By the Rev. Dr. Ed
Hird
What is Valentine’s Day without love? Dr. Gil Stieglitz,
author of Marital Intelligence, says
that love is meeting needs. We feel
loved when someone else meets our needs.
They feel loved when we meet their needs.
Without love, relationships don’t last. The Great Physician taught that the greatest
commandments are all about love: love God and love our neighbour. Without loving people, we can’t really love
God, because God is love. All the
commandments are fulfilled when we love each other. We are called to do everything in love, to
serve one another humbly in love. Love
is called the Royal Law. Jesus taught
that the Ten Commandments given us by Moses are about love. When we keep the Ten Commandments from our
heart, we are being loving. When we break them, we are being unloving. The Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would
have them do to you” is once again about showing love. The greatest love, said Jesus, was to
sacrificially lay down our life for another.
Because Jesus was so full of love, he gave us a new commandment: love
one another as I have loved you. Love,
says the Good Book, is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. The greatest is
love. Imagine how our world might be
different if it was more about giving than taking, more about putting others
first ahead of ourselves. How might that
affect Valentine’s Day?
How might love and God’s Ten Tips give us a better
Valentine’s Day? The first two of the
Ten Commandments teach us to lovingly say no to idolatry. When we put another person on a pedestal,
they never stay there. They fall off. On
Valentine’s Day, love is about honouring and valuing another person without
expecting them to be perfect. Other
humans make poor idols. They will always
disappoint you once the Valentine’s buzz wears off. They are not God and neither are you. We’re just human. A key to a healthy Valentine’s Day is
forgiving other’s imperfections.
The third of the Ten Commandments lovingly teaches us to not misuse God’s name. It is interesting how easily we can be tempted to misuse God’s name when life doesn’t go well. How we treat God shapes how we treat others. We need to respect other people’s names, personalities, and unique histories. Putting down others to make ourselves look better always backfires, especially on Valentine’s Day.
The fourth of the Ten Commandments teach us that workaholism
kills relationship both with our spouse and our Creator. Busyness is often
relational avoidance. If we never fully
stop, we can never fully be. We just end
up as restless and shallow. Having a day
of rest is key to Valentine’s Day breakthrough.
The fifth of the Ten Commandments teaches us to show love
through honouring our father and mother.
Through forgiving our parents when they make mistakes, we are more able
to show love to others on Valentine’s Day.
Disrespect is contagious. So is
honour and respect for others.
The sixth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that murder is not
loving. We can murder people’s
reputations through gossip and slander.
Love rejects violence especially on Valentine’s Day. Sadly video games and pornography are
becoming more violent, desensitizing many of our younger generation to the
importance of gentleness and kindness in our male/female relationships.
The seventh of the Ten Commandments teaches us that adultery
is not loving. We show love through
rejecting sexual exploitation. All
humans, being made in God’s image, are of equal worth and value, regardless of
background. Faithfulness particularly in
marriage builds loving families and healthy communities.
The eighth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that stealing
is not loving. On Valentine’s Day, we
want to be people that can be trusted.
We will not take advantage of others.
We are here to bless and not to hurt.
The ninth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that telling
the truth in love is the way to healthy relationship. When we are deceitful and dishonest, everyone
loses, especially on Valentine’s Day. No
one wants to marry someone who can’t be trusted.
The tenth and final of the Ten Commandments teaches us that
coveting destroys loving relationship. As
the Beatles sang, Money can’t buy you love. Greed dehumanizes and destabilizes. Love frees, releases, and strengthens. My Valentine’s Day prayer is that those
reading this article will choose the way of love.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
-an article for the February 2015 Deep Cove Crier
and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both 
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4 comments:
Ed, thank you for sharing this beautiful, clear and practical application of the Ten Commandments and the "New Commandment" our Lord gave us.
Yep, and very timely too, on the approach to Valentine's Day.~~+~~
Well I'm now wishing that every day to be Valentine's day. Wouldn't that be a good reason to LOVE getting up in the morning.
Great, thoughtful post, Ed. Thanks for this.
People often see the Ten Commandments as rigid and restrictive. You've demonstrated most effectively how they are actually the boundaries through which we can both give and receive love. A well developed piece!
You are so right that the Ten Commandments can be condensed into one word - love.
I appreciate this statement you made: "love is about honouring and valuing another person without expecting them to be perfect. Other humans make poor idols. They will always disappoint"
Pam Mytroen
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