Cleaning Up The Winter Mess-by Heidi McLaughlin

Finally, in Kelowna the snow has melted and replaced the terrain with a grey and brown mess.  Even though our winter was harsh, the majestic beauty of fresh, glimmering snow temporarily hid the remnants of fallen leaves and dried vegetation. On my regular five kilometre walks I love to look around at God’s glorious creation and take time to praise Him and thank Him that I live in such a beautiful country. Today it was hard, as my eyes took in the grey rubble, mud and brownish flattened grass. 

Winter has left its stain.

The winter seasons in our life also leave their ugly scars and discoloured reality. Those seasons of grief, disappointments and daily struggles, when it seems that everyone is getting on with his or her life and you’re left behind. When the communication in your marriage hits a rock wall.  Or when you feel like you’ve lost control of your children and call yourself a “terrible parent.” When you’re trying to start a new novel or non-fiction book and the landscape of your brain is barren and dry. No matter how hard you try, the monthly budget just doesn’t meet all the needs.  Those are the dark and lonely days of the winter season.

Trudging along with one foot in front of the other I reflected on my own winter season. Yes, losing my second husband to a heart attack was dreadful and hard and left a grey mess in my life.  But how sad if I continue to stay in that darkness without hope of new life.  As I continued my walk I saw   The vineyard workers had been in the fields and starting pruning the grape vines.  The beginning of new life! Bountiful fruit.  The new season of spring is just around the corner. 

signs of new hope.

New hope!

We all go through those hard cycles of life, but what a waste if we stay in that mess and never allow God to prune us for new beginnings.  New growth.  Transformed minds. So how do we continue this journey out of winter and into spring?   “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Trusting God to take you out of your darkness and onto a new pathway starts with knowing who “your Lord” is.  Is it your own strength? Is it the advice of your friends and family? Or is it the Lord, the creator of Heaven and earth? The One who knew you before the foundations of the world were formed? The One who marches the stars out each night and calls them by name, and not one of them is missing? (Isaiah 40:26). 

Our Lord who has a good future and plan for each one of us.

I know it may not feel like it, but God is with us every day helping us to live out our very best life.  In the same way that our nature seasons come and go, our life and soul seasons follow that same rhythm. Allow God to guide you out of your winter darkness, let Him prune what needs to go, and embrace the fresh and new springtime of your life. Watch the new fruit emerge!

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

What Energizes You?

With a title like that images of the Energizer Bunny spring to mind. But I think for every writer, this is a valid question. What energizes you? What fills your tank so that you are able to do the hard slogging that is required as you work on that article or manuscript?

I think for each of us the answers may be different. Personally, I know there are a variety of things that fuel my passion for writing.

Positive feedback is certainly one of them. There's something quite unique about the feeling you get when you know your words have spoken deeply into someone's life. Imagine—your thoughts and words are valued and appreciated. That's special.

A second tank filler for me is the sense of community I get when I am with other writers. Wow! These people understand me. They understand my writer's lingo, sympathize with my angst, and cheer me on my small successes.

Writers' conferences are a great way to build that sense of community and recharge your batteries for months to come. The annual Ottawa Christian Writers' Conference has been doing that for me for the past number of years. This year's conference is on April 7th. Details can be found on the Word Guild website: https://thewordguild.com/ottawa/

Finally, as Christian writers we undoubtedly draw inspiration from our Lord and Saviour. As we draw near to Him, our calling and vision becomes clear. In worship and prayer we find the great Source—the eternal Source that gives meaning and purpose to all our writing.

With the celebration of our Lord's great sacrifice drawing near, let's all spend some time drawing close to Him. He's the true energizer. I don't know about you, but from time to time I need a jolt of that resurrection energy.

David Kitz is an Ottawa-based writer and Bible dramatist. His Passion of Christ novel The Soldier Who Killed a King was voted the top book in biblical fiction by the Interviews and Reviews website.
    

Music to My Ears

Music can lull a child to sleep. Gentle tunes that accompany the rocking motion in a grandmother’s or mother’s arms to soothe an upset or tired child and help her go to sleep. I have often held a child and put him to sleep while rocking and humming or singing, so I guess my voice is not too hard to bear.

While creating this post, I’m listening to soothing music, alternating piano and classical, and if I don’t fall asleep at the keyboard, you’ll hear what else I have to write. While I enjoy a wide variety of classical music, I also love many popular tunes that carry a melodic rhythm. But for resting, I want something that is gentle and relaxing and without words. 

  

I don’t remember our mother singing us to sleep but perhaps she did, or maybe my grandmother did when she lived with my parents for a few of their early years. I sang to my children at bedtime and now I sing or hum to my grandchildren when I have occasion to settle them for a nap or nighttime. Only when they’re older do they sometimes tell me to stop singing. Can’t win them all.

On a different note, my mother would say some piece of news was ‘music to her ears’ and I might be tempted to use the same expression from time to time. News I’ve long awaited, surprising news that’s happy or unexpected, but very good, might put that line in my head. This phrase is actually an idiom, I discovered. Oxford Dictionary of Idioms says that ‘music to your ears’ means “something that is very pleasant or gratifying to hear or discover.” There’s no mention of musical tones or rhythm or notes at all, just good news.

Tragic news would not be the kind we wish to hear, but news of an exceptional accomplishment, a long-awaited win or news of a new baby born to delighted parents is the kind I speak of.

Maybe we should recoin the phrase ‘music to my ears,’ but I don’t know how else I’d rephrase it. Idioms often mean something quite different than the words used in the term, but this one is easy to understand, I think. Something that’s easy to hear could ring like a melody. It might not rhyme or have a rhythm but is pleasant to take in and repeat. Like music.

As a Christian in an often difficult and sad world, the news that God loves us so much that he sent his son (John 3:16) might ring like music in our ears. Not the false words that led to betrayal. Not the cruel beating or hanging on the cross. Not the disciples running away because they’re afraid, but the act of love. That’s it — ringing like music in our ears. The gladness that comes Easter morning when we finally come out of those gloomy last days of Lent and Holy (hellish) Week. The hallelujahs ring like music in our ears.

I haven’t fallen asleep yet with the relaxing tunes floating from my speakers, but had I not been working towards the deadline of a post, I might have been tempted to turn off my computer sooner and say ‘goodnight.’ The music has been repetitive in rhythm but it is soothing, like ‘charms to soothe the savage breast,’ wrote William Congreve in The Mourning Bride, 1697. I think Shakespeare would have liked the line too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjWMeSoNOzs 

Carolyn Wilker is an author, editor, workshop leader and enjoys music. 
www.carolynwilker.ca

On our way to Uganda and Rwanda to teach about marriage & renewal - HIRD

By Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

On May 5th to 22nd, my wife Janice and I will spend three weeks in Uganda and Rwanda speaking on marriage and renewal. We will first be speaking, by invitation of Canon Medad Birungi, at the Healing for the Nations Conference in Rwentobo, Ntungamo, the site of the East Africa Revival. Last year there was 25,000 people attend this annual renewal conference.  We met Canon Medad through our good friends Pastors Giulio and Lina Gabeli of Westwood Church in Coquitlam. He came to visit our St. Simon's people at a midweek gathering held at one of our congregant's houses. After our time in Uganda, which will involve a brief safari, we will go 100 miles south to Kigali, the capital of Rwanda where we have been invited by Archbishop Emmanuel Kolini to lead a five-day marriage conference.

We will be bringing our new marriage book with us. The title for our new book is 'For Better, For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship." The book is a popular reworking of my doctoral thesis produced five years ago.

Here is an excerpt from our new book to whet your interest:

Kneeling at the communion rail with her ex-husband, Linda said to her priest, Ed, “Someday I would like to marry Lloyd again.” As Linda had said this several times before in previous sessions—and Lloyd had said the same—Ed said “Why not now?” She replied, “Sure, why not?” Everyone was thrilled that the communion unexpectedly concluded with a romantic marriage service. Linda and Lloyd had been divorced for six years before remarrying that day.[1] We will never forget that wedding celebration.  Linda and Lloyd later took part in our Strengthening Marriage Workshop, and discovered new ways to improve their relationship.

What if we told you that this book, if you put its principles into practice, would send you on a romantic adventure with your beloved? What if we told you that, by reading and applying this book, you would discover the keys to a lasting satisfying relationship?  Marriage is very important to Ed and Janice (authors of this book and organizers of the Strengthening Marriage Workshop).  We have learned much in forty years of marriage, for better and for worse at times, and want to help other couples benefit from our discoveries about how to have a lasting, fulfilling marriage.  We have made many painful mistakes in our marriage. In For Better, for Worse, we pull back the veil on our imperfect marriage and share some of our embarrassing and often humorous moments.  Authentic, non-judgmental story-telling is one of the keys to healing of relationships, especially in marriage. Too many marriages nowadays crash and burn. It doesn’t have to be that way.  Are you willing to try an experiment on how to do relationships in a whole new way?  Would you like to end the cycle of broken relationships and marriages among your family and friends? Healing can start with you. You may remember how Jesus asked the probing question “Do you want to be well?”[2] Do you want your present or future marriage to be whole and healthy?

This book is written for married couples, engaged couples, and those interested in being married one day.  Ed and Janice learned extensively about Family Systems Theory while Ed was doing his doctorate. This book integrates family and biblical wisdom about how to strengthen one’s marriage and relationships. Each of the seventeen chapters unpacks key elements of what a healthy marriage can look like. The first four chapters cover the four weeks of the Strengthening Marriage Workshop, developed during the doctoral studies.  The four-fold focus of these four weeks is on strengths, differences, conflict, and intimacy. Even if you read and apply just the first four chapters, you will gain new eyes to understand your marriage relationship in a brand new way.  Are you tired of seeing your partner with the same old eyes?  Would you like to discover who they really are, beyond the mask?

To say “for better, for worse” sounds very romantic on the wedding day. To live it out ’til death do us part is much more challenging. Many couples naively think that because of their loving feelings toward each other, they won’t face the “for worse” part. Do we have the courage to radically embrace the gift and challenge of the marriage vows “for better, for worse”? Marital joy is a deep joy that spills over into every corner of a family. Marital pain, likewise, is a deep family pain. We know of few families who have not experienced both joy and deep pain in their primary relationships. Has this been the case for your family? This book is about coming alongside people who long for more stable and satisfying marriages. Throughout the book, questions are asked that you can work on, perhaps through journalling and, at the right time, through sharing with your partner.  Thoughtful questions can take your relationship to a whole new level of intimacy.  If you even half-embrace the principles in this book, your marriage will never be the same.

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[1] Names have been changed. It was not a coincidence that our St. Simon’s North Vancouver congregation had just the day before taken a bold and costly stance for marriage. We believe that this wedding was a token of the Lord’s favour on our new adventure in which we as a congregation joined the Anglican Mission in Canada, which is covered by thirteen African Archbishops and bishops. To learn more about this journey, you are invited to read Ed’s earlier book Battle for the Soul of Canada.

[2] “Wilt Thou be made whole?” John 5:6  (kjv)