“Don’t use baby
oil for sun tanning lotion.” Today as I scrutinize my face in the mirror, I
wish my mother had warned me about all that ridiculous frying in the sun and
the possibility of skin cancer. But how
would my mamma know? She didn’t have the luxury of loafing in the sun; she was
too busy tending the garden, ironing our clothes and canning vegetables for the
cold winter months ahead. Thank God I don't have skin cancer but I wish mama had taken the time to share some practical truths.
I wish my mamma had taken the time to share
some practical truths.
For example:
1. Marriage
is hard work. Many parents think they are protecting their children by
having heated disagreements behind closed doors. Guarding children from
conflict and not modeling resolutions does not prepare them for future disputes and
strife. Consequently, I did not know how to resolve conflict. In my first
marriage I allowed my volatile emotions to dominate all disagreements which
always ended in anger and unresolved power struggles. It was through God’s word
that I learned to communicate with love rather than anger, followed by quick
forgiveness. “Be gentle and ready to
forgive; never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive
others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT).
2. Don’t
harbor resentment. Pasting a smile on my face when my heart is cut in half
is a dangerous and toxic habit. Most of my life I thought I was being noble by “stuffing”
hurt feelings. But apparently “stuffing” is not a fruit of the spirit. In fact,
it builds resentment and is like drinking poison hoping the other person will
die. Today I will not allow any resentment to creep into my heart. As soon as I
recognize it, I confront it and do whatever it takes to release its grip on me.
“The fool who provokes his family to
anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall
be the servant of a wiser man” (Proverbs 11:39 TLB).
3. Happiness
in my choice. Oh the pain I could have avoided if had known that no one can
provide my happiness. For years I looked to my husband, children, friends and
extended family to make me feel happy and fulfilled. Through the painful and disappointing
encounters I discovered that only God’s love and the enriching fruit of the
Holy Spirit could fill the empty craving of my tender soul. I let my family off
the hook and gave them incredible freedom when they no longer had to keep this mamma
happy.
4. Don’t
allow your feelings to rule your life. This one has been tough because I
feel things deeply and react quickly. Through God’s spirit of “self control” I
have discovered that in the midst of my impulsive or volatile feelings, I have
the power to stop and make a wise choice to be kind, forgive or extend grace.
There are
more. Invest your money on a consistent
basis. Tell people you love them. Don’t sweat the small stuff. De-clutter your
closet.
Contentment is learned.
Moving into the
winter season makes me reflective but also passionately determined to live more
like Christ. The fields are ripe for us to pour love and wisdom onto this
generation that needs authentic, loving words to guide them through the
minefields of this complicated life.
There is not enough power and wisdom in 140 characters on twitter, quick
text messages or intriguing posts on face book.
As writers and speakers who influence the world, we must do more than
model a nice, pleasing and fun filled life. We have to speak words of wisdom
and be authentic and truthful in our encounters with those people God places in
our lives. I believe that is what the “Lord of the Harvest needs us to do.”
Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley
in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a
wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When
Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh
with her husband and special friends.
Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places
(Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca;
Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing these life-lesson insights, Heidi. I'm sure that your vulnerable transparency in this post is indicative of the wisdom, personal security and self-knowledge that come through growing "in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18). (Nice Mama and 'Grandmama' and grandson pics! :)) ~~+~~
Oh Heidi. What a wonderful post. Contentment is, indeed, learned. We want to have it gifted to us and sometimes we think we earn the right to contentment. But hello? Once we take stock and realize the thousand blessings that come our way every day and the power in Christ to implement self control and the real Fruit of the Spirit, what unbridled joy enters in. Sweet! Thanks, Heidi. Well written!
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