Golden Apples in Silver Settings

Credit: dayspring.com

A nice card

My wife handed me the card, holding it open to reveal the inscription on the inside. The exterior was rather plain and less attractive than I’d hoped; however the wording was well suited for the occasion. “We can keep that one in mind,” I suggested, “but let’s see if we can find another one with an equally good message, but with a more attractive appearance.”

And so, we continued looking. Our search was for a variety of greeting cards that day. No, none of them were Valentines, but were for birthday, get well, thinking of you, and bereavement sympathy.

Credit: zazzle.ca

Not our choice of card!

For our taste some cards’ decorations were gaudy, cheapened by over-much gilding and ornamentation, while others we considered were too sombre and dark. In some instances we refused cards with ideal visual presentation and tasteful fonts simply because the wording was too flowery or syrupy. We finally left with a selection that we hoped would suit the persons and situations we had in mind.

The challenge was getting both the message (the language art) and the means of presenting it (the graphic art) ‘right.’

I love this word picture from the biblical book of Proverbs; it relates to the benefit of crafting a message and the means of presenting it well: “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11). This has often prompted me to imagine various ornaments, such as a delicate necklace, featuring apples of burnished gold, set amongst entwining stems and leaves of silver, to grace a lady’s neck.

Credit: depositphotos.com

Silver picture-frame depiction

We’ve become accustomed to trash talk at many levels of society, from the world of sports to parliamentary debate and just about everything in between. Smart phones and social media provide a platform for spewing out negative attitudes, nastiness, anger and hate. However, the medium also provides opportunity for crafting messages expressing truth, kindness and love.

Raise Your Gaze Thought: A word or message “aptly spoken” or written can be beautiful art when it comes from the heart.

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A version of the above piece is to be published in Southwestern Ontario's Standard Guide Advocate Feb. 8, 2018 

Peter A. Black is a retired pastor – well, sort of retired – and lives in Southwestern Ontario. He writes a weekly inspirational newspaper column, P-Pep! and is author of Raise Your Gaze ... Mindful Musings of a Grateful Heart, and Parables from the Pond -- a children's / family book. ~~+~~

Roses an’ Chocs, Leaky Faucets an’ Dirty Socks -- Black

Roses, chocolates, cupid cards and romantic candlelight dinners... Aahh, a woman’s dream; something every woman wants, right? No, not really.

Chocolates? If none come my wife’s way at Christmas, we’ll buy some in the post-season sales, and she’ll be happy for the bargain.

A nice, but not too fancy restaurant or expensive dinner? That’s OK too, but it doesn’t have to be on Valentine's Day.

Roses? Well, they wilt so quick that she’d rather I didn’t spend money on them. We usually shop together and pick up some annuals or perennials at the garden centre in the spring, for a fraction of the cost.

My Beloved—ever pragmatic—welcomes a little touch of romance, but slavish extravagance, she doesn't. I’m grateful for my “low-maintenance” girl! However, I don’t get off the hook, altogether; she does have expectations!

Have you ever heard or expressed something like the following (it reflects the sort of things that matter to my spouse)?:

"There's so much happening all at once ... I'm completely overloaded with so much to do that I hardly know where to begin!" The statement may be intoned with frustration or a sigh. (One learns to tell the difference.)

Shortly before my retirement, my wife, looking weary and sounding peeved, took a deep breath and said, "Look, we've only got a few weeks left before we move, and we've got so much to do between now and then. Peter, you just have to take the time to help me get it done!"

Her frustration over my slowness to reduce the size of my library and an abundance of tools before our move into a downsized home, showed. But even her frustration was overridden by a momentary sense of helplessness—a sinking feeling of being overwhelmed and falling behind, expressed in a sigh. Ah yes, a woman’s voice, along with her actions, can tell us men so much about what matters to her.

Wise are the husbands and fathers who learn to hear and heed the voices of the womenfolk in their lives. The female voice can convey more than words alone; its intonation can reveal the feelings of the heart.

I still have to work at honouring my Beloved through applying thoughtful sensitivity; that means much more to her than sentimentality. After 45 years of marriage, I’m still not there. My capacity for active listening has improved in some respects, but is developing way too slow!

Truth is, my brain-box behaves like a bird hopping around on a hot tin roof, these days, and I have to try harder than ever to focus on what my Beloved (or anyone) is telling me. I really do need to pick up on the voiced request or mild sigh—long before the emotional dynamic leads to extreme frustration.

My wife doesn’t ask for much, but she does want me to listen attentively—to hear her heart and be aware of how she feels about what she says and requests, and to act accordingly. This is expected of men who follow Christ (1 Peter 3:7 abbrev.): "Husbands ... be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect ... so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Fellas, just think: Some of our significant other’s requests may seem ever so insignificant to a man, but may mean a great deal to her. What do expensive dark chocolates, crimson roses, cards and candlelight dinners mean to the woman whose guy won’t pick up his dirty socks, or fix the leaky faucet (or sort out those boxes of books and tools!), eh?

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This piece is an adaptation and expansion of my guest post to the blog, “A Woman’s Voice,” under a series “A Man’s Voice,” June 20, 2010.

Peter A. Black writes a weekly inspirational column for the Southwestern Ontario newspaper, The Watford Guide-Advocate, and is the author of "Parables from the Pond" (a Word Alive Press finalist, 2007)-- a book finding a readership from school children to senior citizens.