Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Powerful Three Letter Word-by Heidi McLaughlin

It’s difficult for me to ask for anything. After all I was raised in a German family where my father helped me build character by telling me to “figure it out.” I didn’t have Google and YouTube to guide me through unknown minefields so I learned to become self-reliant and resilient. 

My first husband taught me to use words and “ask” when I wanted him to vacuum or help out in the kitchen after dinner. It was a magical revelation that saved me lots of frustration and angst. But, I always thought if someone loved you enough they would just know that you need help; why should you have to ask?

The Bible tells us to ask: “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it” (John 14: 14).  I will never fully fathom the depth of God’s love for me or understand the mystery of prayer.

But if God loves me so much, can’t He just read my thoughts and make it happen?

In the last two months after the sudden death of my beloved second husband, my self-reliance and “figure it out” belief flew out the window.  I needed help with my raw and fragmented life. I had to learn to ask.

“God please help me find someone to shovel my driveway.” God sent a mysterious angel and then a young man who shovelled my driveway all winter.

“God, where is that beeping noise coming from and how do I make it stop?’  God led me to the thermostat that needed new batteries.

“God, please heal my flu so that I can get me onto that plane this Christmas.” God nudged me that I needed to go to the Emergency Ward to discover that it wasn’t just the flu. God sent neighbours, friends and a great Doctor to uncover a more serious health condition that needed to be resolved quickly.

“God, how am I going to start cooking alone in this kitchen?” God sent a friend to stay with me for 3 days to help me organize some meals and renew my desire to create my own meals.

I asked and asked and asked.

“God, how do I find this? How do I fix this?  God help me figure this out.” I still don’t understand why I have to ask, but I know that I do.  Maybe He is trying to teach me that He has the whole world at my disposal, but like a huge bank account, He doesn’t want me to spend it all at once. Maybe He wants me to trust Him so that He can unleash my life in the way He designed me in my mother’s womb. Maybe, He wants me to let go of my stubborn, prideful self-reliance and learn to relax in His perfect plan for me life. 

In this lifetime I will probably never understand why I have to ask.  But I’m glad I do, because I know the One who holds the answers.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.
Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at;, or her website:


Peter Black said...

Heidi, thank you for your vulnerability and generosity in sharing from the inside track of your current journey. Hmm, it can be a challenge to overcome the human tendency to muddle through instead of exercising humility and demonstrating dependency upon our Father God by taking our concerns to Him in prayer, moment by moment. May you receive continuing comfort and care in the days and months ahead. ~~+~~

Glynis said...

"But if God loves me so much, can’t He just read my thoughts and make it happen?"

Heidi, you took the words right out of my life! I am pretty 'self reliant' (aka stubborn) when it comes to asking for help. But what insight you have offered today. So very true about how God instructs us in His Word, to ask. So many times it is written! Actually about 119 times if Miss Google is correct. :)

I have lots of stories about how actually asking changed my life - although I will admit, I still struggle with it sometimes.

Thanks for these profound words of encouragement and I am glad that you have some beautiful people stepping in to answer your 'asks'. x

Ruth Smith Meyer said...

I've had two husbands leave me through death as you have. I've had to learn how to ask, too. I'd rather do it myself, but there are times when I can't and I have to ask. There are times that I use up a lot of energy before I'm willing to do it, but I'm still learning. It's comforting to know that others struggle with it too. I've thought a lot about you since the death of your husband because I feel a connection through our circumstances.

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