My Love/Dislike Relationship With Christmas-by Heidi McLaughlin

I’m not a Scrooge. If you drive by my house you will see the Christmas swag on my front door and planters filled with decorations. I love sitting in a beautifully decorated restaurant and sharing stories and a meal with friends. I gasp with delight at the festive city streets canopied with twinkling lights and banners.  Then at dusk you will see my house blazing with outside Christmas lights.

What you won’t see is me walking through the mall laden with bags and boxes.  I haven’t bought wrapping paper or bows for umpteen years because our family keeps re-using and re-gifting.  That is the part of Christmas that hurts my heart and I’m trying not to dislike. The money and time spent to buy the perfect present that says: “I love you.”  Or the extravagant guilt gift that says: “Sorry, I didn't take you to Mexico with me.”

I’ve been trying to simplify Christmas for years, and even though it gets a little better each year, I still want to put a smile on someone’s face on Christmas morning. But after spending two weeks in Romania my heart has once again been wrecked, yearning for simplicity. The landscape and poverty of Romania took me back to my growing up years in Prince George.  Christmas was about going to church on Christmas Eve and hoping for the brown paper that held the classic mandarin orange,  candy cane and the hard rock candies. Waiting for a pair of skates to show up under the Christmas tree was all I could think about for weeks.If Santa didn’t bring it I would never have it.  Those were the years where things we needed came in a box with simple paper and a bow.

Having both my husbands die before Christmas also takes the holly, jolly out of the season.  It’s hard to sing, “Rudolph the red nosed reindeer” when all I want to sing is “Silent Night, all is calm all is bright.” I want to take time to reflect what actually happened that “silent night” to bring forth a Christ child that would change our lives and world forever.  Have we lost Him in our hurried distractions and endless lists to create the perfect Christmas? 

Yes, Christmas is the most magical time of the year. With the softly falling snow, twinkling lights and candy cane lattes, expectations are high for the perfect Christmas morning. But lets not get jaded when the t-shirt is too small, the ear buds are not right, or the Star War figure is the wrong one.   After all Christmas is not about the perfect gift or Bűche de Noël, it’s about the simplest and hardest gift ever given…Love.  How will you wrap up love this Christmas?

I’m still trying to find my place in Christmas.  After being in Romania and still grieving my beloved Jack, I am so grateful for the love of my family.  I’ll be sitting and sipping by the fire with my children and grandchildren.  Putting together a 1000 piece puzzle and playing Apples to Apples is our family’s default button.  This year we will be in Montana where the snow is magical and sledding is free. I hope in the midst of the wonderful noise and clutter, I will be able to find all that is “calm and bright” and receive the free gift and love of Christ. My heart is full of wonderful expectation.

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

5 Smart Things You Can Do-by Heidi McLaughlin

Remember the days of Christmas tinsel? Many young uns put tinsel in the same category as the olden days of VHS and Pac Man. But tinsel holds a special place in my heart. In our home the execution of tinsel was the flagship of Christmas because the end result was a sparkly and magnificent tree.  No more than three or four strands on the end of each branch, and if you don’t have the patience for that; well then go and finish your apple cider.

            But we had a dog. A big dog named Brutus!  I can’t recall the many times we came home from an event to find our magnificent tree on the floor. A tangled mess of bulbs, candy canes, lights and oh the tangled tinsel. Trying to untangle tinsel left our family frustrated and snapping at each other.  “Who left the dog on the house anyway?” “Who is going to clean up this mess?” “Come on you guys, everyone has to help!” I’m finally grateful that generation outgrew tinsel, but now we have other Christmas frustrations: busyness, distractions, expectations and perhaps disappointment and sadness.  I believe over the last number of years we have lost our way to what Christmas is all about. What can we do to uphold the sanctity and beauty of this blessed season? None of us want a tangled mess so here are 5 smart things we can all do for a superb Christmas.

1.         Be different. Years ago I broke status quo and stopped sending Christmas letters. Instead, I do a Valentines letter and stay in touch with people throughout the year. Also, when Jack and I go away at Christmas we don’t decorate the house. No decorations! Nothing, nada, nichts.

2.         Lower your expectations.  That sounds negative but in fact it’s very freeing.  Think about this.  In the 1950’s and 1960’s most people didn’t decorate their homes or put up a tree until about two weeks before Christmas.  We have 23 days in the month of December to shop, decorate, send cards, entertain, attend banquets, bake ten different things, concerts, theatre productions, Christmas lunches, dinner and more.  It’s impossible to do everything Pinterest style. So pick your favourites and let the rest go.

3.         Reduce your gift list. Please let’s be honest. None of us need anything.  So why do we agonize and spend money on something that will end up in someone’ closet, drawer or garage?  Most likely they will want the sales slip so that they can exchange it because it “wasn’t the right thing or size.” Showing an act of kindness or a personalized card will have more lasting meaning and express your love.

4.         Rehearse a good story.  Christmas means spending time with people that have the potential to frustrate and make you angry and ruin your perfect holiday. The Bible tells us to: “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right” (Philippians 4:8 NLT). Set your mind on showing and expressing love in spite of what happens.  But you need to prepare your mind and rehearse your story.  Christ came into the world to show us how to love, and Christmas is the perfect time to put that love into action.

5.         Pursue contentment and joy.  If you make a deliberate choice to enjoy the Christmas season, your actions will follow. For years I prayed for contentment and asked God to help me simplify Christmas. I wanted to experience the JOY that Christ came to give us. When Christ was born the angels sang out: “Peace on earth and goodwill toward all men.”  But this doesn’t just happen we need to pursue it.

            I know we all want the kind of Christmas that will give us precious memories for years to come. If we keep Christmas simple the pictures will be beautiful and there won’t be any messes to untangle.

     Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca