“ONE” DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A LONELY NUMBER-Heidi McLaughlin

Being a writer can be lonely. But writers are privileged to have the passion and purpose for creating picturesque and compelling words that we hope will leave the reader with: “Wow, that was a great article.” However, being alone is not always good.

Even though this generation is better connected through social media and technology, it is ironic that today we are a society that is adrift and lonely.  In fact, many people after they spend time on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram come away saying: “Why is everyone living the life except for me?

In an article written on November 23, 2013 in the Globe and Mail, Elizabeth Renzetti writes: “In Vancouver, residents recently listed social isolation as their most pressing concern. More Canadians than ever live alone, and almost one quarter describe themselves as lonely.” She goes on to say: “A study last year from the University of California at San Francisco showed a clear link between loneliness and serious heart problems and early death in the elderly. Seniors in the study who identified themselves as lonely had a 59-per-cent greater chance of health problems, and a 45-per-cent greater chance of early death.”[1]

Loneliness is such an ugly word. It reminds me of sitting in the cafeteria eating my boring lunch and hoping some popular or cool person would come and sit beside me.  If I sat alone, I felt like a looser, unwanted and rejected by society. It is only human nature to wonder: What is wrong with me?  Strangely enough, it is soldiers who really suffer and feel alone when they come back from

battlefield.

Extensive research has been done in the past decade to establish that humans feel safe and are joyful and fulfilled when they are in community or intimately connected to each other. In an article in June 2015 of VANITY FAIR, called The Bonds of Battle, the author Sebastian Junger gives us startling facts about soldiers returning from war with PTSD.  Yes, the atrocities of war do cause anxiety, trauma and depression. However they are now discovering is that part of the PTSD trauma is perpetuated because the soldier is lo longer in the safety and reliance of community and camaraderie. The author says this: “Our society is alienating, technical, cold and mystifying. Our fundamental desire, as human beings, is to be close to others, and our society does not allow for that.”[2]

Yes, some days I am alone, but I do not feel lonely. There is a huge difference. Sitting at my computer all day is a choice and for the most part I find it rewarding. It is up to you and me to make that determined effort to get up and go out to interact with other people. God designed us to be lovingly connected to each other. In the Bible there are thirty-six “one another” principles that guide us as to how we can be connected:  Here are just a few to show us how we can help each other and find fulfillment:

1.              Be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).

2.              Serve one another (Galatians 5:13).

3.              Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18).

4.              Be hospitable to one another (1 Peter 4:9).

5.              Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

6.              Greet one another (Romans 16:16).

7.              Pray for one another (James 5:16).

8.              Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25-26).

Being lonely may seem crippling at times and just saying: “Get out there and connect with other people” may seem daunting to some people.  The first step is to admit to the loneliness and be determined to change it. Take small steps to smile at other people. Make eye contact, greet someone and ask: “Are you having a good day?” Do something kind. Ask a question. Put an arm around someone. Drop off a cup of coffee. Pick a flower and pass it along. Sit on a bench and start talking to someone. Join a book club. Have someone over for a cup of soup.

“One” doesn’t have to be a lonely number if we are willing to step out of our comfort zone and reach out. Ask God to help you. I know He will.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

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[1] www.theglobeandmail.com/life/life-of-solitude-a-loneless-crisis-is-looming/article

[2] VANITY FAIR, The Bonds of Battle, Sebastian Junger, June, 2015, p. 142

Idle No More - Meyer

In recent days, we have heard a lot about the Idle No More movement.

There is a lot of information out there for people who want to learn more, and I would invite you to do so.

As a non-Aboriginal person who has lived in Aboriginal communities and who has also tried to keep educated about Aboriginal issues, I offer my personal opinion.

I believe that the Idle No More movement is a good thing for two reasons. The first is that it has united First Nations (and to a lesser extent Metis and Inuit) people across Canada, giving them a renewed sense of purpose and of hope for the future. The other good that I see coming out of this is that it is creating a conversation between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people of Canada. True, it is currently a shouting match, but still it is a conversation. Prior to this, there seemed to be just about zero amount of interaction between the average “grassroots” Aboriginal and the average “grassroots” non-Aboriginal Canadian.

What I don’t like about way things are currently going with this movement is that they are being joined, and are in danger of being overshadowed, by people whose primary concern is the environment. This movement is not about the environment; it is about the concerns of Aboriginal people across Canada. There is a problem and it is time for everyone to get on board and start talking about it. There has been this huge fixed wall between the average non-Aboriginal Canadian and the average Aboriginal Canadian. We (as non-Aboriginals) have occasionally thrown things over that wall in a non-educated attempt to help. Boxes of books sent to a community with no attempt to communicate with an actual person in that community would be an example of that.

What I am hoping for (and as a Christian, praying for) is that the Idle No More movement will begin to break down the wall that has been between us. People are people are people. There is no us and them. We are all human beings – mothers, fathers, wives and husbands – yes, with some cultural differences which must be respected but not to the extent that it separates us to the point of noncommunication.

The problems that exist are not easily resolved – they are centuries old. No one – not Chief Spence or Prime Minister Harper – are going to be able to wave a magic wand and solve all the problems with one meeting or with a hundred.

The problems that exist are not getting worse – they are getting much better. Overall, there are many more Aboriginal people who are living better lives than there were fifty years ago. There is less prejudice. There are more people achieving better education. There are, in general, better living conditions. But, we still have a long, long way to go. Fact: The standard of living for the average Aboriginal person is much lower than for the average non-Aboriginal. The Solution to the Problem: not so simple.  And trying to point a finger at any one group or person is not helpful. We all need to start talking and working together towards a solution. And that really, I believe is what Idle No More will achieve – a long over-due dialogue between all Canadians: Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal.  

Other related posts are: http://twgauthors.blogspot.ca/2008/06/legacy-continues-part-1-meyer.html http://twgauthors.blogspot.ca/2008/07/legacy-continues-part-2-meyer.html  http://twgauthors.blogspot.ca/2008/08/legacy-continues-part-3-meyer.html http://twgauthors.blogspot.ca/2009/10/sleeping-giant-awakens.html http://twgauthors.blogspot.ca/2009/12/sleeping-giant-awakens-part-2.html

Dorene Meyer

www.dorenemeyer.com

Publisher at Goldrock Press: www.goldrockpress.com

 

Appreciating the Past in the Present - MANN

As I pulled the hot bread from the oven on New Year’s morning, in preparation for the pot-luck dinner at our neighbour’s later in the day, I was reminded of past years. I thought about my Mother’s assortment of bread and dinner rolls that she’d place on the cupboard counter ready for the family feast. I looked out the kitchen window to the snow covered hay field and in my mind’s eye could see the red cutter and black horse that brought my grandparents across the field for the goose dinner. Funny, how memory gives one the gift of love and comfort at a time when we are far removed from the generation and century.

This feeling stayed with me during the day as each step I took placed a landmark of memory in view. As I walked up the shovelled path to our neighbour’s house, he flung the door open and shared words of welcome and blessing. Immediately, I saw the large Christmas tree recently hauled from the back bush, filled with a history of Christmas ornaments to tell the old story. The Century farmhouse soon filled with friends and relatives of all ages. The children played at our feet while the men sat in one area to talk about feed prices and ways to get the Massey tractor started and the women talked about recipes, Afghans and new babies.

As I heard the words of thanksgiving for the food and people who’d gathered for the meal, I couldn’t help but reflect on my Grandfather’s few, but meaningful words of gratitude that he’d share at such times. Isn’t it nice when good experiences always connect with other fond memories of the past? It has a way of bringing what might be forgotten into the present to once more enjoy and be strengthened.

The chatter and laughter, teasing and joking filtered down the table, along with the tragedy of pig farming at this time and the corn still standing in frozen fields, having to wait until spring for harvesting. This wove in through the more serious discourse at my end of the table which had developed into theological and psychological conversation. I became aware of the wonderful diversity of people at such a gathering as this and how entering into the areas of interest of those with whom you’re seated, offers a wealth of personal appeal.

As the sun lowered in the sky and the shadowed fell across the front veranda, the children, who had dressed warmly to play outside following the dinner, began to feel cold and retreated into the warm house, covered with snow, revealing red cheeks and noses. Then as lights were slowly turned on here and there around the room, more coffee and tea poured and the hands of the clock turned yet another hour, most of the adults continued to sit at the table to talk. When we finally moved back to the couches and easy chairs, the conversation continued with the same enthusiasm, and I brought my knitting out of its bag.

It wasn’t long before we were invited back to the table with, “Come on and eat up the leftovers.” I noticed how we all went to our same chairs we’d left only the previous hour, to finish a light meal. When we finally began to say our goodbyes to the younger ones who had to take their children home, and those who had to go to milk the thirty cows waiting in the barn, someone joked, “I wonder what we’ll have for breakfast.” What a treasure to live in a farming community amongst good people. This day held a reflection of the past, reality of the present and a promise of the future.

Donna Mann
Aggie’s Storms. The Brucedale Press
WinterGrief. Essence Publishing
NEW: http://stores.livingwordsmann.com

Ask Not For Whom the Bell Tolls

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."

John DonneDevotions uponEmergent Occasions, no. 17(Meditation)1624 (published)

In the close-knit First Nations community of Norway House, where I live, the flags are quite often at half-mast.

I can't remember the first time that I read John Donne's famous poem but the words come frequently to mind, especially when I hear of someone's death or see a lowered flag.

It seems, as I mentioned above, that the flag is at half-mast more often here in this community than in any other place where I have lived. And it makes me wonder... who died? Why was the flag lowered in their honour? Were they a dignitary? A soldier? Was there a tragic event that took many lives all at once? What merited the lowering of the flag?

I've come to the conclusion that each live is so valued that it doesn't matter who it was. An "expected" death of an older person is viewed as the very sad passing of a valued community member, a wise elder, a treasured grandparent. That person's death, as John Donne says, "diminishes me."

I suppose it is because, even though the community has a population of 6,000 or 7,000, families have lived in this same place for generations - and if you don't know someone in the community, you know someone who does. There is no 6 degrees of separation here - maybe 2 or at the most 3.

It may seem strange to be thinking about death in the springtime. But the fact is, most suicides occur in the spring, especially in the far northern communities. Spring is a rather dismal time with bare trees, mud, and gray, thin ice on the lakes.

Whenever I see a lowered flag, I try to remember to say a prayer for the greiving family. I may not know them personally but they are a part of me, nonetheless.

Ask not for whom the flag is lowered. It is lowered for you.

Dorene Meyer

http://www.dorenemeyer.com/

Author of The Little Ones

"Dorene Meyer approaches the difficult challenges faced by foster parents with compassion and a deep understanding. Throughout the book, the focus is always on the promises of God to never forsake His children. Really a touching, inspiring read!"

Crying Wind, author of Thunder in Our Hearts, Lightning in Our Veins