My Love/Dislike Relationship With Christmas-by Heidi McLaughlin

I’m not a Scrooge. If you drive by my house you will see the Christmas swag on my front door and planters filled with decorations. I love sitting in a beautifully decorated restaurant and sharing stories and a meal with friends. I gasp with delight at the festive city streets canopied with twinkling lights and banners.  Then at dusk you will see my house blazing with outside Christmas lights.

What you won’t see is me walking through the mall laden with bags and boxes.  I haven’t bought wrapping paper or bows for umpteen years because our family keeps re-using and re-gifting.  That is the part of Christmas that hurts my heart and I’m trying not to dislike. The money and time spent to buy the perfect present that says: “I love you.”  Or the extravagant guilt gift that says: “Sorry, I didn't take you to Mexico with me.”

I’ve been trying to simplify Christmas for years, and even though it gets a little better each year, I still want to put a smile on someone’s face on Christmas morning. But after spending two weeks in Romania my heart has once again been wrecked, yearning for simplicity. The landscape and poverty of Romania took me back to my growing up years in Prince George.  Christmas was about going to church on Christmas Eve and hoping for the brown paper that held the classic mandarin orange,  candy cane and the hard rock candies. Waiting for a pair of skates to show up under the Christmas tree was all I could think about for weeks.If Santa didn’t bring it I would never have it.  Those were the years where things we needed came in a box with simple paper and a bow.

Having both my husbands die before Christmas also takes the holly, jolly out of the season.  It’s hard to sing, “Rudolph the red nosed reindeer” when all I want to sing is “Silent Night, all is calm all is bright.” I want to take time to reflect what actually happened that “silent night” to bring forth a Christ child that would change our lives and world forever.  Have we lost Him in our hurried distractions and endless lists to create the perfect Christmas? 

Yes, Christmas is the most magical time of the year. With the softly falling snow, twinkling lights and candy cane lattes, expectations are high for the perfect Christmas morning. But lets not get jaded when the t-shirt is too small, the ear buds are not right, or the Star War figure is the wrong one.   After all Christmas is not about the perfect gift or Bűche de Noël, it’s about the simplest and hardest gift ever given…Love.  How will you wrap up love this Christmas?

I’m still trying to find my place in Christmas.  After being in Romania and still grieving my beloved Jack, I am so grateful for the love of my family.  I’ll be sitting and sipping by the fire with my children and grandchildren.  Putting together a 1000 piece puzzle and playing Apples to Apples is our family’s default button.  This year we will be in Montana where the snow is magical and sledding is free. I hope in the midst of the wonderful noise and clutter, I will be able to find all that is “calm and bright” and receive the free gift and love of Christ. My heart is full of wonderful expectation.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

Day by Day the 'MillieWay' (by Peter Black)

A tiny cottage nestles in the woods on a country road, with little more than the basic services of electricity and a land phone. The lady of the house pretty much takes care of herself and day-to-day chores with a little help from her son, who calls by from time to time to ensure she is OK.

Not Millie's Cottage
Courtesy: Google free

Not only is her home tiny, she’s tiny, too. Obviously frail, she weighs in at well under one hundred pounds. The actual number doesn’t even match her age – ninety-eight! Suggestions that she should move into town don’t receive much of a hearing from her. And her friends’ statements of concern that, “it’s so lonely and remote out here,” don’t gain any traction at all.
  

Millie reminds me that physical frailty doesn’t necessarily equate to either weakness of character or of spirit. This tiny titan has character and spirit in abundance. Her stalwart independence was developed throughout her life’s journey, meeting challenges and disappointments, bereavements and losses along the way.

Not Millie: IStock Photo

However, her independence represents only one side:

~ She lives alone, but is not lonely.

~ She is frail and weak, yet she is strong.

~ Her means are modest, yet she abounds in the richness of contentment.

Here’s the other side: Many decades ago Millie committed her life to the Lord Jesus. He is to her a close and constant companion.

Importantly, she didn’t get stuck on the periphery of the Christian life, but journeyed along that pathway, exercising dependence on God’s grace, growing in faith and in her relationship with the Lord. Reading the biblical scriptures and meditating on their implications and significance for her life, while keeping daily prayer appointments with God and serving others in His name – these have given her sustaining power.

This indomitable soul has faced her todays with gratitude and grace, despite whatever her yesterdays might have brought. And now Millie continues facing her tomorrows in readiness of spirit. She’s homeward bound to be with Jesus, her Lord and Saviour, while continuing house-bound in her tiny cottage in the woods, journeying on into this—another New Year, with hope and peace, joy and love. . . . And contentment.

Contentment – what a great quality!

Hopes, dreams, aspirations and ambitions, and even discontentment might be OK, if well-placed and well-focused; they can occupy an appropriate, beneficial place in our lives.

Of course, unless these desires and motivations are honourable and others-oriented and we go about fulfilling them by honourable means, such urges may consume us with a soul-destroying selfish obsession. Unchecked, they can leave a trail of ruined lives, broken relationships and families, violence and crime and murder, and even become amplified as feuding communities and countries at war.

But this isn’t so with folks like Millie and friends of hers I’ve come to know. Regardless of whether people are financially poor or wealthy, they can be either intensely selfish and discontented, or selfless and truly contented.

Let US journey on into the New Year, balancing contentment and ambition the “Millie way.” It was Apostle Paul’s way, too – content and ambitious at the same time. He says:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 1:6-8 NIV). 

And, “. . . one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13b-14 NIV).

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Peter A. Black lives in Southwestern Ontario. He writes a weekly inspirational newspaper column, P-Pep! and is author of Raise Your Gaze ... Mindful Musings of a Grateful Heart, and Parables from the Pond.
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