Ten years ago, July 20, mom died. She was the heartbeat in my little girl soul. I remember when I was a wee one, praying to God in earnest to never ever let my parents die. I could barely breathe as I imagined life without them. As I grew I came to understand that death is part of life - the earthly end but clinging to the hope and anticipation of heaven and Jesus.
As I reflect on my life with Mom I have so much to be grateful for including the life lessons she instilled as I grew.
It's been over ten years now. Ten long/quick years. I learned how to breathe again. I am keeping my promise to her to look after my 91 year old dad and I count blessings because he is still with me.
Grief is fickle. Do you experience fickleness in your grief? One day I can talk openly; other days - like yesterday, the tears fall and I felt like I couldn't cope.
I think it's because I am getting older, as death walks around swinging her wretched blade, with abandon.
But it's okay.Today is an okay day. Dad is doing well for his age. I really never expected him to live past six months of Mom dying, but he did. And I am grateful. It's a bit of a journey some days. And I have to admit that sometimes I feel a little trapped caring for my lovely Poppa Bear 24/7. But I know it is a season and then God gives me a scripture to get me through.
He whispered a little something to me this morning, actually:
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted
over Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13
I like that. I'm okay. Missing you mom ... but I'm okay.
Here's one of yours and Dad's favourite oldies ... I can hear you singing it.
Glynis lives, loves, laughs and does an awful lot of reading, writing, publishing and praying in her home office.
How thrilled Glynis is to be part of GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE (Angel Hope Publishing) - an anthology filled with stories that help readers recognize, honour and celebrate the individuality of grief.
www.glynisbelec.com
5 comments:
Glynis, I appreciated your blog today. It is so true that our emotions can hijack us when we least expect it. I praise God for each new day and the health to enjoy the day. So many are experiencing sorrow and illness. Ten years caring for your father is a long time, but I appreciate your bright spirit and daily connection to others.
Lovely tribute to and reminiscence of your mom - and your dad, as well! Wistful, heartfelt and thoughtful. Hmm, vintage Mel Torme . . . what a treat! Thank you.
May our Heavenly Father comfort and continue to strengthen you as you care for your dad. ~~+~~
The verse, "Honour your FATHER" (caps mine) popped in my mind. Your days will be long, my friend.
Bless you, Glynis, for the time you share with your Dad. It's not easy though, I hear you. Sweet memories of your Mom. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Carol, Peter, Susan and Carolyn for your kind comments. I know I am not alone in my journey. The Lord is good and so are gentle assuring words like yours. Sweetness and Peace to each of you.
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