The Joy ot Tolerance -HIRD

By Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

The late Elie Wiesel, famed writer and holocaust survivor, commented that there is divine beauty in learning, just as there is human beauty in tolerance.  Most of us as Christians believe in the value of tolerance even if we cannot define what it means.  The Concise Oxford Dictionary speaks of tolerance as forbearance which means to completely bear with someone’s failings as you patiently give them time to grow. As Ephesian 4:2 says, we are to be patient, forbearing and bearing with one another in love.  To joyfully tolerate someone doesn’t mean that we need to agree with them. As Dr John Gottman puts it, when you honor and respect each other, you're usually able to appreciate each other's point of view, even if you don't agree with it.  You don’t need to be a moral relativist winking at sin, in order to be biblically tolerant. The joy of tolerance is the love of neighbour, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Tolerance is also about choosing to forgive.  As Colossians 3:13 puts it, we need to be forbearing one another and forgiving one another, if you have any quarrel against one another.  Sometimes our children and teenagers greatly try our patience, particularly when they may be teasing their siblings.  The joy of tolerance includes setting healthy boundaries while not giving up on painful people, including our family members.  

The Concise Oxford Dictionary also speaks of tolerance as recognition of the right of private judgement in religious matters, including the liberty to uphold one’s religious opinions and forms of worship.  Our democratic freedoms, like freedom of thought, speech and assembly, enshrined in our Bill of Rights, are all rooted in the primary freedom, which is freedom of religion.  

The British Act of Toleration in 1689 was a huge step forward in advancing the democratic rights of people to freedom of religion.  GK Chesterton commented[1] that tolerance sometimes leads to timidity where people become afraid to even mention their religious views.  True tolerance doesn’t push religion into a closet but welcomes it joyfully in the public square.  Intolerance is often like bad breath and body odor; it is difficult to always notice one’s own intolerance. Sometimes people who pride themselves on being more tolerant than others end up intolerantly looking down on other people.  Dr Timothy Keller commented: “If you're intolerant of people you think are intolerant, you're still intolerant. If you are judgmental of people you think are judgmental, you are judgmental.”  Sometimes smokers in our postmodern culture are intolerantly treated like outcasts.  We Christians need to remember to love the smoker even if we cannot tolerate their second-hand smoke.

Recently we visited all 10,000 homes in the Seymour/Deep Cove area, inviting people to the March 3^rd to 5th Festival of Hope at Rogers Arena with Franklin Graham.  We were impressed by the tolerant welcome and hospitality of our neighbours.  Even atheists would kindly engage us in fascinating conversations.  True tolerance does not have to agree in order to love.  As Romans 2:4 says, God himself is tolerant, forbearing, kind and patient, giving us time to change and turn back.  My prayer for the Lower Mainland Christian community is that we would grow in joyful tolerance as we share our common faith in the one Lord Jesus.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector

St. Simon's Church North Vancouver

-author of Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit

-an article adapted for the Light Magazine and the Deep Cove Crier

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[1] GK Chesterton, Autobiography of GK Chesterton (Ignatius Press, 1936), 238. https://www.amazon.com/Autobiography-G-K-Chesterton-G-K/dp/1586170716

Sanctity of Life/Mann

I stood among the people at our village Remembrance Day Service: all ages, shoulder to shoulder, bowed heads in prayer and lifted voices in song. As the names were read out and the wreaths were laid, faces passed through my memory like pages in a photograph album: uncles, neighbours, cousins. Although neither of my parents saw overseas duty, my father trained with the 11th Field Regiment, Royal Canadian Artillery (Guelph) and my mother worked delinquently with other women who served in The Red Cross Home Groups. As a farmer, dad may have been the last group to get the ‘letter’ which my sister said was an invitation. She also said, “Dad was ready to go.” And I know Mom would have parented us in the same ways that other mothers did when their man answered the call to duty.

As a child I was very much aware of war, low flying planes caused me to run to a ditch or into the safety of a building, my father’s voice singing ‘The Letter Edged in Black’ reminded me that even the mail carried fear and pain. My city cousins used to talk about having to lower black blinds during air raids and pull black curtains over the windows. Even on the farm, with plenty of milk, eggs and garden produce, I remember the dish of butter with the five squares, and the ration coupons for shopping.

Walking home from the cenotaph last week, I began to think about the sanctity of life. In one congregation in which I served, we had twin brothers who had served in France. I asked them during an open conversation in worship, where they got their courage. One of them said, “Faith” and the other said, “I used to sing the hymns I learned in Sunday school.” Sanctity of life, faith and God’s presence in the moment and in our memories are the focus for courage.

Several days later following Remembrance Day, the coordinator in a small group I attend, asked us to think about similar thoughts. Stories of birth and rebirth, loss and discovery, sorrow and happiness seemed to weave the thread of life through the experiences.

I shared a story about my birth during a January storm and how my father traveled to the highway with the horse and cutter to get the doctor. Then, in the middle of another January snow storm thirty years later, that same doctor attended me in the local hospital, to herald in the birth of our third son.

Interesting how life and death repeat themselves through the generations. We stand and watch, we feel joy and pain, we look to one another for support and encouragement and when we stumble, someone offers us a hand. It is said that it takes a village to raise a child; truly it takes a village to mourn its collective loss.

Blessings and courage for the days ahead
Donna Mann
http://www.donnamann.org/

Further Reflections on the Church - Eleanor Shepherd

One of the most exciting parts of the week for my husband, Glen and me is Sunday morning at ten o’clock. We have the privilege of facilitating a class of teens and young adults at our church. We have come to call it the Discovery Class, because that is what we do.

More than being offered the standard answers these young people want to ask burning questions about how they are to live out their faith as Christians, and not be judged for doing so. They have heard it all, since most of them have been coming to Sunday School and church since they were infants. Their questions reflect the challenges they face in trying to authentically live out their faith every day in their schools, work places and homes.

For example last Sunday, they wanted to know how do you tell someone who does not share our faith that they are wrong. As we entered into a discussion about it, we concluded that to come right out and declare that they are wrong would really do nothing for the relationship. It would only affirm the opinion of some that Christians are arrogant bigots who think they have all the answers.

We tackled the subject from several viewpoints. One person recounted a recent experience about walking along the boardwalk at the beach on vacation in Florida. There were two young men at the open air stage with their Bibles open shouting at the crowd how they were one day going to be judged for the failure to accept God’s message. Even as a Christian, to hear the condemnation made one cringe and not want to identify with that kind of intolerance.

One option explored was keeping the dialogue going with our friends, convinced that if they are genuinely seeking the truth they will find it. Isn’t that what the Scriptures tell us? Somehow we need to be ready to listen and help them think through the conclusions of what they believe until they themselves see that they have not yet come to a knowledge of the truth.  We took this idea a little further. It is actually possible for Christians to learn some things about faith by carefully considering the questions of those who have not embraced the faith. There are questions that do not have easy answers and to reflect about them can increase our appreciation of the reality that God cannot be reduced to someone that we can figure out. His ways truly are higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts. Nevertheless, slowly we can tease out truths that strengthen our faith.

There are times, when it is necessary for us to gather up our courage and with dignity and respect tell our friends that they are on the wrong track. Interestingly enough, a few days later Glen and I were having lunch with some friends who recounted to us just such a story. One person in a group, they were involved with was making choices that were not only detrimental for themselves but also brought into question the faith and character of the other Christians in the group. The only choice was to confront them with the consequences of their behaviour. Even those who were not Christians agreed that this was necessary.

The outcome of our discussion was that there cannot be rigid rules set down about telling someone they are wrong. What is essential is that the person be treated with dignity and respect. Then when we have to point out error it can be seen as that and not as an attack on the person. What must motivate our decision is love. This is not the kind of love that is a mushy sentimentality. Rather it is love that follows Jesus, willing to do as He did and lay down one’s life for one’s friends. It is a love that seeks the best for the person who is the object of that love.

Was that not the message of Jesus who said that the world would know that we are His by the love we show to one another? These young people sure set a high standard for us.

UNITY IN DIVERSITY - Mann

“And so we agree to disagree?” It can be unsettling when we hear two people struggle with differing points of view while sitting at the same table, or in the same pew or choir loft? Why are we more comfortable when we all agree? Is it because we can build on each other’s thoughts, finish each other’s sentences and even second-guess what others may be thinking. We sing songs like, “We are one in the Spirit” and expect the whole group to come out at the same gate. But, that doesn’t always happen. And if it did, I think it would be a bit boring.

Points of view and varying perspectives give texture and colour to the ordinary. I cherish the voice that risks the statement at Bible Study, “And have you thought of . . . “ Or the person who steps into the circle at a council challenging an overused tradition. Maybe it’s a child who states she is bored in church causing the elders to reflect on worship.

If it's easy to love one another in the body of Christ when we agree, we are called to love even more as we make ourselves a channel of God’s love to the one with whom we differ. Perhaps our greatest challenge is to gain unity-in-diversity without judgement or criticism. I’ve found the use of Holy Manners extremely helpful when people come to the table from different theological perspectives and faith traditions. It is the time when we can learn from each other and watch the Spirit move in our midst encouraging us to share our views.

It's always supportive to review Holy Manners and apply them to discussion and decision-making, particularly during church Annual and Council meetings and especially when considering provocative issues. I keep them in view even as I write emails and blogs.
 "keep God at the centre of everything we do
 separate people from problems
 allow for full and equitable participation
 listen carefully without interruption
 welcome the conflict of ideas
 honour the decisions of the body" (Dr. Marion Pardy).

And it is when you put another piece in the puzzle, that my picture appears greater.

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