Celebrating the Gift of Family - HIRD

By the Rev. Dr. Ed and Janice Hird

We fell in love forty years ago, and have never looked back.  With three adult sons and two grandchildren, we are so grateful for the gift of family.  This past summer has been a time of family reunions for many of us.   We deeply appreciated the opportunities to hang out with our family members, particularly those who live far away. 

Most families are complicated and messy.  Reconnecting with our family members during the summer can be challenging for many people.  Setting boundaries with people that we love is never easy.  Saying no to our family members, even when necessary, can sometimes be really hard. Even Jesus, who was never unloving, had problems at times with his family.  He said that sometimes there would be painful division even within our families.  Jesus said that family cannot be the ultimate, but rather a penultimate very high priority.  He said that if we sought first God’s kingdom, then everything would go better, including our relationships with our family.  

One time Jesus was so involved with helping people that he did not have time to eat.  This so upset his family and friends that they decided that he must be out of his mind.  In some cultures, skipping a family meal is almost unforgivable.  Eating three square meals a day is on the same level for some families as following the Ten Commandments or the Golden Rule.  Because there was such a large crowd, his mother and brothers could not even reach Jesus.  You can imagine how their anxiety level would have been spiking.

In the midst of family anxiety, Jesus had a very clear idea of who he was and what he was called to do.  This gave him the courage to say no to his family, when they were trying to stop his important work.  He said the shocking phrase: “Who is my mother?  And who are my brothers?”  If we said that with our families, they would not likely be pleased.   They might say back to us, “What are you talking about, Ed and Janice?  We are your family.  We were there at your wedding thirty-eight years ago.”  Jesus went on to memorably say “ My family, my mother , brothers and sisters are those who do the Father’s will”.  Family for Jesus is bigger than just the physical nuclear family.  Jesus dearly loved his nuclear family, but he had to remind them that even our family cannot come first in our lives.   This is not an easy lesson to learn, because we love our families so dearly.   Our prayer for those reading this article is that we may learn to celebrate the gift of family in a way that still allows us the freedom to say no, to set healthy boundaries.

The Rev. Dr. Ed and Janice Hird

St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver

Anglican Mission in Canada

-author of Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit 

Should kids fall asleep in front of the screen? - Denyse O'Leary

Here’s a story from the days before the Internet: One of my kids seemed pretty tired, day after day, and I thought I’d better ask her, do you think this is a problem?

It turned out that—contrary to my advice—she had gone to a friend’s home after school and seen Nightmare on Elm Street, a film featuring an undead movie ghoul who preyed on children in their sleep.

So she was afraid to fall asleep. It showed.

I wasn’t clear what to do about the problem, but decided to try making fun of it: I invented “Nightmare on the Danforth” (a district we lived in, in Toronto (Canada), known for its off-season fruit and vegetable shops).

I said, let me tell you about the rabid cherry tomatoes that assault people on the street here and wreck their clothes by raining tomato juice. Then there’s this giant cucumber, see … and he … And then the TURNIPS!!! TURNIPS!!! 9-11 LETHAL ATTACK TURNIPS!!!

Well, my strategy did have the intended effect. The kid laughed the scare off.

Seriously, though, the question of how kids are affected by what they see jst before they go to sleep is worth considering, as Sarah Loughran at the University of Wollongong notes: [A 2014 review found consistent evidence that sleep was hampered by screen time, primarily in relation to shortened sleep duration and a delay in the timing of sleep. The latter finding was reported in 90% of the studies reviewed.] Part of this is a mere timing issue: [These negative impacts on sleep can be due to screen time in the evening cutting into the time that children would normally be preparing for bed and sleeping, delaying sleep onset and reducing the overall duration of sleep. There is simply less time available for it. But also,

… exciting video games, dramatic or scary television shows, or even stimulating phone conversations can engage the brain and lead to the release of hormones such as adrenaline. This can in turn make it more difficult to fall asleep or maintain sleep. More.

So the ghoul Freddy’s creators were onto something before their time.

That said, every electronic device has an OFF button. And we should always remember that the late Steve Jobs, Apple genius, was a low tech parent. And so is much of Silicon Valley. Sure, they sell it, but they don’t always buy it.

Because it’s not a good thing for a kid to know some screen artefact better than his own neighbours.

See also:

The unreal, unhealthy world kids can see online That parents may never have heard of.

Can smartphones make children borderline autistic? What about teens?

Denyse O’Leary is a Canadian journalist, author, and blogger.

The Risky Business of Forgiveness by Rose McCormick Brandon

Rose McCormick Brandon

Gayle Haggard and her husband, Ted, started a church in the basement of their home. Twenty years later, the church met in a massive auditorium that held 14,000. Ted Haggard was charming, hard-working and caring. But he had a secret. Same-sex desires haunted him. At age 7, an employee of his father’s molested Ted. Not in a violent way, but in a way that interfered with his innocence. A sin was committed against Ted. And that sin led to sins in his adult life that ultimately destroyed his ministry at the mega-church and almost destroyed his marriage.

As a married man in love with his wife, Ted struggled with same-sex attraction. Eventually, he gave in to these temptations. Ted allowed his childhood secret to lead him into a secret  adult life. (It bears noting that many childhood victims of sex crimes do not let crimes against them lead to crimes against God and others.) Ted's other life went undetected until the day a masseuse went public with allegations against him. Gayle, the mother of their five children and the women’s ministry pastor in her husband’s church, laughed when she first heard the accusations. It couldn’t be. Not Ted, her college sweetheart, the man she’d devoted her life to.

Forced into the public eye, Ted’s denials fell apart. In tears, he admitted his sin, to Gayle, to his children and to his staff. It would be an understatement to say that Gayle’s world fell apart. Reporters camped outside their home. Friends forsook them. They had to leave their church, their home and, for a while, their state.

Ted advised Gayle to divorce him. “I’m too toxic for you and the kids,” he said.

Gayle stayed. “I stayed with Ted because commitment means something to me. I’ve committed my life to God which means that I’ve chosen his ways and I follow his example of love and forgiveness. I’m committed to our marriage, to stay in this journey till death do us part. I am committed to our children and I want to restore honor and dignity to their lives.”

Gayle Haggard

When I started reading Gayle’s story, Why I Stayed, I couldn’t imagine why any woman would stay with a deceiver like Ted Haggard. But . . . when I learned about the seven year-old who was molested, I thought - God sees clear-through people. He knows us thoroughly. He doesn’t see us as adults who should know better, He sees the wounded child within.

Christians don't condone Ted's sin. But we can’t help thinking of the woman caught in the act of adultery -   how humiliated she must have been – men circling her, getting ready to stone her. Then Jesus came along. (John 8)

“What do you say her punishment should be?” asked the stoners.

Jesus took his sweet time answering. The woman waited in fear. The men gathered more stones.

Finally, Jesus said, “I say that the person among you who has never committed a sin should be the first one to cast a stone at her."

Silence.

Rocks tumbled to the ground as first the older men and then the younger remembered their sins.

Only Jesus and the woman remained.

“All my accusers have left,” she whispered.

Jesus looked at her and said, “It’s time for you  to go home too - but no more adultery.”

And that’s how it is for Ted Haggard. He’s back home. No more betraying his God, or his wife. (She hopes. We hope. And God hopes.) Not surprisingly, the media ridiculed Gayle for “standing by her man.”

People who live in darkness are often blinded by grace. 

Gayle writes, “Ted gave me the gift of repentasce, and he chose, as I did, to heal our marriage. I know that not all men choose to do that.” She encourages people, as much as they are able, to forgive and love those who have sinned againt them. This is Christ’s path.

Not every sinner accepts forgiveness. Some will forsake their God, their spouses and their families. For these situations, there can still be healing for the wounded ones left behind  but not healing for the relationship, not in the present at least. Reconciliation takes two.

Gayle’s story taught me that I must be slow, very slow, to give up on people, eager to forgive and always hopeful for a better life for those who stray from God. I’ve strayed myself. And I must never forget that. When I do forget it, I’m no better than the self-righteous stoners.

“Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:13-14)

Forgiveness is a risky business. The end product isn’t always neat. And the process can be painful. But Jesus has promised to support us from the beginning to the end of the forgiveness journey.

***

Rose McCormick Brandon is the author of four books, including One Good Word Makes all the Difference and Promises of Home - Stories of Canada's British Home Children. Visit her website at: writingfromtheheart.webs.com and read her blogs Promises of Home and Listening to my Hair Grow.

Humble Sanctuary (Peter A. Black)

A red-brick building sits atop a small hill, its lines clean and true. A graceful square tower rises, affording the place some prominence. That prominence however, is somewhat diminished, since trees on either side of the lot, while much younger than the building, are now mature and challenge the tower in reaching towards the sky.
 

It was the first time I’d ever set eyes on that building. Once I’d parked the car I stepped out and glanced around, advanced toward the white-painted door then pressed the latch and pulled the handle. The door opened just like I’d been told it should.

This admitted me into a small vestibule. Several strides took me into the auditorium where I stood on a red runner. The interior is plain and its dark brown furnishings old and modest.

I could further describe this rural church building and its interior – it dates well back into the 1800s, but there’s nothing remarkable about it. Oh, I had nostalgic moments when seeing the old pump organ, yet didn’t indulge my strong inclination to check it out as to whether it was in playing condition. Who was I to touch? And there was no one to ask.

A second visit had me overcoming that resistance, so I briefly tried the instrument and discovered, not surprisingly, that it is unplayable; it’s in need of considerable restoration. How I would love to tackle that job myself. Thirty-eight years have passed since I restored a vintage pump organ. That project turned out well, and I’m sure this one could again be made to sing God’s praises.

Since that first visit I’ve occasionally retreated to that place to read and pray and meditate. Within its walls I’ve also sketched out rough notes for sermons, when preparing for upcoming pulpit supply ministry stints. Initial ideas for two newspaper articles were conceived there, too. 

That humble Anglican sanctuary, situated a short country drive from where I live, no longer hosts regular services, but is maintained by faithful souls whose heritage reaches back generations, as indicated by memorial stones in the adjacent cemetery. Two services, held annually, garner donations to help provide funds for maintenance.

 

The Church of Jesus Christ, however, is not a material building. It is comprised of people redeemed through the sacrifice of Himself that He made on the cross twenty centuries ago – people who appropriate in faith what was accomplished for them there.

The apostle Peter wrote: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers but with the precious blood of Christ . . .”; “. . . like living stones, [you] are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:18-19; 2:5; bold font added).

 

Also, Paul wrote, “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands” (Acts 17:24). Elsewhere he explains that as Christian Believers our lives are temples of the Holy Spirit.

The following beloved hymn speaks to that truth:

There is a Place of Quiet Rest

There is a place of quiet rest
Near to the heart of God.
A place where sin cannot molest
Near to the heart of God.

(Refrain:)
O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the heart of God,
Hold us who wait before Thee
Near to the heart of God.

There is a place of comfort sweet
Near to the heart of God.
A place where we our Savior meet
Near to the heart of God.

There is a place of full release
Near to the heart of God.
A place where all is joy and peace
Near to the heart of God.

(by Cleland B/ McAfee, 1906 PD)

Nevertheless, places dedicated to the worship and service of God, such as that humble ‘not-quite-abandoned’ country edifice, afford sanctuary – space for spiritual retreat. I’m grateful for this place of quiet sanctuary, where I can temporarily escape to raise my gaze Godward, away from clamouring distractions, to focus on Him.
~~+~~

The above piece was adapted from an article in Black's weekly column, P-Pep! published in The Watford Guide-Advocate, July 23, 2015.

~~+~~

 

Peter's second book is a compilation of inspirational articles on a variety of themes from his weekly column. These are interspersed with brief expressions intended to encourage. Ebook edition is now available through Amazon.

 

ISBN: 978-0-9920074-2-3 (Angel Hope Publishing)

Email
Blog 

 

Peter's first book: “Parables from the Pond” – a children's / family book (mildly educational, inspirational in orientation, character reinforcing). Finalist – Word Alive Press. ISBN: 1897373-21-X. The book has found a place in various settings with a readership ranging from kids to senior adults.Black's inspirational column, P-Pep! appears weekly in The Guide-Advocate (of Southwestern Ontario). His articles have appeared in 50 Plus Contact and testimony, and several newspapers in Ontario.

~~+~~

 

 

 

 

Love You Forever - Eleanor Shepherd

One of my favourite books is Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.  Obviously I am not unique, as apparently this children’s book has enjoyed great sales among older adults, as a proportion of the 15,000,000 copies that have sold.  Like so many other creative endeavours that touch our hearts, the writing of this book is the fruit of suffering.  On his website, Robert Munsch tells how the theme song of the book came to him:

“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”

Robert Munsch and his wife had two babies who were born dead and as he grieved the loss of them this song took shape in his mind.  It was in his head, but he could not sing it because every time he tried, he ended up crying.  One day he had the idea to write a story around the song and that is how Love You Forever was created.

Today I am heading out on the train to visit my son, who lives in another city.  I will only be with him for twenty-four hours, but I want to make myself useful to him.  His life is complicated by his quadriplegia, so I can offer him my hands to do some of the things that are challenging for him to do.  He is now in his forties, but as long as he is living my baby he will be.

On Saturday, my daughter called to check in and see how things were going.  While she was on the phone with me, her three year old daughter wanted to talk to Grandma.  When we chatted she told me what she was doing, and asked what I was up to.  I asked her if she would like to come and spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa.  Without hesitation, she asked her Mommy if she could come.

Mommy pointed out that if she came she would have to miss the puppet show that was being held at a street fair near their home.  She decided she would rather be with Grandma and Grandpa than go to the puppet show.  I could not wait to see her.  Of course, we had to rearrange our schedule a little, but what joy to be able to do so.  Besides I could give her parents the gift of a few hours free of the constant supervision required of little children.  For both my daughter and my granddaughter, as long as I’m living, my babies they will be.

Although they are my babies, I have discovered in recent years that my children have also become dear friends.  They are now both capable adults and have less need of instruction or advice from us.  In fact, they are able to offer us some good advice and instructions about hardware and soft wear that are sometimes a mystery to us.  The special bond that we have with them is one of our most valuable gifts.  They know us better than anyone, aware of our strengths and our weaknesses still they love us. This is why, when my granddaughter was just an infant, I made sure that my daughter had a copy of Love You Forever.  Generation to generation the love flows on, starting from the source of all love, God, our loving Heavenly Father.      

Word Guild Award
2009

Word Guild Award
2011 

 

Surprise in Substitution by Donna Mann

Going camping. First check the weather report and then the freezer. Yes, it’s a go. But what if a low pressure system moves in, the temperatures drop, the sun hides behind cloud cover that leaks enough water to keep your rain barrel full about every two hours.  Besides the cloud cover disables the television and the internet – so what else is left? Lots!

Such was our experience this past week.  Just happened to have four good hockey biographies for Doug, watched three movies, and I read and edited my 43K inspirational novel. God bless the weatherm’am. We did a 120 degree turn and had three days of quality time: quietness, peace and good camp food. Even the cat had us all to herself.

Not all circumstances can be turned into something as positive as the above situation. Nor do we always just happen to have the necessary alternatives to compensate for that which we had planned.  Being resourceful helps, looking for the positive side is a good effort and being ready to make lemonade out of lemons is a gift.

Rather than having the opportunity to take lots of pictures of a shining lake, sunny beach and a blue sky with white fluffy clouds floating by, we settled for seeing the beauty in lily pads, a walk between showers and early to bed- early to rise kind of schedule.

So what was substituted and exchanged in this situation for the expected? Perhaps attitude, activities and adjustments. Not all was lost, for what we never had to begin with cannot be compared with what we gained in the long run. This parable gave itself life in day-to-day living. And it’s nice to watch it happen, especially if you’re the one living through it.

Blessings,

D.

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am (Phil 4:11).”   

Donnamann.org for upcoming news