Showing posts with label Adoption Reunion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption Reunion. Show all posts

Friday, June 22, 2018

First chapter of my memoir - by Carol Ford


 I considered making this piece a prologue in my book, but I feel that readers often skip prologues. I would welcome your feedback on this approach to my memoir. Chapter 2 will take the reader back 46 years leading up to the following event in 1994.

Chapter 1
A LIFE MOMENT 1994

When they drove away, I experienced a renewed feeling of separation and abandonment.

The intensity of my emotions shocked and alarmed me.  I sobbed.

Neighbours, who saw my husband, boys and I waving goodbye to this man and women, would never have suspected the drama that had just unfolded in our lives.

Less than a week prior, my sixteen-year old son and I had driven to another city to search for information about my birth family, and I was unaware of the flurry of phone calls that happened because of our inquiries.

One of those calls came to me late on the Sunday night.
“Hello.”
 “Is this Carol?”
I hesitated, “Yes.”
“This is your sister Joan”
I heard screaming in the back ground, “Mom, it’s just like TV—it’s really her!”
The rest of that phone call was a blur, but I knew I had just experienced one of my life moments.

After we hung up, Joan contacted our brother Glenn. She called back to see if we could meet  at my home in two days.  It was all happening so fast!

The morning of their visit I’d dithered about trying to decide how to entertain them. Should I make sandwiches, or finger food, or desert—what do they like? What do I serve to family members I have never met? 

Friends called on the phone that day and offered prayer support.  One brought a bouquet of roses to my door for the celebration.  So many people wanted to witness the reunion, but we chose to keep it private.

Nerves were taut as we waited for their arrival, and I jumped when the knock came.

My boys, husband and I opened the door to a tall handsome, well-dressed man with a full head of salt and pepper grey hair.  He filled the whole doorframe.  This was my brother, Glenn.  I immediately noticed his bright blue eyes, a similar feature to mine.  My sister, Joan, entered behind him. She looked like a woman who had weathered many of life’s storms. She was out of breath and using a cane. I took her hand and helped her manoeuvre the front step. A strong smell of cigarette smoke expired as she talked. When I peered into her face, I was struck again by traces of familial features.

“Please come in,” I managed to say.  “This is my husband, Allan, and these are my two sons, Doug and Mike.” 

How strange to be making these introductions between family members.

“Let’s go to the kitchen where we can sit and talk.”  I said.

We walked down the hall together.   Once we were seated at the table, my sister scrutinized my face.  In fact, we were all intently observing each other—looking for signs of resemblance. 

“Look at her, Glenn, she looks so much like Grandma Kemp,” my sister immediately remarked. She said this in a tone of admiration and love.

My husband had a white gauze bandage wrapped around his head that day.  We all joked about his biking accident the evening before.  He told the funny story of the doctor’s visit when he had admitted to not wearing a biking helmet.   This seemed to break the ice.  I quickly noticed Glenn’s wit and humour. He teased Allan about living with an abusive spouse.  We all laughed.  My boys hung back in the doorway while they watched the adults connecting. What were they thinking? These were their flesh and blood aunt and uncle.

Joan did most of the talking that day, while Glenn quietly observed and listened. He interjected funny quips here and there which I sensed was his way of coping with the emotional tension of the event.

Joan and Glenn had always known about me, but I only knew they existed a year ago.  I read excerpts from the ‘non-identifiable information’ provided by the Children’s Aid Society.    Joan kept correcting the dates and facts that had been recorded—her memory was remarkable. She spoke with authority and accuracy and was a little intimidating. It was evident that our personalities were similar; we were all outgoing, take-charge kind of people—no shrinking violets in the bunch! Our sense of humour was also similar and we laughed and joked a lot that afternoon. 

When the afternoon drew to an end, I gave them each a framed picture of my little family to take home to their spouses and children.  Glenn told me that he would host a BBQ later in the summer to introduce us to my extended family members.

I could see that Joan and Glenn deeply loved and respected each other; they were siblings. I had been brought up an only child and didn’t understand this type of relationship.  Was there room in their lives for me? I was acutely aware of the missing years and our life together. 

Chapter 2
ARRIVING 1948

I welcome your comments. You will find more information about me at https://carolfordassociates.wordpress.com/

I have several recorded broadcasts on Careers and Worklife on Hope Stream Radio - Life Under The Sun https://hopestreamradio.com/program/life-under-the-sun/

If you are a writer or speaker, you might like this devotional: https://www.amazon.ca/As-Ink-Flows-Devotions-Christian/dp/081701767

Friday, December 22, 2017

Do you think God speaks to us in dreams? by Carol Ford



As I was reading the first and second chapter of Matthew today and I noticed how God spoke to Joseph and the wise men around the time of Jesus’ birth.
Matt 1: 20 ...behold an angel of the Lord, appeared to him in a dream, saying “Joseph, son of David do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
Matt 2:13 ...an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt and remain there until I tell you....”
Matt 2: 19-20 “....behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel....”
To the wise men after their meeting with Herod.
Matt 2:13 And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.
Each of these dreams gave assurance and direction.
****
I had a dream like that and I have wondered if it would seem strange to include it in my memoir. My dream happened at a time when I had been reading everything I could find about adoption reunions and searching online for additional information about my birth family. It was a strange, bizarre and emotionally disturbing dream.
In the dream, I was standing in the midst of a crowd of people and a large helmet with curled horns on the top was placed on the ground in front of us. The crowd was told that whoever put on the helmet would be destroyed—killed. No one moved. I felt compelled to step forward. I tentatively put on the helmet. My heart was pounding. But nothing happened.
I woke up abruptly!
“What was that about?” I whispered out loud.
My night clothes were drenched in sweat and I was shaken by the experience.
I couldn’t go back to sleep.
Quietly I slipped out of bed and went to my reading spot in the family room. I picked up my daily devotional and decided to read the previous day’s devotion which I had missed. The scripture at the top of the page was Matthew 25:31-34 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.’”
The words ‘sheep’ and ‘take your inheritance’ jumped out at me. I had just dreamt of a helmet with horns that resembled those of bighorn sheep; I had stepped into the unknown.  I had risked the consequences. What did this all mean?
Feelings of fear and apprehension had been my companions during those past few months of searching, and I often asked myself, “Should I, or shouldn’t I, take the risk?” Was God using this dream to show me that He knew my fears? Was He offering me reassurance that I should continue to search and “take my inheritance”? I knew it was a stretch, but there in the middle of the night, I claimed the dream and scripture as a sign to continue searching.
I did proceed with my search and a few months after that dream, in a remarkable way, I found my birth family. It happened less than a week after I travelled to the city of my birth.
****
Here is a picture of my grandson reaching to touch the angel. It is a good reminder that we need to be sensitive to God’s leading and presence in our lives. We never know when or how God will speak to us.

You can hop over to this link to read the back story to my first Christmas in my adoptive home. btw did I mention I was born on Christmas Day?
http://hotappleciderbooks.com/the-inside-story-of-my-forever-home/
 I wish you all a blessed and joyful Christmas season.

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