I’m not a Scrooge. If you drive by my house you will see the
Christmas swag on my front door and planters filled with decorations. I love
sitting in a beautifully decorated restaurant and sharing stories and a meal
with friends. I gasp with delight at the festive city streets canopied with
twinkling lights and banners. Then at
dusk you will see my house blazing with outside Christmas lights.
What you won’t see is me walking through the mall laden with
bags and boxes. I haven’t bought
wrapping paper or bows for umpteen years because our family keeps re-using and
re-gifting. That is the part of
Christmas that hurts my heart and I’m trying not to dislike. The money and time
spent to buy the perfect present that says: “I love you.” Or the extravagant guilt gift that says:
“Sorry, I didn't take you to Mexico with me.”
I’ve been trying to simplify Christmas for years, and even
though it gets a little better each year, I still want to put a smile on
someone’s face on Christmas morning. But after spending two weeks in Romania my
heart has once again been wrecked, yearning for simplicity. The landscape and
poverty of Romania took me back to my growing up years in Prince George. Christmas was about going to church on
Christmas Eve and hoping for the brown paper that held the classic mandarin
orange, candy cane and the hard rock candies. Waiting for a pair of skates to show up under the Christmas tree was all I could think about for weeks.If Santa didn’t bring it I would never have
it. Those were the years where things we
needed came in a box with simple paper and a bow.
Having both my husbands die before Christmas also takes the
holly, jolly out of the season. It’s
hard to sing, “Rudolph the red nosed reindeer” when all I want to sing is
“Silent Night, all is calm all is bright.” I want to take time to reflect what
actually happened that “silent night” to bring forth a Christ child that would
change our lives and world forever. Have
we lost Him in our hurried distractions and endless lists to create the perfect
Christmas?
Yes, Christmas is the most magical time of the year. With
the softly falling snow, twinkling lights and candy cane lattes, expectations
are high for the perfect Christmas morning. But lets not get jaded when the
t-shirt is too small, the ear buds are not right, or the Star War figure is the
wrong one. After all Christmas is not
about the perfect gift or Bűche de Noël, it’s about the simplest and hardest
gift ever given…Love. How will you wrap
up love this Christmas?
I’m still trying to find my place in Christmas. After being in Romania and still grieving my
beloved Jack, I am so grateful for the love of my family. I’ll be sitting and sipping by the fire with
my children and grandchildren. Putting
together a 1000 piece puzzle and playing Apples to Apples is our family’s default
button. This year we will be in Montana
where the snow is magical and sledding is free. I hope in the midst of the
wonderful noise and clutter, I will be able to find all that is “calm and
bright” and receive the free gift and love of Christ. My heart is full of
wonderful expectation.
Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan
Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom
and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12
grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great
book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.
Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places
(Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca;
Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca
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9 comments:
Oh how I identify with your post! I too, am so conscious of two dear departed husbands at tis time of year, even though I'm deeply thankful for my families who support and surround me with love. Knowing how little others have makes me all the more determined to not let Christmas be about big gifts from the stores, but more about giving ourselves to each other and to live for the Christ who came for us. May you be blessed
Heidi, you so often seem to have your finger on the hot button. I too have wondered the mall looking for a gift instead of a gift card! I find tho that the Christmas's ebb and flow over the years. My family is currently in a truly blessed season. Our priorities have changed from stuff to family time. Everyone makes coming home the goal. We "all" go to church together. Every year we sing the Carol's hug and I cry at how wonderful it is for me to stand with my grown children.
I'm thinking of you my friend and sending hugs and prayers.
Susan
Thank you Heidi. I appreciate this post - a reminder to me of the challenge this season can present to those whose life partners have died. Ruth's experience parallels yours in this regard, of course. Witnessing first hand the deep poverty of others, as you have done, helps realign one's priorities in regard to this season and its meaning and application to our lives, doesn't it. Comfort, peace and joy be yours and of all whom you love. ~~+~~
Thank you Peter, yes deep grief and poverty certainly does realign priorities in a very good way. It helps us to see more clearly the things in life that have fulfilling meaning. A blessed Christmas to you and yours!
A lovely reflection on Christmas and what is truly important. It isn't easy, in this fast paced, consumerism mindset we are encouraged (bombarded) to sport. I love your challenge: How will you wrap up love this Christmas? I have been pondering!
Blessings to you for a peaceful, Jesus-filled Christmas with those whom you love!
Thank you Glynis for your loving comments. Since I've written this blog post I have had numerous women come to me and vent their frustration with all the Christmas expectations. I don't know the full answer but I do know I need to focus it more and more to Christ as the years quickly slip by. May we all find lots of love under the tree! Blessings and HUGS..Heidi
Thank you Ruth for your authentic words, they resonate deeply. Yes we both know what it is like to have an empty chair at Christmas. We are both so blessed to be surrounded by loving family. For me...that's Christmas. Tomorrow I get to fly to meet up with my daughter, son and all their children. My heart is full! May your Christmas be all about, "calm and bright!"
Blessings, Heidi
You certainly caught the essence of my heart in this blog post. Thank you. I am trying to "find my place" during this Christmas season with all the gifts and decorating. Right now I'm at zero but I know I need to move away from there. It is the love of my family and friends that is the greatest gift this season, AND knowing that one day I will meet up again with my beloved Jack and also my first husband. And so many other members of the family. We do have a glorious hope that starts with a tiny baby. It's so hard to grasp, isn't it? Have a blessed Christmas. Heidi
I totally agree with your sentiments, Heidi. I am repelled by the consumer mind-set and have also been trying to do with less each year. Christmas makes being lonesome so much more acute. thank you sharing your heart. Praying for the ache of lost loved ones in your life. My son has just moved from Toronto to Victoria, so I also will have three empty chairs this year, but they love their new home and who can deprive them of that.
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