If there's one thing a writer does lots of (other than staring at a computer screen), it's waiting. We wait for an editor or agent to respond to a query. We wait for revision letters from our editors. We wait for the book to actually be published. We wait for the next contract. Usually, the wait is longer than we'd prefer.I'm learning to take refuge in a phrase of Scripture found in I Timothy 6:15 "... He Who is the Blessed and only Controller of all things ..."
We give lip service to God's absolute control of all, but when the cheque is late or the next contract elusive, do I really, truly believe it?
I think of the Children of Israel wandering in the desert. Scripture tells us that when the Cloud moved, they moved. When the Cloud stayed, they stayed. That sounds like a great story. But how would I have liked to live that story? How would I have responded after a month of camping in the same location, depending on each day's delivery of Manna? When the Cloud continued to stay, day after day, when I ached to find new scenery, would I have trusted, or would I have joined the complainers?
When I face my computer each day without a contract that affirms to me that my time is well spent, do I still trust? Do I really believe that God is the Blessed and Only Controller of all? When the story doesn't want to gel, and imagination feels thin, do I trust His work even in my own creativity?
I want to.
I think of another phrase used often throughout Scripture--"in the fullness of time". When the time is right, when His Wisdom deems that this moment is the perfect one, when all is in readiness from His perspective, then dreams give birth to reality. I may think now is the moment, but He knows far more than I. I can trust Him to determine accurately "the fullness of time".
In the meantime, Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief.
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