “why” question opened her heart and her story, and at the end of the game I knew I made a new and authentic friend. 

It’s good to find answers to our personal “whys” and those honest and life-changing answers are found in Jesus Christ. Listen: “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.”(Ephesians 1:11 MSG).  So if life is confusing and you need answers, run to Jesus and ask Him.

• Why do I feel so anxious and tired all the time?
• Why do I get so defensive and takes things so personally?
• Why is my life out of balance?
• Why do I not love my husband the way I know I should?
• Why do I spend the way I do?

Certainly we can ask these questions to a friend or come up with our own assumptions. But our real answers will come from the One who created us and knows every detail of our lives. Jesus is the One who will give you the answers that can transform you and help you to live your very best life.

What is one question you need to ask Jesus?  Be brave, and ask Him today.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends. 

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

"Take Your Time" - by Heidi McLaughlin

I am fixated on the British Open Golf Tournament taking place in Scotland at the Royal Troon Championship course.  It’s the 3rday of the tournament and Phil Mickelson, my favourite player, is in the lead. I focus on his drives, short pitches, brilliant putts and the interaction between him and his caddy. “Jim Bones” Mackay has been Phil’s caddy since 1992 and they have established a trusting relationship.  

This part fascinates me.  On every tee box both Phil and “Jim Bones” go through the routine of Phil’s next shot. They establish wind velocity, precise yardage, angles and hazards. Conversation takes place back and forth; they pick the right club, Phil steps up to the tee and then I hear Jim Bones' last words, “Take your time.”  With that simple, yet powerful send off for success, it feels like everyone can breathe again.

We need to hear “take your time” more often. We live in perilous times where we take pride in how much we can pack into one day.  Taking our sweet time about anything is simply not an option. It might even be considered laziness.

Little children teach us to savour the moments. They love to take their time playing with Lego, sitting and listening to stories. We are the ones who teach them to hurry. I can still hear myself, “Get your coat on we’re running late.” “ Quit fooling around, you need to eat your lunch so we can get out of here.” I wonder if subconsciously we learned that it’s bad or wasteful to take our time.

Our relentless pursuits to find fulfillment and success cause us to become weary, overwhelmed and sometimes cynical. I don’t think we were designed to hurry our way through life. Jesus modeled simplicity. “Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-29 MSG)

I confess I am also a card-carrying member of the rat race of blogging, tweeting, posting articles, Facebook memes, Instagram, Pinterest and on and on. But with all that we've invested in becoming writers and speakers I would like to suggest that we pause and “take the time” to learn from Jesus and enjoy our journey. We are to throw off all those things that are “ill fitting” and focus on the things that will bring us joy on our pathway to success. So I have to ask myself, “What do I need to take the time to throw off so that I can live freely and lightly?”

Not many of us have a “Jim Bones” to help us become successful and remind us to “take your time.”  But we have Jesus who says we are to watch and learn from Him how to live freely and lightly.  Jesus never hurried. He took time to interact with people and model The Father’s love. He focused on His purpose. He changed the world. What can you and I learn from Jesus that will help us to stop hurrying,  “take the time” and enjoy our privileged season as writers and speakers?

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

Heidi's latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places was released July 14th, 2016 and can be purchased on her website or amazon.com

SURVIVING SELF-SABOTAGE - by Heidi McLaughlin

Curiosity can kill the cat or open the sabotage door. Strangely enough my curiosity on the golf course affirmed the sub-conscious power of self-sabotage. I’m not a great golfer but on a good day I can play a pretty decent game.  I have a dream to shoot a certain score and I know I can do it. So why hasn’t it happened?  A pattern has unfolded that forces me to look at how I actually sabotage myself from reaching my goal.  When I am at hole 15 or 16 and know that I am close to a good score, I add the numbers to see how close I am to my dream objective. I start to get it excited. Very soon the game changes and the next three holes are a disastrous Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. Target missed. Then the walk of shame.  Why do I defeat myself? Again and again!

My husband has seen my dismay and voiced my frustration: “Honey why do you check your score before the game is over. You always end up sabotaging your dream?”  I agree with him and am beginning to understand the verse in Bible that says: “The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy” (John 10:10 VOICE). Ok I know I am stretching the analogy of a golf game but I am becoming aware of this concept in many areas of life.  Perhaps a goal of writing a book, speaking to a large audience, pursuing a radio program, raising funds for a worthwhile project or opening a Day Care Centre. There is an enemy (Satan) playing dirty to steal our dreams and joy through making us believe voices of defeat and accusations that are not true:

a.         You don’t deserve this.

b.         You’re not smart or capable enough.

c.          You will never amount to anything.

d.         Why would anyone want to hear what you say or write?

e.         Who do think you are anyways?

Those negative thoughts have burned into our sub-conscious to sabotage our glorious and fulfilling future. They sneak into our soul through the trap door of fear, unworthiness and shame.  It’s important that we recognize them because they are not from God.  In Philippians 4:13 NLT it says: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”  You can do ANYTHING my friend.  The number one regret that people have is: I wish I had been more true to myself.

If you are standing on the brink of a big idea for a book or you want to take up painting, decorating, scuba diving or run a marathon. Dismiss the voices in your head and tell them:  “Oh, it’s you again.” Then step up to the plate and embrace the life that God has given you to live with passion and joy. In the second part of the John 10:10 Jesus says this: “I came to give life with joy and abundance.”

If you have children you know how much you want them to enjoy the gifts you give them. Our God is a good Father who has lavished us with gifts and abilities for our pleasure and to make a difference in this world. Let’s not allow fear or shame to defeat us, instead let’s look sabotage right in the eye and say: “Oh it’s you again” and move into your glorious future.

 Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca.

Her new book RESTLESS FOR FOR: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places will be launched July 4, 2016.