SURVIVING SELF-SABOTAGE - by Heidi McLaughlin

Curiosity can kill the cat or open the sabotage door. Strangely enough my curiosity on the golf course affirmed the sub-conscious power of self-sabotage. I’m not a great golfer but on a good day I can play a pretty decent game.  I have a dream to shoot a certain score and I know I can do it. So why hasn’t it happened?  A pattern has unfolded that forces me to look at how I actually sabotage myself from reaching my goal.  When I am at hole 15 or 16 and know that I am close to a good score, I add the numbers to see how close I am to my dream objective. I start to get it excited. Very soon the game changes and the next three holes are a disastrous Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. Target missed. Then the walk of shame.  Why do I defeat myself? Again and again!

My husband has seen my dismay and voiced my frustration: “Honey why do you check your score before the game is over. You always end up sabotaging your dream?”  I agree with him and am beginning to understand the verse in Bible that says: “The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy” (John 10:10 VOICE). Ok I know I am stretching the analogy of a golf game but I am becoming aware of this concept in many areas of life.  Perhaps a goal of writing a book, speaking to a large audience, pursuing a radio program, raising funds for a worthwhile project or opening a Day Care Centre. There is an enemy (Satan) playing dirty to steal our dreams and joy through making us believe voices of defeat and accusations that are not true:

a.         You don’t deserve this.

b.         You’re not smart or capable enough.

c.          You will never amount to anything.

d.         Why would anyone want to hear what you say or write?

e.         Who do think you are anyways?

Those negative thoughts have burned into our sub-conscious to sabotage our glorious and fulfilling future. They sneak into our soul through the trap door of fear, unworthiness and shame.  It’s important that we recognize them because they are not from God.  In Philippians 4:13 NLT it says: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”  You can do ANYTHING my friend.  The number one regret that people have is: I wish I had been more true to myself.

If you are standing on the brink of a big idea for a book or you want to take up painting, decorating, scuba diving or run a marathon. Dismiss the voices in your head and tell them:  “Oh, it’s you again.” Then step up to the plate and embrace the life that God has given you to live with passion and joy. In the second part of the John 10:10 Jesus says this: “I came to give life with joy and abundance.”

If you have children you know how much you want them to enjoy the gifts you give them. Our God is a good Father who has lavished us with gifts and abilities for our pleasure and to make a difference in this world. Let’s not allow fear or shame to defeat us, instead let’s look sabotage right in the eye and say: “Oh it’s you again” and move into your glorious future.

 Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca.

Her new book RESTLESS FOR FOR: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places will be launched July 4, 2016.