John G Lake: Healing Rooms Founder - HIRD

By Rev. Dr. Ed & Janice Hird

By Rev. Dr Ed and Janice Hird

What if most of the people in your family died from incurable illnesses? Born in St Mary’s Ontario in 1870, John G Lake with his family moved to Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan in 1886.  Eight of his siblings died, despite the best care from medical doctors. This family tragedy inspired Lake to seek the healing power of Jesus Christ.  After Lake was healed in Chicago from a digestive disease, his whole family went from chronic sickness to supernatural health.  His invalid brother got up and walked after healing prayer, his hemorrhaging sister was healed, his mother was restored at the brink of death, and his wife was cured from tuberculosis.  Upon being filled with the Holy Spirit in 1907, Lake said: “My nature became so sensitized that I could lay hands on any man or woman and tell what organ was diseased, and to what extent.”  Rev Audrey Mabley of Eternally Yours TV describes John G Lake, a fellow Canadian, as the greatest man of faith for healing that perhaps has ever lived.  For the first nine months after being touched by the Holy Spirit, Lake could not look at the trees without it framing itself into a glory poem of praise: “Everything I said was a stream of poetry.”

Feeling a call in 1908 from God, John G Lake and Thomas Hezmalhalch decided to take a ship to South Africa with their large families.  Being sure that God would provide, they arrived with the clothes on their back and not enough money to enter the country. While they were waiting in line at customs, a stranger gave them enough money to pay their way into the country. The family were unexpectedly greeted in Johannesburg by Mrs C.L. Goodenough, offering a furnished cottage to American missionaries with exactly seven children. The only way that Lake could describe the anointing that fell on him while in South Africa was as ‘liquid fire’ pumping through his veins.  Lake believed that the power of God is equal to every emergency.  The well-known South African author Andrew Murray commented of Lake: “The man reveals more of God than any other man in Africa.”  Mahatma Gandhi notably said: “Dr Lake’s teachings will eventually be accepted by the entire world.”  So many people were healed in South Africa that Lake was brought by Arthur Ingram, the Bishop of London and Chaplain to the Archbishop of Canterbury, to address a Church of England conference. Bishop Ingram said of Lake’s Triune Salvation talk: “this is the greatest sermon I have ever heard, and I commend its careful study by every priest.” Out of this healing revival was birthed the Apostolic Faith Mission in Southern Africa, a movement now numbering 1.2 million people.  Sadly, on December 22nd 1908, while Lake was ministering in the Kalahari Desert, his wife Jenny died from malnutrition and exhaustion.  She had been feeding countless poor sick people on her front lawn, while waiting for Lake to return.

Feeling a call to Spokane, Washington, Lake left South Africa, and then married Florence Switzer, having five more children. In 1915, he began the Spokane Divine Healing Institute, later called the Healing Rooms, training up ‘healing technicians. His instructions to them were to go to the home of a sick person and not come back until that person was healed.  Some might be gone for an hour, some a day, and some for weeks. Lake commented: “We pray until we are satisfied in our souls that the work is complete. This is where people blunder. They will pray for a day or two, and then they quit.”  Having previously been a manager for a life insurance company, his extensive business experience caused many business people to be more open to the gospel. Lake commented: “If there was one thing that I wish I could do for the people of Spokane, it would be to teach them to pray.”  In Spokane alone, 100,000 healings had been documented and recorded within just five years.  Dr Ruthlidge, of Washington DC, said that Rev Lake, through the Healing Rooms, made Spokane the healthiest city in the nation. This Spokane Blessing even spread back to Lake’s Canadian homeland.  A 32-year-old Canadian, William Bernard, had been suffering from curvature of the spine, since being dropped by his nurse at age 3. When Bernard said that he had no faith, John G Lake laughingly said: “I have enough faith for both of us.” After his spine was healed, two physicians certified him as fit for military service. Bernard commented: “I’ve always longed to give my service to my country of Canada.”

Lake fearlessly submitted to a series of experiments at a well-known research clinic where they watched him through x-rays & microscopes in a laboratory context as he successfully prayed for elimination of leg inflammation in a dying man. He called the Healing Rooms the most amazing adventure in the world.  The Spokane Better Business Bureau investigated the healings, giving Lake and the Healing Rooms an opportunity to vindicate themselves by presenting numerous local healings with Spokane residents.  Most of the cases where people were healed were ones that physicians had pronounced hopeless. One such case involved the healing of a 35-year-old woman from a 30-pound fibroid tumour in her abdomen. The tumour was completely gone after just three minutes of prayer. Even the Mayor of Spokane publicly celebrated the Healing Rooms’ measurable health impact on Spokane. Lake commented of the Healing Rooms: “The lightnings of Jesus heals men by its flash; sin dissolves, disease flees when the power of God approaches.”

Thanks to Healing Rooms International Director Cal Pierce’s redigging of the wells in Spokane in 1999, there are now 2961 Healing Rooms in 69 countries around the world. According to Tiny Marais, Director for the Greater Vancouver Healing Rooms, the Healing Rooms teams at the recent Missions Fest Conference prayed for over 230 people: “We saw the hand of God on everyone we prayed for.”  Today John G Lake’s life, through the Healing Rooms revival, still impacts millions of lives around the world.

Rev. Dr. Ed & Janice Hird

Co-authors of ForBetter, For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship

 -an article previously published in the Light Magazine covering BC and Alberta

On our way to Uganda and Rwanda to teach about marriage & renewal - HIRD

By Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

On May 5th to 22nd, my wife Janice and I will spend three weeks in Uganda and Rwanda speaking on marriage and renewal. We will first be speaking, by invitation of Canon Medad Birungi, at the Healing for the Nations Conference in Rwentobo, Ntungamo, the site of the East Africa Revival. Last year there was 25,000 people attend this annual renewal conference.  We met Canon Medad through our good friends Pastors Giulio and Lina Gabeli of Westwood Church in Coquitlam. He came to visit our St. Simon's people at a midweek gathering held at one of our congregant's houses. After our time in Uganda, which will involve a brief safari, we will go 100 miles south to Kigali, the capital of Rwanda where we have been invited by Archbishop Emmanuel Kolini to lead a five-day marriage conference.

We will be bringing our new marriage book with us. The title for our new book is 'For Better, For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship." The book is a popular reworking of my doctoral thesis produced five years ago.

Here is an excerpt from our new book to whet your interest:

Kneeling at the communion rail with her ex-husband, Linda said to her priest, Ed, “Someday I would like to marry Lloyd again.” As Linda had said this several times before in previous sessions—and Lloyd had said the same—Ed said “Why not now?” She replied, “Sure, why not?” Everyone was thrilled that the communion unexpectedly concluded with a romantic marriage service. Linda and Lloyd had been divorced for six years before remarrying that day.[1] We will never forget that wedding celebration.  Linda and Lloyd later took part in our Strengthening Marriage Workshop, and discovered new ways to improve their relationship.

What if we told you that this book, if you put its principles into practice, would send you on a romantic adventure with your beloved? What if we told you that, by reading and applying this book, you would discover the keys to a lasting satisfying relationship?  Marriage is very important to Ed and Janice (authors of this book and organizers of the Strengthening Marriage Workshop).  We have learned much in forty years of marriage, for better and for worse at times, and want to help other couples benefit from our discoveries about how to have a lasting, fulfilling marriage.  We have made many painful mistakes in our marriage. In For Better, for Worse, we pull back the veil on our imperfect marriage and share some of our embarrassing and often humorous moments.  Authentic, non-judgmental story-telling is one of the keys to healing of relationships, especially in marriage. Too many marriages nowadays crash and burn. It doesn’t have to be that way.  Are you willing to try an experiment on how to do relationships in a whole new way?  Would you like to end the cycle of broken relationships and marriages among your family and friends? Healing can start with you. You may remember how Jesus asked the probing question “Do you want to be well?”[2] Do you want your present or future marriage to be whole and healthy?

This book is written for married couples, engaged couples, and those interested in being married one day.  Ed and Janice learned extensively about Family Systems Theory while Ed was doing his doctorate. This book integrates family and biblical wisdom about how to strengthen one’s marriage and relationships. Each of the seventeen chapters unpacks key elements of what a healthy marriage can look like. The first four chapters cover the four weeks of the Strengthening Marriage Workshop, developed during the doctoral studies.  The four-fold focus of these four weeks is on strengths, differences, conflict, and intimacy. Even if you read and apply just the first four chapters, you will gain new eyes to understand your marriage relationship in a brand new way.  Are you tired of seeing your partner with the same old eyes?  Would you like to discover who they really are, beyond the mask?

To say “for better, for worse” sounds very romantic on the wedding day. To live it out ’til death do us part is much more challenging. Many couples naively think that because of their loving feelings toward each other, they won’t face the “for worse” part. Do we have the courage to radically embrace the gift and challenge of the marriage vows “for better, for worse”? Marital joy is a deep joy that spills over into every corner of a family. Marital pain, likewise, is a deep family pain. We know of few families who have not experienced both joy and deep pain in their primary relationships. Has this been the case for your family? This book is about coming alongside people who long for more stable and satisfying marriages. Throughout the book, questions are asked that you can work on, perhaps through journalling and, at the right time, through sharing with your partner.  Thoughtful questions can take your relationship to a whole new level of intimacy.  If you even half-embrace the principles in this book, your marriage will never be the same.

---

[1] Names have been changed. It was not a coincidence that our St. Simon’s North Vancouver congregation had just the day before taken a bold and costly stance for marriage. We believe that this wedding was a token of the Lord’s favour on our new adventure in which we as a congregation joined the Anglican Mission in Canada, which is covered by thirteen African Archbishops and bishops. To learn more about this journey, you are invited to read Ed’s earlier book Battle for the Soul of Canada.

[2] “Wilt Thou be made whole?” John 5:6  (kjv)

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Our forgiving Lord expects us to be forgiving toward others—to pass on the forgiveness we have freely received from Him.

There is something deeply therapeutic about forgiveness. We can see that in this verse from the Psalms: The LORD forgives our sins, heals us when we are sick, and protects us from death (Psalm 103:3-4, CEV).

Forgiveness and healing are linked. Before Jesus healed the paralytic, who was lowered down through the roof  he forgave his sins. Jesus asked, "Is it easier for me to tell this crippled man that his sins are forgiven or to tell him to get up and walk?"

Jesus answered his own question with these words, “Get up! Pick up your mat and go on home.” And the man responded by doing just that. You can read the full story in Matthew 9:1-8.

River of Healing — Photo courtesy of Donald Adam

James, the brother of our Lord, writes, "If you have sinned, you should tell each other what you have done. Then you can pray for one another and be healed. The prayer of an innocent person is powerful, and it can help a lot" (James 5:16, CEV).

I do full dramatizations of the Epistle of James and about ten years ago I was invited to present James in Kingston. All went very well and I returned to Ottawa with a feeling of satisfaction. 

A few weeks later I got a call from the church administrator who reported that a miraculous healing had taken place due to my dramatization of James. (I can't take credit for any healing. Only God can do that.)

Apparently, a young woman in the congregation had been plagued by the crippling effects of rheumatoid arthritis. Upon hearing the message of James, she was gripped by the urgent need to forgive her abusive father. 

As she released forgiveness to her father, healing was released into her body. Her health was completely restored.

Forgiveness is a Garden of Healing — Photo courtesy of Matthew Taylor

Forgiveness is the Lord's prescription for ailments of body, soul and spirit.

Writing Life Ramblings – Biographical Ruminations (Peter Black)

Writing biographical pieces without your subjects’ knowledge and permission can be a precarious thing. You can never be certain beforehand whether your subjects would approve or disapprove, or like or dislike what you say about them. There’s potential for ruptured relationships . . . hmm, or even a lawsuit.

An author may be somewhat visionary and might extrapolate future outcomes based on trends and data, but is hardly a seer per se. This introduces another aspect of biographical writing that can be rather unsettling for the author.

Have you ever written about a contemporary individual in positive, affirmative terms, but later felt let down, disappointed, or more than a little peeved, when the person later fell far short of the glowing word portrait you’d painted?

I’ve had that experience—but rarely, and have more often been tremendously encouraged to find otherwise. A recent case was of a trucker I met and conversed with, in 2009 at a Christian retreat.

Courtesy: en.wikipedia.org

Shortly after, I wrote a column article of the encounter, in which I shared some of the personal testimony that the fellow recounted to me of his healing and how he came to Christ. I didn’t use his name—I’d forgotten it anyway—and didn’t seek his permission. In February 2010 I posted an edition of that piece on this blog, entitled, ‘Prophets’ – of a Sort.

In 2014 I included a version of that story in the book, “Raise Your Gaze . . . Mindful Musings of a Grateful Heart.” I’d occasionally wonder whether the man was still alive and whether he was still mobile (prior to his healing he had severe back trouble and had lived with unrelenting pain).

The other matter of wondering concern was whether he had continued growing in his Christian walk of faith and trust in Jesus.



Courtesy: anglicansablaze.blogspot.com

Recently I saw him again and reintroduced myself. Now retired from trucking, he still loves to meet with His Christian brothers and sisters and sing and praise the Lord at his church. His back is still doing just fine. Although unable to drive now, since he suffers from macular degeneration, he cheerfully looks to God for healing of that condition. I'm thrilled that he is still "pressing on the upward way."

It’s understandable that writers who create fictional characters and the ‘lives’ they ‘live’ can feel a relational connection with them, and some even call them their babies or their kids. 

That’s different for biographers. If remaining true to the character of the individuals about whom they write and whose stories (or portions thereof that) they tell, it’s different. Biographers neither create the characters nor the circumstances in which they live their lives.

In some instances when writing a living person’s story I may begin the process already having a personal relationship with the individual. That may deepen during the process of working through the elements based on the information available, but the individual is neither my baby nor my creation, although I may rightfully regard the work produced as such.

Although I’ve had cause to grieve when learning that one of my subjects has followed a course that casts  a shadow over the earlier portrait, my recent encounter with the former trucker encourages me to not give up on painting word pictures featuring people’s real life-experiences.

He continues along the course of life that raised my gaze to give thanks to God for His gracious working in the man’s life. Redemption in action—gaze-raising joy. And that's something worth writing about!

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Peter's second book is a compilation of inspirational articles on a variety of themes from his weekly column. These are interspersed with brief expressions intended to encourage. Ebook edition is now available through Amazon.

 

ISBN: 978-0-9920074-2-3 (Angel Hope Publishing)

Email
Blog 

 

Peter's first book: “Parables from the Pond” – a children's / family book (mildly educational, inspirational in orientation, character reinforcing). Finalist – Word Alive Press. ISBN: 1897373-21-X. The book has found a place in various settings with a readership ranging from kids to senior adults.

Black's inspirational column, P-Pep! appears weekly in The Guide-Advocate (of Southwestern Ontario). His articles have appeared in 50 Plus Contact and testimony, and several newspapers in Ontario.

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Restoring Health through Medicine and Prayer -HIRD

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

 

In December 1980, I lost my voice for eighteen months due to Spasmodic Dysphonia.  My GP told me that I would never preach again.  My father-in-law the Rev Dave Cline, at the time, was the Order of St Luke the Physician (OSL) Warden for BC and Yukon.  Desperation led me to join OSL where I devoured every book that I could find on healing.  I particularly appreciated the insights I gained from filling out the OSL study guide on Jesus’ healing miracles.  Later I even became an OSL Chaplain.  On May 25th 1982, I had successful throat surgery and was able to speak again.  During the surgery, I had a twenty-four hour prayer vigil.  Healing prayer and healing medicine belong together.  Every three months, I have Botox treatments that help maintain my voice.

 

Every time I preach is a miracle.  My goal is to be like the tenth leper who came back and gave thanks.  During the eighteen months of voice loss, I read sixty books on speaking and writing.  God birthed a passion for writing and communication during my darkest time.  I realized that even without a voice, I still had much to say.  My ‘voice’, particularly about healing and wholeness, was meant to be heard.  Since that time, I have written over four hundred and fifty newspaper articles and have recently published my sequel book ‘Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit’ on Titus.  Many people don’t realize that the book of Titus is Paul’s health instruction manual to unhealthy pirates.  The book of Titus gives us the keys to healthy churches, healthy families and healthy lives.  Paul’s key emphasis to Titus again and again was holistic health/soundness: healthy faith, healthy doctrine, healthy love, and healthy endurance.  Health for Paul was not just physical.  Paul insisted on health in every area of Titus’s life as he impacted the Cretans.  The very Greek word for both health and soundness is ‘hygiaino’ ὑγιαίνω from which we get the modern term ‘hygiene’.  Many people do not realize that soundness and health are the same biblical concept.  When a heart is healthy, the doctor says that it is sound.  The book of Titus was not merely about healthy/sound doctrine.  Health for Paul was holistic, embracing our whole life in body, mind and spirit.

Over the years, I learned that the healing ministry needs to be integrated into regular Sunday morning worship, not just put in a midweek corner for the few.  I will never forget the night that Lee Grady, former Editor of Charisma Magazine, prophesied about St. Simon’s North Vancouver being a well-spring of healing with healing teams being raised up for body, soul and spirit restoration.  Every worship service at St. Simon’s, whether traditional or contemporary, has a team ready to pray for healing.  Keith Bird, OSL Canada editor, said that Restoring Health “presents to us ‘modern-day pirates’ a challenge for becoming whole in body, mind and spirit.  I didn’t want to put it down.”  Imagine how wellsprings of holistic healing, Titus communities throughout Canada, might revolutionize our toxic Canadian pirate culture.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector 
http://edhird.com 

St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
http://stsimonschurch.ca  

-an article for the December issue of the Order of St Luke the Physician Canada newsletter ‘The Canadian Healer’.

On Safari . . . (Peter Black)

It was about 34 years since we’d been to African Lion Safari at Rockton, Ontario. That was when my wife and I were still a young couple and our sons were youngsters. We recently made a long-overdue visit there. This time we went as senior citizens, with a busload of peers. The place is much more developed now, with more family fun amenities, such as a water play park, pontoon boat rides and miniature train rides.

What a great day! I thoroughly enjoyed being “on safari” – the easy way – in the safety and comfort of an air-conditioned bus, complete with interesting driver commentary. We marvelled at massive elephants and rhinos and bison, took snapshots of lazing lions and cheetahs, and gazed at lofty giraffes and lowly wildebeest. Grandmas Oohed and Ahhed at dozens of cute baby deer. Grandpas marvelled at the aerial speed and grace of birds of prey.

Even better was that we saw old friends and met new ones. Among the new were Don and Bev, who live in the Hamilton area. Bev, an outgoing person, sparkled with joy. Don, while quieter, is warm and friendly. The couple shared with me an amazing story of Bev’s descent into a complex debilitating illness and her journey – really, it was their journey – back to health.

In 1995 a variety of disturbing physiological symptoms began to affect Bev’s health, advancing at an alarming rate throughout her body. Imagine her shock and dismay when she – a very active person – began to experience arthritic symptoms and pain that rapidly escalated in severity. Several persistent organic symptoms emerged, including gastrointestinal difficulties, affecting her stomach and digestive system. Breathing became difficult, and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) was diagnosed. Neurological abnormalities emerged also. It appeared as though there was an all-out assault on her body. More was to come, as intense pain coursed through her eyes, affecting her vision.

Bev consulted various doctors, and was referred to specialists, resulting in a battery of tests, including testing for MS (Multiple Sclerosis). Thankfully, that one proved negative. The prospect of going completely blind, however, was horrifying. Tests confirmed glaucoma and another eye condition; both were treated. She was medicated for the lung condition, but eventually required to use a wheelchair, since she had insufficient breath and strength to walk. Her physician advised her to get her house in order; that she should prepare for the eventuality of dying.

Don stood firm with her in the midst of this vortex of mystifying disease, as did friends from their church. Bev maintained her trust in the Lord Jesus. While she still had sufficient sight she wrote down scriptures of encouragement and thoughts that lifted her spirits and kept her focused. Fortunately, the extreme pressure in her eyes lowered, and she was assured that God was with her in this journey – that she wasn’t in that dark tunnel alone, for the Lord was her light.

One day Bev sat in her wheel chair at church. A guest preacher prayed for her, then asked her to come to the platform. Instantly, strength and healing coursed through her body and she virtually trotted to the steps and up she went. Other symptoms soon left her. Several people who witnessed her amazing healing at that service were on our Safari and could attest to the transformation that occurred initially and that continued until her recovery was complete.

May Bev’s story of God’s mercy encourage us to raise our gaze heavenward in the midst of our struggles, of whatever kind they be.

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Peter A. Black is a freelance writer in Southwestern Ontario, and is author of “Parables from the Pond” – 

a children's / family book (mildly educational, inspirational in orientation, character reinforcing).

 (Finalist -- Word Alive Press ISBN 1897373-21-X )

His inspirational column, P-Pep! appears weekly in The Guide-Advocate. His articles have appeared in 50 Plus Contact and testimony, and several newspapers in Ontario.

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The Medical Benefits of Prayer -HIRD

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird  

Many of us put prayer in one category, and medicine in a totally separate category.  What if they could work together to help people become healthier?  There are a few misguided people who have suggested that we should only rely on prayer, and not go to medical doctors.  They forget that two of the books of the Bible were written by a medical doctor, St. Luke the Physician.  Luke included many specific medical terms in the Gospel of Luke and the Book of Acts.  Other people think that with advances in medical science that prayer is no longer relevant.  Both attitudes are short-sighted.  When we are battling serious and potentially life-threatening diseases, we need all the resources working together for our healing.

                Many churches regularly pray for those who are sick.  At St. Simon’s NV, we often give thanks for answered prayer, particularly in the area of healing in body, mind or spirit.  Healing prayer is mysterious in its effect.  In recent years, there have been a number of studies on the effects of healing prayer.  Dr. Candy Brown wrote a ground-breaking book entitled “Testing Prayer” which gave preliminary indications that there is a measurable impact in healing prayer.  Her research involved the ethnographic approaches of participant-observation, written surveys and oral interviews, clinical measurements and statistical tests, and narrative analysis and archival research.  Dr. Brown’s team of researchers used audiometers and vision charts to test hearing and vision before and after times of healing prayer.  Many but not all participants in healing prayer showed significant improved function in the post-prayer diagnostic tests.  Dr. Brown suggested that the empirically observable effect deserves more research and followup, involving larger-scale more-refined clinical trials of the effects of healing prayer.

               Science cannot prove why healing prayer works, but it can measure its effects in helpful ways.  The founder of Christianity, Jesus, was consistently involved in teaching, preaching and healing the sick.  His early followers regularly participated in healing prayer.  For over two thousand years, healing prayers have been offered up for those in need.  It is encouraging that careful research is being done, indicating that healing prayer makes an empirical difference.  My expectation over the next number of years is that many more scientific tests will be done, that will teach us a lot more about the empirical nature of healing prayer.

                Through decades of healing prayer, I have seen many people transformed in body, mind or spirit.  My prayer for those reading this article is that many of us will see similar breakthroughs in our areas of need.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector

BSW, MDiv, DMin

St. Simon’s Church, North Vancouver

Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)

http://stsimonschurch.ca

-an article for the July 2013 Deep Cove Crier

-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’

http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com

p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada

You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide

But Now I See - Austin

I've had a growing conviction that I need to share my thanks about my journey with eyesight issues. I can't make claims of strong faith at any point in this journey. But I can and do claim God's faithfulness and celebrate His goodness.

For those of you familiar with the book, "A Second Cup of Hot Apple Cider", the article "Active Surrender" shares an earlier part of this journey.

A poem I wrote in the early stages of healing, while still largely afraid to hope, looks at the world through the eyes of Bartimeous, blind for more than 40 years until healed by Jesus. I became increasingly interested in his story as my own eyesight failed.

Life changed for me. I gave up on most reading, one of my deepest loves. The headaches and exhaustion cost more than the rewards gave back. Visual distortion would often increase. Twice I drove to work with everything distorted. I couldn't tell if the cars I met were one or three, tail-gating each other. Those were both days I was scheduled to work alone. The store would not have opened If I did not get there. But I deserved to lose my license on the spot and I knew it. Headaches became a constant. Anything less than four hours of dull aching made it a good day. I resigned my job at the Bible Book Store. I was guessing too often when I took people's money. It was no longer fair to the store or to their customers. I began trying to teach myself Braille.

My driving became increasingly restricted. I refocused slowly at different distances. I could manage for about five minutes. That let me drive from our home to our daughters in Durham. For eight months I could not make the 15-minute drive to church. I had served on the Board of Directors of the Canadian Mental Health Association, but could no longer drive back and forth for their meetings.

I tried hard to make the best of things. Many people live with blindness and live well. Surely I could learn to do the same. But it's easier to talk about it than to actually prepare yourself emotionally for blindness. At every doctor's appointment -- and it seemed there were many as we searched for answers -- I expected: "This is they day they're going to pull my license."

There's a strange and almost pathetic comfort in a name. The first diagnosis boiled down to too little blood flow to the inner core of the brain. A handy excuse. But like a lot of excuses, this one started to wear thin before long.

I learned to compensate and I bluffed well. Most people would not have guessed I was nearly blind. I could not recognize people half way across the church. I struggled to tell the difference between a nickle and a quarter.

I wasn't secretive, but tried not to dwell on vision loss -- tried to not let it be part of every conversation. Most people did not know I had given up hope of improvement. I had prayed for healing. Others had prayed for my healing. But I lived with progressive loss. My biggest hope was to delay further loss, to maintain enough vision to still recognize my wife, my grandchildren. Even that hope was getting shaky.

I was booked to see a Neurologist. I verbalized the right prayers, but I'd quit believing healing was part of God's plan for me. I'd requested this appointment, but my real expectation was to be told I was wasting my time and his. Blindness was coming. Learn to live with it. I was sure the doctor would be more tactful than to word it that way, but that would be the message. I was also almost fully convinced that was the day I'd finally lose my driver's license.

Have you ever tried to plant a seed in hard-packed, stony ground? I went to that appointment with a stew of emotions. A young man from our church, a close friend of our youngest daughter and her husband -- had just died. A personal friend had just won a publishing contract. Triumph and tragedy had come, practically embracing each other. I still trusted God. But I had quit hoping for healing. I saw no room for that hope any more.

I came away from that appointment still holding a valid driver's license. I came away with a prescription for a drug for Myasthenia Gravis (more specifically Ocular Myasthenia). I thought it was simply a shot in the dark. The doctor warned the drug would be nasty to get used to. He must have slipped a tiny, dry seed-pod of hope in there somewhere. I think it fell into a crack in that hard-packed ground. I wouldn't -- couldn't let myself believe in it.

But life hides in dry seed-pods.

I don't know when the seed germinated. I don't know when the sprout broke through the stony surface. I know the first three weeks on Mestinon took already cruel headaches and made them brutal. I know I spouted off more than once that if someone would just dig the grave, I'd go lie down in it. Then the doctor upped the dose and all the side-effects happened again. But after about four weeks on the higher dose, I began to see details I hadn't seen for years. Distortion was still there. Much of the time I saw three images of the same thing, but just maybe, new glasses could improve that. Hope started to grow in spite of me. The headaches tapered off and have now decreased by more than 90%.

I don't know when, at my wife's suggestion, I asked Pastor Jason to anoint me. It was more an act of respect to my wife than anything else. There were at least six years of prayer for my eyesight behind by this time. I believe in God! I believe in healing! I believe in miracles! There just didn't seem any indication God had that in mind for me. Yet my mind has gone back so many times to that little act. I'm hesitant to even call it an act of obedience, unless it's my wife's obedience to a nudging she received. I find it fascinating that many of the healings recorded in the New Testament depend on third-party faith and obedience more than the faith of the person healed. I've never felt abandoned by God through this journey. But my faith in His healing has been pretty small.

The first time I drove all the way to church -- 15 minutes -- proved a landmark. To do so without scaring myself or my wife? That's something to celebrate.

With vision still distorted, but much more consistent, cataract surgery sounded almost pointless. But a specialized lens gave some possibility of improving an eye nearly blind. I don't buy lottery tickets, but this seemed like a gamble worth trying. Again, I did not let myself hope strongly. I watched the gray fog change to blue fog during the surgery itself, but other than more colour, the biggest difference was my glasses drove me crazy now. Four days later, with glasses off, I found myself reading regular print -- fuzzy but possible.

Just before my surgery, my right eye could make out the top line only (the bill-board size) on the eye chart. My right eye is now my dominant eye. New glasses, tri-focals, are still proving a challenge. But I can see. I can read. I can drive.

My five minute drives had to be in good light, with as few distractions as possible. Even a light rain on the windshield tipped the balance, making me know I was unsafe behind the wheel. Now, though I don't enjoy it, I can drive with confidence at night in heavy rain. Some distortion remains and may continue for the rest of my life. If I allow myself to become overtired I can expect times of pronounced visual distortion. But those times don't last, and they don't come with endless headaches. I can recognize people across our church. I can see the faces of my wife and my granchildren. And once again a good book is a delight.

Do I call it a miracle? I really don't know. Am I thankful for medical professionals? You bet. Do I acknowledge God's involvement and thank Him? Over and over and over again.


Because this post is already rather long, I'll forgive any of you who choose not to read this poem -- but I'll confess that poetry still taps a core of my nature as an author that prose can't reach.

Bartimeous

Blindness -- they call it a curse

But they scarcely know the whisper of wind in the treetops.

They hear but half of a bird's song.

They run from the soft kiss of a summer shower.

Ah, there is much in their world I cannot see.

Yet they, with eyes wide open rush blindly through.

Much I've missed. Much they take for granted.

I've never gazed on infant's face,

never seen the blush of a flower.

But can they plumb the depths of an orange blossom's smell?

Can they number the nestlings from the chirps

where that sparrow nests -- just over there?

I hear the whisper of a falling leaf.

I know the footfall of each who makes this village their home.

So much I know that they've never seen.

Blindness -- they call it a curse -- God's judgment.

But is God so petty?

He gave other senses, more alive than any around me.

Were this His curse would He have so blessed in other ways?

Many the ills He's blamed for.

Those who too often tip the bottle or roll the dice

rage at God when hunger torments their little ones.

Are they, who rob the very children God has blessed them with,

less cursed than me?

Blindness -- it leaves a man almost helpless in this world;

begging a crust

that these stumbling feet should find their dark pathway for one more day.

But. . . there is a teacher, a wonder-worker some say.

Impossible, the things He's done.

Lepers clean? Cripples walking?

Dare I believe it so?

Even -- hard to imagine -- Nay! I will not speak it.

What kind of world do we live in, if the dead get up and walk?

What world when cripples dance and deaf men hear?

When the dumb speak?

What kind of world

when the leper is made fresh and clean as a child?

What can even a blind begger depend on

if graves give up their dead?

The priest who "blesses" me each morning with a kick,

bringing "God's righteous judgment,"

has no use for such a world.

He scorns this healer; scorns to share alms with me,

yet willingly shares his hatred.

His world I understand.

His the message of all my years.

But this healer? Who is He?

Dare I hope for His touch?

A crowd approaches.

I hear the noise, smell the dust.

And. . .

I hear the Name.

His Name!

From the shadows I've cried all my years,

begged a few coins while avoiding trampling feet.

But today let me come before Him.

For that I'll dare anything.

What will it mean?

What are the colours of a rainbow?

He calls?

Truly?

For me?

Knees in the dirt?

For once it feels. . . right.

"Lord,

that I might receive my sight."

Copyright Brian C. Austin