Let me rephrase that. I have absolutely nothing to say that anyone would want to hear.
In fact, everything I might say at the moment would be totally depressing and negative.
It’s been one of those weeks.
I find when I’ve been busy for a while (read “overdone it”) and I get tired (read “absolutely exhausted”), I tend to move into a state of semi-depression (read “burnout”). All of a sudden, the liquid in the glass, which is normally neither half-full nor half-empty, but just enough, moves definitely to the meagre side, and the rose-tinted glasses have a decidedly blue cast.
Some of it is the afore-mentioned overdoing it and tiredness; but part, I think, is the confusion of this busy world and a lack of control on my part. And the inability to be doing what I really want to do – write a great book.
Top ten things that are out of control for me this week and explain why I can’t write anything:
10. We’ve discovered the company we thought was going to help us develop a great marketing plan for my book this fall doesn’t seem to have one. Not one that we can put our hearts behind, anyway. Maybe we were expecting too much. Not sure. Anyway, it’s depressing since we still need to find a way to move these books!
9. Son number 3 is camping in
8. Son number 4 got back at 4:30 AM this morning from
6. Then I started a really well-written book, and went, “Why bother trying to write anything when there are already writers like this?”
5. I’m on several listservs, which I try to read, though I don’t often post. What I want to know is this: How come everyone else has editors, agents and contracts just falling out of the blue for them? What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I know the right people?
4. I emailed another writer and asked it she wanted to talk. She replied that she was wondering why she ever tried to write in the first place. I totally agreed with her (meaning me, not her.) We decided we need to talk. Maybe two negatives can make one positive?
3. Son number 2 just told me he’s going to
2. Last Monday, my new book was actually up in the 100,000s on Amazon. Why, I don’t know. They must have sold a few copies. Excitement. But since then, every day it’s dropped, and is now at 600,000 something. Oh well. Maybe someday I’ll get one in the 10,000s. Can’t imagine being in the top 100 sellers. Okay, that’s really depressing. I can’t imagine how one would do that without a big-time publishing house behind you. And for that you need the agent, the editor, the whole bit. Or at least a plan for marketing. See number 10.
1. And the top reason I have nothing to write about? Every morning, I wake up with a different idea buzzing through my mind. Every newspaper I read, every song I hear, every person I talk to, every email I get…gives me more ideas until my brain is overwhelmed. Every idea is screaming “Me, Me, Me!” until I have to cover my ears and my mind and either fall asleep or escape into a really good book (see reasons 7 and 8).
Hmm. the really good book I want to escape into is the one I'm supposed to be writing. Except I’m having trouble finding anything to write about just now…