Of Blue Rugs and Other Created Things - M. Laycock

There’s a blue hooked rug beside my bed. I step down onto it each morning and each morning I think of my dad. He made the rug in 1946, just after the end of World War II. He was living on the psychiatric unit of a hospital in Germany at the time, after joining in the liberation of Bergen Belsen, one of Hitler’s notorious death camps. What he saw there made my father’s mind stop and his soul shrivel. It would be many months before he was well enough to leave the hospital. He worked on the hooked rug a little each day. It was one of the few things he brought home with him when he returned to Canada. His only surviving souvenir, it was more precious to him than the medals he received. I often wondered about that, wondered why he would hold it so close. I never asked because he didn’t like to talk about the war and very few people knew he’d spent time in a psychiatric facility. My mother warned me not to mention it when she told me where the rug had come from.

But I think the reason he prized that hand-made item was because it had been part of his healing. As his hands performed the simple act of forming bits of blue wool into a pattern on a loom, his mind began to heal, his soul began to be restored. Todd Henry, founder of Accidental Creative once said “The creative process is a daily assault on the beachhead of apathy.” I believe it can be more. I believe it can be an assault on the evil and imbalance in ourselves and in the world, a beachhead against chaos and destruction.

I believe that as we write, as we sew or knit or quilt, as we paint or sculpt or weave, we are healed, we are made more whole and we draw closer to the Divine Spirit that guides us on. We also remind ourselves and those who will read our words or enjoy our created things, that complete health, in mind, body and soul, is the state in which we were meant to live. Thus hope is breathed out, made literal in words, in blankets, in hats and paintings and all artwork, and we are all encouraged.

That process brings us joy and satisfaction because it is what we were created to do. We were created to make life better by practicing and using the gifts He has given us, whether it be to write a novel or paint a portrait or hook a rug. Creating opposes the purposes of the evil one who is set on destruction, and flows with the purposes of God.

And, as Oswald Chambers is quoted as saying: “If you agree with God’s purpose He will bring not only your conscious life, but all the deeper regions of your life which you cannot get at, into harmony.” (Oswald Chambers, from Called of God in The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers) That is true health, true holiness.

“Therefore, my dear friends ... continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” Philippians 2:12,13).

****

 Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone and also has three devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Marcia's second novel, A Tumbled Stone was recently short listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards. Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded here. Visit Marcia's website

You Probably Won't Be Sent to Egypt - Arends

Hi All - Here is my most recent Christianity Today column, dealing with the pesky question of what to do next ... when you don't know what to do next. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Carolyn

You Probably Won't Be Sent to Egypt…

But one way or another, God will point you to the place where your gifts can serve his people.

Carolyn Arends

[ posted on Christianity Today ]

Years ago, I toured as an opening act for Rich Mullins. There was something about Rich's music that stirred up people's deepest longings. I loved overhearing conversations at the autograph table; they often turned serious and urgent.

More than once, a fan asked Rich how to discern the will of God. Rich would listen, and then offer an unexpected perspective.

"I don't think finding God's plan for you has to be complicated," he'd begin. "God's will is that you love him with all your heart and soul and mind, and also that you love your neighbor as yourself. Get busy with that, and then, if God wants you to do something unusual, he'll take care of it. Say, for example, he wants you to go to Egypt." Rich would pause for a moment before flashing his trademark grin. "If that's the case, he'll provide 11 jealous brothers, and they'll sell you into slavery."

I'm not sure whether this satisfied Rich's fans, but I suspect his advice has stayed with them in the way it's haunted me. When I find myself wrestling with life decisions, I think of Rich's Egypt Principle. It makes me laugh, and then it asks me to get down to the serious business of determining which of my options allow me to best love God and other people. Such an approach usually rules out certain possibilities, while affirming (and even creating) several others.

Sometimes, once I've narrowed down my alternatives in light of the Great Commandment, the determinative "jealous brothers" do show up. A scholarship comes through at one school and not another. A job offer is escalated or rescinded. Other times, however, I'm left standing at the junction of several seemingly reasonable pathways, miserable with uncertainty. If only Rich were around to dispatch further wisdom!

Recently, in a college music department faculty meeting, the topic of discerning God's will came up. We were discussing the decisions our students face, which often include whether to pursue a music career or enter church ministry. One teacher mentioned that he asks students to attend to their experiences of consolation and desolation. They should give special consideration to the directions that most consistently produce consolation, he said, while the avenues that create desolation should be approached cautiously.

I was skeptical. If some of our students are led into music careers, desolation (rejection, obstacles, long drives in decrepit vans) will be normative. (I imagine the desolation level in church ministry is similar.) Often, the most worthwhile undertakings are the most difficult. Christians, as people of the Cross, should understand this best. Wouldn't a paradigm of consolation and desolation lead to avoiding anything challenging or unpleasant?

While I teach at one college, I'm a graduate student at another. There, only a few weeks later, I re-encountered the consolation/desolation paradigm in some coursework on Ignatian spirituality. I began to realize that I had misunderstood these terms. Consolation is understood not as happy feelings (although they can be its byproduct), but rather as that which opens us up to God and others—and quickens our pulse for the things of the kingdom. Even difficult circumstances can lead to consolation if we sense God in them. Desolation, too, is more nuanced than I imagined. It has to do with that which distracts us from our awareness of God's presence and turns us in on ourselves (whether our immediate experience of the diversion is positive or negative).

Ignatian spiritual direction reminds us that diligent attention to the movements of consolation and desolation in our own souls can help clarify which options lie within God's will. In moments of crisis, we can base our decisions both upon how we have sensed him moving, and also upon the God-given inclinations we've discovered within ourselves.

I'm not certain whether Rich Mullins was familiar with Ignatian spirituality. But I know he paid attention to the things that opened him up to God—and the things God seemed to have wired him to love—and ran headlong toward them. That's how he ended up traveling with a ragamuffin band of friends, singing songs that made people hungry to find God's will. It's also how he wound up, toward the end of his short but ferociously lived life, on a Navajo reservation, teaching music to kids.

Maybe that's why Rich could claim that loving God and others takes care of most of our discernment questions. After all, the psalmist assures us that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, he will give us the desires of our heart (Ps. 37:4). God can be trusted to teach our hearts what to desire, and to lead us—by jealous brothers, burning bushes, or quiet inclinations—to the places where our own unique giftings meet the movements of his kingdom. There we find consolation … and joy.

www.carolynarends.com

Making the Ordinary Extraordinary - Laura J. Davis

Two years ago next month, I attended a going away party for my dear friend Sue. We shared humorous stories, laughed, watched videos, looked at old pictures, wept, ate food and danced. Sue was leaving on a trip to a place I have never been to but long to see one day. Sue wanted a party because she wouldn't be seeing us for a while and she wanted us to remember her not with tears, but with laughter.

There was a mixture of both because you see, this particular "party" was a funeral.

I don't think I've ever been to a funeral where I danced and I know I've never been to a funeral where the pastor put one of those red spongy clown noses on  during his sermon. In fact, everything about this funeral broke the mould of what I have come to know and expect about funerals. But it wasn't about proper funeral etiquette, it was about the person we were honouring. You see Sue had a big personality that enveloped everyone she met. She had an outrageous sense of humour that made you love her immediately. She found the funny in everything and red clown noses were just one of those "funny" things.

So, what does this have to do with writing, you ask? Everything! When you are writing a scene that is about something ordinary - like for example - a funeral - step out of the box of the expected and twist it into something unexpected. Surprise your reader. Shock them! Give them the extraordinary.

We have a slew of events that take place in our lives where we know what is "supposed" to happen next. From graduations to weddings to funerals - there is a certain expectation of order or as I stated before "etiquette". Fortunately, as a writer you can change things and make your reader sit up and take notice. If I had written a funeral scene into a story that I'm currently working on, where at the end of the service everyone got up and danced, my readers might balk and say, "That would never happen!" Well, I'm here to say that yes it could, but only if you have clearly defined your character's personality in the first place. It has to be believable. At Sue's funeral no one was in shock at the dancing because we all knew Sue and she would have loved it.








So, create that extraordinary scene of the unexpected, but build up to it with characters that are full of personality and you will have your readers waiting to see what will happen next!

Until Next Time!

www.laurajdavis.com
www.interviewsandreviews.com

The Nitty-Gritty and End Results of Writing by Ruth Smith Meyer

Perusing my notes from several years of WRITE! Canada, my jottings had a definite effect on my reaction to the most recent books I’ve read. 

Over the years, those who attend WRITE! Canada regularly, hear various rules for writing repeated many times.  Here are a few:

• ·        Your first paragraphs need to contain a hook that will grab your readers and keep them reading through the rest of the book.

·        Choose your focus and make every paragraph move the story along.

·        Don’t go down “rabbit trails.”

·        Most of your writing should be on a grade five level so as not to lose any of your readers.

·        Your title and your book cover need attract your reader and indicate what can be expected inside the covers.

·        Edit, edit, edit—not just for grammar and spelling but to make sure the story flows in a consistent manner.

In most cases it’s wise to follow the rules, but sometimes they can be broken.  One book I recently read had no obvious “hook” in the first paragraphs.  It’s hard to judge what affect that would have had on me, had I not previously met its most charming author and seen first-hand, her enthusiastic spirit and sensed the depth of her experience of life. (But then, I am enough of a reading addict that a slow beginning doesn’t often stop me.  I’m always sure that it’s going to get better and be worth my reading.)  This book definitely was.  For starters much to this dictionary reader’s delight, it wasn’t written on a grade five level. I was elated to read words that tickled the senses and fed the spirit.  I even had to get out my dictionary for one word I hadn’t remembered reading before.  I was like an exited school-girl again, savoring a new word that I could add to my vocabulary.  It’s taken me a little longer than it usually does to read Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber because I don’t want to miss one word of it.  However it’s feeding me and giving me pleasure in a way I haven’t been gratified for some time. 

               Another book that I promised to review has been quite different.  The title and subtitle attracted me because I thought it was a subject that needed to be addressed in this day and age. I could scarcely wait to begin.  Being the eternal optimist, I kept hoping the book would come through with what the cover promised, however the text attempted to address too many side issues and never really got to the core of what I had been expecting.  Perhaps it would have been better for the author to write several books—a tribute to the life of his father, the strengths of and delight in his son, the agony of a breaking marriage, parenting as a divorced father.  It left me with a lot of questions that were never fully addressed.  I admire the author for trying to be vulnerable and honest about a difficult subject and time in his life, but it felt as though he never did come quite clean.  It made me wonder too; about the experienced people who helped edit and critique his book.  Surely they must have realized that rearranging some of the material would have improved the flow and perhaps assisted the reader to make more sense of it. In no way do I wish to be critical of the author—I would just encourage him to be more focused and honest about his feelings.  It is hard to be that vulnerable, but it will be more helpful in what he was aiming at—to be helpful to others going through the same thing.

               There are delights and pitfalls in writing—and reading.  The main purpose of writing is to get the stories out there in a way that will help other people grasp the lessons of life and absorb them into their own experience. 

Writing courses and writer’s conferences can make us much more aware of the things of which we need to be mindful. Even then, when we’re writing, we can’t always see the pitfalls clearly on our own, even with multiple reading.  That’s where friends, proof-readers and good editors and can help us. 

Living life openly and honestly and listening for the whispers of God will also be an advantage to writing in such a way that will allow readers to respond in a personal, meaningful way.

Elephants Remember by Rose McCormick Brandon

A child's tale tells the story of a tailor who stuck a pin in a baby elephant's trunk. Years passed. One day the elephant saw the man again. He filled his trunk with water and sprayed the mean tailor. The elephant had his revenge. Because elephants never forget.
Like elephants, people remember offences. When I was 15, a "friend" meanly remarked that my figure was thick in the middle and hipless, not small and curvy like hers. According to her, she had perfect proportions.
Ten or twelve years passed. I was home visiting and went shopping with my mother and aunt. As we drove through the main shopping area, my aunt pointed and said, "There's your friend."
What I saw was a massive behind waddling down the sidewalk. I laughed out loud. It gave me enormous pleasure to see what had happened to those perfect proportions. Like the elephant, I remembered the mean girl who stuck a pin in my self-esteem. My laughter, if she could've heard it, would've been like mucky water from an elephant's trunk.
I've thought of my response often. I'm not proud of it but it reminds me that I'm not so far removed from the nature of the elephant.
When someone stabs us, we never forget the pain. Our natural inclination is to strike back, or to take pleasure in the offender's pain. The desire to strike back is deeply rooted in us. But it isn't a godly response.
"Forgive those who trespass against you," Jesus said.
Does He know how hard it is to forgive?
No one knows more about forgiveness than Jesus.
What I've learned in the years since this incident is that when, with God's help, I forgive those who stick me with pins, God heals the pain of the pin - sometimes instantly, other times, gradually. Forgiveness means I don't feel the need to spray pin-prickers with the dirty water of revenge.

"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part." Matthew 6:15 The Message

Rose McCormick Brandon's new book, One Good Word Makes all the Difference is available One Good Word Makes all the Difference.

A Devoted Couple (by Peter Black)

They were our neighbours. My wife and I used to see them sitting together most days. Sometimes we’d hear them chatting quietly back and forth, and other times they’d remain side by side for long periods, not making a sound. I guess they were comfortable and content in each other’s company—obviously a devoted couple. 

The time came when they had a couple of kids. My, how they cared for them! Great parents they were, both sharing the responsibility. And work? Oh yes, they were workers alright, providing for the needs of their young family, preparing meals and feeding the little guys, and yet they arranged their schedules so that there was always one parent at home with them.

As with many of us who have raised a family, it  seemed no time at all before the youngsters began flexing wings independence. And then to our surprise, they were soon up and gone. With the freedom their empty nest gave them, the parents took occasional trips away, but it was never too long before they’d be back, enjoying each other’s company and their surroundings as usual.

And then, one day there was just one partner, sitting alone.
Alone one day, alone the next and the next . . . 

~~~

 

We missed those neighbours, a pair of mourning doves. I’m sure that one had fallen victim to a neighbourhood cat or racoon, or met with some fate or other. Whether the remaining bird was the male or female, I’m not certain. They’d been good company for us. I liked the simple musicality of their gentle mating call and soft cooing communication, which I fancied was lovey-dovey sweet nothings.

Many birds spend time around our back yard, but I think the lifelong monogamous relationship of doves is special. Their joint devotion to caring for their young mirrors that of committed, loving human couples.

I’m sure the male was our surviving dove. Day after day he appeared anxious and unsettled, shuffling restlessly along his usual perch. He’d launch himself into the air, circle a short distance, land on the old maple for several seconds, then take off and return to his perch. Shortly after, he’d go through a similar routine all over again.

I reckon he didn’t know what to do; he was mourning, lost without his mate. Grieving in silence. He didn’t make any calls or even soft cooing sounds. I felt sorry for him and reflected how some people who, having lost their life-partner, struggle with loneliness, many of them (especially men) grieving in silence—alone.

I’ve observed—and clinical studies have shown—that surviving partners who have several good connections fare better, whether family or caring friends. Although they may deeply miss their loved one and mourn, and might reminisce and talk about former good times, yet are less likely to remain stuck there.

Sharing and friendship helps them in time to move from mourning into a grieving that allows them to grow and look forward. How precious it is to have caring people in our lives, especially at a time of loss; let us not push them away in our time of grief.

Our lonely dove disappeared for a few days. And then, one morning I heard it again—that familiar soft cooing. There by his side on the old perch was a new partner. He was ready and had reached out, and another companion came alongside. He’s moving on.

Loving devotion raises my gaze . . . Heavenward.

Yours too?

~~+~~

Peter A. Black is a freelance writer in Southwestern Ontario, and is author of “Parables from the Pond” – a children's / family book (mildly educational, inspirational in orientation, character reinforcing).

(Finalist -- Word Alive Press ISBN 1897373-21-X)

His inspirational column, P-Pep! appears weekly in The Guide-Advocate. His articles have appeared in 50 Plus Contact and testimony, and several newspapers in Ontario.
Peter's current book project comprises a collection of 52 column articles.
The post above has been adapted from P-Pep! column article, published August 8, 2013.

~~+~~

 

BACK TO THE GYMN--Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

When the weather is warm and sunny, I love to swim outdoors.   As a teenager, I was involved three days a week with the YMCA Flying Sharks, a junior life-saving team.  My late uncle Don Allen was a career Navy deep sea diver, sometimes finding lost Caribbean treasure.  When I first tried learning to swim at the UBC outdoor pool, it was so cold that I felt frozen stiff.  It was only when I went to the warm Okanagan Lake that my swimming breakthrough came.  I know that summer is coming to a close when outdoor swimming comes to an end.

During the summer, most gyms and weight rooms are missing many regular participants.  September is the ‘Back to the Gym’ time,  ‘Back to School’ time, ‘Back to Church’ time.  September is the time when our life rhythms reconnect.  We all need times away, times of refreshing, time of letting go.  We also need times of reconnecting, of gathering, of pressing in.  Sometimes in the summer, we can relax and feast too much.  Back to the Gym helps us refocus, restart and recalibrate our lives.

My wife Janice encouraged me to start going to the gym fourteen years ago after I was a passenger in a rear-end car accident.  I naively thought that I would become physically fit and healthy almost overnight.  Instead restoring my health has been a gradual process.  When I have striven and pushed too hard, the result has been injury and setback.  God has been teaching me that I need to be more patient with myself and my weight room renewal.  There is no quick fix.  My exercise plans often suffer from good intentions.  So many weight room friends start with the best intentions, but give in to frustration and disappointment.  It takes too long to become healthy! Before you know it, they disappear and slip back into their old patterns of inactivity.

My encouragement this September for those reading this article is to not give up when you go back to the gym.  Your health is worth it.  Your life is worth it.  You are worth it.  By your regularly working out, you will see gradual benefits that initially elude you.  Anything worth doing is worth fighting for.  Your health matters, not only to yourself, but to your spouse, your children, and your friends.  When you invest in your health, you open doors to your future.  When you invest in your health, your knees will thank you, your back will thank you, your neck will thank you.  Excessive sitting is one of the greatest curses of our post-modern culture.  What will it take this September to get back to the gym? What is holding us back in doing the right thing? Why are we often our own worst enemies when it comes to our health?  Overeating, oversitting, and overdrinking are too often eating us alive.

For the past nine years, our congregation St. Simon’s NV has been meeting at the Maplewood School Gym each Sunday.  Worshipping in a gym has reminded me that being healthy is meant to be holistic.  God wants us to be healthy in body, mind and spirit.  He wants us to be physically fit, emotionally fit and spiritually fit.  Worship is meant to be a stretching experience where we encounter God with our whole person, all our heart, soul, mind and strength.  Why am I passionate about both worship and calisthenics?  Because both are about being healthy, both are about making a difference, both are about investing in one’s future.  This fall I invite you to go back to the gym, for physical, emotional and spiritual renewal.  Make an investment that will pay lasting dividends.  Your body, mind and spirit will thank you.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector

St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver

Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)

http://stsimonschurch.ca

-an article for the September 2013 Deep Cove Crier

-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’

http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com

p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada

You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide

Sit. Come. Thank you. - Eleanor Shepherd

Now that my children are now in their thirties and forties, it is time for the next generation to step in and continue my education. It starts young. My granddaughter, Sanna is nearly two, and her vocabulary is increasing every day.  If find that the words she uses remind me of important principles I need to remember.

One of Sanna's first words was, "Sit."  The first time I heard her use the word, we had taken her out for lunch with a friend who was visiting.  She was in her highchair at St. Hubert BarBQ enjoying her chicken fingers.  My husband was making sure everyone had what they needed: napkins, straws, and all the essentials.  Sanna patted the bench beside her and said, "Sit, Gammpa!"  She would not stop until Glen took his place beside her and joined her in eating his meal.  Her two words were a reminder to use our opportunities to stop and enjoy the time we have with those we love.  Although we might busy ourselves doing things for them, we need to offer them our presence, sitting with them and enjoying their company.

Sanna offered her invitation to sit with her one morning, as I dropped off something at her home on my way to work.  As soon as I walked into the living room, she ran to me holding out Barnyard Dance and patting the sof ordering me to, "Sit!"  with her and read. How I was tempted to let my responsibilities go and take the time to read to her, especially when it is one of my favourite activities.  However, I knew that I had to go to work.  I promised that I would return later to read to her.  She reminded me that when we cannot immediately take the time to be with those we love, we can put it on our agenda so we do not neglect the things that are important.  Thank you Sanna for reminding me that I need to plan sometimes to take time to sit with you and sometimes just to do it spontaneously.

Another powerful word Sanna has added to her vocabulary is, "Come."  This is accompanied by a gesture where she puts her hand out in front of her with the palm up and waves her fingers towards herself, to the accompaniment of her invitation to, "Come, come!"  Usually she wants to show me something.  Sometimes she wants me to take her where she wants to go but is reluctant to venture out on her own.  She wants the security of my presence as she dares to step out into a new adventure.

I find it awfully hard to resist her invitation when she waves those little fingers at me and invites me to come.  I still love adventure and to discover the world again through the eyes of a twenty-two month old, is exciting.  She wants to show me the antics of the bird in the tree just outside my window, so we can laugh together.  She wants to make friends with the dog in the elevator my neighbour is taking for a walk.  She wants to see where the path through the trees in the park is going to take us.  There are all kinds of new friends to meet and new places to go, and it is so much more fun to do this together.  Plus, new adventures are a lot less scary if someone we trust goes with us.
Sanna reminds me there is no shame in being afraid to try something alone.  In addition, the level of fun and satisfaction increase for our escapades when these are shared.  Thank you little girl for this reminder.
Sanna is learning three languages: English, French and Swedish.  She knows that as adults, different people have mastered these, so she tries to accomodate to us.  When we give her something, she will often reply, "Merci!"  If we fail to react to that, she will switch and say, "Tank you."  In her own limited way, she seeks to respond to others in a way that is appropriate to them.  What a great reminder this is to me that I need to try to do the same.  I cannot expect that everyone will see the world as I do.  As a writer, I need to try and use words that help others understand what I want to say in a way that is meaningful to them.  Communicating in a way that is appropriate and respectful of others is useful in all areas of life.  What a good lesson from a toddler!

Although her vocabulary may be small, it is powerful.  In using her words, Sanna  helps me remember important principles.  Sit. Come. Thank you. These will take her a long way.  Together we can learn to put them into practice.                    

 http://emshepherd.blogspot.ca/

Word Guild Award
2011

Word Guild Award
2009

COURAGE -- Alan Reynolds

           
One of the most amazing things about people is the way some have the capacity to rise above their circumstances, even when life is hard.

True, some people, like Lot's wife, tend to look back in bitterness. But there are those triumphant others who smile through their tears, who pick up the broken pieces of a shattered life and start to work with them again -- and often make of those broken pieces something beautiful and even joyful.

         She lost her spouse after thirty years of reasonably happy marriage, and life became a nightmare. Life was empty, food tasteless, sleep difficult, and waking each morning something she'd rather not do. Even God seemed gone. Yet she got up each morning, put on her best face, and stepped out to meet the world. It took courage, incredible courage. No one but her closest friends knew the grief that was in her heart, the tears she shed when no one was around.

         He lost his job, after twenty-five years with the same company. Fifty years of age, too young to retire, he faced the prospect of finding other employment, the discouragement, day-after-day, being told, "Your qualifications don't fit our requirements." But now, there he is -- in the park with his granddaughter, pushing the swing, sitting close on the teeter-totter to balance her lighter weight, making a little girl happy while her mother is at work.

         Or, there is the woman who has so desperately desired marriage and children, but now has had to realize, as the years slip by, that she may never have what she has so much desired -- no partner with whom to face life's storms or share life's pleasure, no children to bear and to hold, to love and care for. She could grow bitter. But how often she accepts the reality and plays the hand life has given her with grace and even joy!

 It is amazing how some people, when life turns hard and bitter, continue to find joy in living -- in the beauty of their garden, in the laughter of their grandchildren, in music, painting, friendship, volunteering, or faith in God.

All of them, all of us, find courage to get through the really hard times, the times that seem to wring us completely dry, until we hurt. But maybe God allows us to be wrung to bring out the courage He has put in us. The courage that gives us what we need to help others in their difficult times. And no matter what happens God gives us the courage to face each day, each moment, to keep going forward, keep looking up.

Be Strong and courageous. do not be afraid  do not be discouraged; for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. 

                                                      Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Friendship is . . . and a lot more/MANN

Friendship is precious. As a senior, I've said goodbye to many friends over the years through death, moving or mental health. Memories and stories are an important dimension of friendship, even in loss. When I want to remember my grandfather, I think of fishing with him. Just to look at Grandpa’s picture and notice his suit, or the pattern on his tie isn't enough. Appreciating the backdrop in his picture, even if it’s beautiful scenery, doesn't really do much for appreciating him as a person. Without a personal connection to the picture, it remains just that—a picture. It’s only when the tie triggers a memory of him taking it off one Sunday afternoon and putting it on the dog’s neck for me to paint a picture. Or perhaps remembering Grandpa’s suit usually wrinkled because he hung the pants by the belt-loop, rather than taking Grandma’s consistent reminder to fold them over a hanger.

Friendship is always changing. This is not to mean we intentionally set one friend aside to accept another one, but that the ingredients of forgiveness, tolerance, acceptance and understanding are forever growing and developing. Different attitudes, awareness, growth and understanding of issues can tax friendship and it’s a gift to one another to be honest and able to explore them in discussion. Both friends can gain new understandings through this trust.

Friendship is challenging. It’s important not to attempt to clone another person to be like ones self. Celebrating another’s depth of character, different theological stand, or gift of awareness can add to our own understanding of life and everyday issues. It’s kind to remember that one friend is not expected to meet all the needs of another, nor is it a mutual responsibility to always provide happiness.

Friendship is being truthful. It knows what experience or newly discovered world-changing information is only for self to soak up and not meant for sharing, should it seem preachy or self-righteous. Sometimes, it’s all about tone of voice.

Friendship is noticing. Knowing what's important to another person, to affirm and encourage where you find some common ground is important. We don't have to make a list, just be aware of what plays another’s heartstrings. It also means we don’t have to touch on that which is uncomfortable to us. It does not have to hear a mutual recognition that we’re connected to what’s important; it’s being able to extend a caring approach into someone else’s life.

As Henri Nouwen so eloquently says, “. . . we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

My father had the profound experience of having a rather refined gentle man as a friend, drawn together probably only because their wives were related. Perhaps that makes the friend's remark even more honourable, "I know Charlie, and like him anyway."

Blessings,

Donna

http://www.donnamann.org