Showing posts with label Paris. Show all posts

Friday, February 01, 2019

THE INTERUPTED LIFE – WHEN YOUR WORLD FALLS APART by Eleanor Shepherd

Can you imagine learning one day, at the age of 66 that the life you have been living during the last 27 years of a 47 year relationship has all been a lie? That was the interruption that my friend, Marie (name changed) faced.

Although Marie was an American, the family had made their home in Paris, but the disclosure that interrupted everything took place during a five-week trip to China, where she and her husband were being shown many different parts of the country by personal guides.

Over lunch in a small village a dispute arose between them over the soup and Mark (her husband) flew into a rage, calling her cruel names, and making hurtful, derogatory comments about her as he stalked off and left her trying to grasp what was going on. As she sat reflecting, she realized that this pattern of behaviour was manifesting itself frequently and wondered if it might not be symptomatic of a deeper problem.

Thus it was that evening as they sat down to talk things over together. Mark admitted that he had a secret, but was reluctant to share it with Marie. Confidently, Marie assured him that there was nothing they could not face together and overcome. Her reassurance gave him the courage to open up. She was shattered when he told her, “There is a woman who I have known for 27 years. I love her and she loves me.”

Their relationship had been rocky at times, but never had Marie suspected that there was another woman involved. They had lived quite independently, each with their unique expectations of what the relationship should look like and apparently neither finding the fulfillment they desired, yet both believed that it was possible.

It was clear they could not continue in this impossible situation. At first there seemed to be reason for hope. Mark had confessed what was troubling him and was free from the burden of the secret. He was willing to move forward and rebuild their relationship.

Although Marie was still reeling under the shock and struggled with absolute disbelief that this could be happening, she was willing to push through her feelings of anger, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, and misunderstanding of what she felt was a profoundly repugnant and disturbing situation and make the effort to get through this together.

The whole matter came to a head in a counselling session where Mark admitted that he did not want to give up the other relationship. Marie knew that she had to make her own choices and opted to rebuild her own life, imposing on them both a ban to any live contact, that is in person, by telephone or electronically (Skype or FaceTime). All business matters between them would be carried on by email.

While the disclosure of the double life Mark had been living was a shocking interruption in Marie’s life, the final consequences have revealed some benefits for her. Although she had to process a ton of emotions and sift through her many experiences with a new perspective to discover what was true and what was not, she now feels that she is becoming more and more who she used to be and who she really is. In the process of all this, her faith was impacted and she had to work through a new understanding of the ways of God and her relationship with Him. Having done the necessary work to explore all of this, Marie finds that she feels better about herself now than at any previous time in her life.

Although it seems that this story can be recounted quickly, the actual events involved are much more complex and there are many more aspects to Marie’s saga, some of which I will be looking at in the upcoming book I am writing about a variety of people who have experienced significant interruptions in their lives. I believe what they have shared can help each of us as we encounter those unexpected events in life that change the course of our personal history. Stay tuned.

Word Guild Award
2011

Eleanor Shepherd from Pointe Claire, Quebec has more than 100 articles published in Canada, France, the U.S.A., Belgium, Switzerland and New Zealand. Thirty years with The Salvation Army in Canada and France including ministry in Africa, Europe, Haiti and the Caribbean furnished material for her Award winning book, More Questions than Answers, Sharing Faith by Listening as well as her Award winning stories in Hot Apple Cider and Christmas with Hot Apple Cider. She co-authored with her husband Glen the Bible Study book Why? Families. Eleanor recently retired from being a pastor in Montreal with The Salvaton Army.

Word Guild Award
2018

Word Guild Award
2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Have We Seen Too Much? - by Heidi McLaughlin

A sharp reality hit me this week. A certain image shifted in my spirit and I became disturbed as I took the time to read the article on CNN. It is called “I’m just worried” written by Benazir Wehelie, and photographed by Alex Majoli during their time in Paris on Friday. [i] My perplexed spirit wasn’t so much about the horrors of the attacks, but the superficial and conflicting reactions of our present culture.

Have we seen so many school shootings, beheadings, terrorist attacks and refugees that we have become desensitized? Alex, the photographer, states that in the site of the attacks people were taking selfies. Why? To post on Instagram or Facebook to say that “I was there?” Perhaps we have become self absorbed about being part of the biggest adventure, or the most prestigious event, or seen with the most famous people? Perhaps for some people it is a need for them to capture the spotlight and give them some historic and notorious recognition. Social media has lured us into believing that in order to have self worth and prestige we have to display a brilliant cutting edge life that no one else has. It hurts my heart to think that we have become so numb to tragedies that we grab tragic moments to glamorize ourselves.

I remember the Columbine massacre on April 20, 1999 in Littleton, Colorado. It devastated our seemingly ideal existence and marked our country’s sadness for years. Our hearts broke for young people’s lost lives and we were horrified that someone could execute such loathsome acts. Now when CNN reports another school shooting we shake our head, sigh and move on because there will probably be another travesty next week.

But I can’t point a finger. I am aware that I no longer weep when I see a T.V. ad pleading for the support of a child that is under nourished, sad and hopeless. There is so much anger, terrorism, violence and hopelessness these days that it seems easier to focus on our survival and happiness. After all, I can’t do anything to change the world so I’ll look out for number one.

That is not how we were designed to live. When Jesus walked on this earth he: “…saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd” (Mark 6:34 NIV).

We are not hopeless. We are not lost. We have a shepherd whose heart must be breaking for mankind. We have been given the command to “love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 22:39 NIV).

So we can’t tune out. We can’t ignore. We are all connected. Even though we have a global view and at times it all seems too much, we must follow Jesus’ example and allow our hearts to feel the pain and sorrow of mankind. Then to do what we can to help one another in our areas of influence. Whether we like it or not, we are all God’s creations and until Jesus returns we are His hands and feet to bear one another’s burdens. “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 NLT).

“Heavenly Father forgive us for our selfish hearts. Help us to look at the crowds with hearts of compassion and mercy and to do our part wherever we can. Thank You. Amen.”

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her husband and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca

[i] http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/15/world/cnnphotos-paris-attacks-alex-majoli/index/html

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Creativity in us—Carolyn R. Wilker

On the weekend I spent an enjoyable day with two friends at “Christmas in Paris”—an event we had never attended before.

I’d heard about it and decided it would make a good day trip. Doris and Amanda’s schedules were free and so we set out Saturday morning for Paris (Ontario, that is). Driving country roads instead of main highways, we watched the panorama of trees with coloured leaves, many still on the tree and the ground carpeted with more.

We’d done our research before setting out. For a toonie, paid at any location, we gained admission to all six locations, the proceeds going to the “non-profit organization (Kindred Spirits Artisans) and help fund these wonderful events the public enjoys every year.”

The website invites us into the festivities with these words:

Our vibrant community shares the joy of the holiday season by opening our homes and hearts! Participate in a unique shopping experience and select your gifts from the work of our artist and artisans!

Kindred Spirits Artisans of Paris began as an incorporated organization of people who share common interests in raising “the profile of the arts in the local community.” Founded in 1990, local newspapers announced the initiative of people “from a variety of artistic disciplines as a cultural renaissance,” an event that has continued over the past twenty-three years.

We arrived under heavy skies and the likelihood of rain, but at first it was just chilly. We’d be indoors and out so rain did not much matter, for the spirit was bright and the houses and buildings hosting the events were decorated gaily, reminding us that Christmas is indeed coming. For those who wanted to do Christmas shopping, it was a perfect opportunity to purchase handmade crafts from the artisans. Having been a craftsperson myself, I'm always interested in seeing how artists combine materials to pleasing effect.

I hear it coming—Christmas is so commercialized. And it is, but for us that day, it was simply an opportunity to go somewhere together, see the works of wonderfully creative people who live in the community and surrounding area. We were not disappointed, although too many scented items precluded me from wandering and looking inside one large venue at the golf course, but I invited my friends to see what they could find while I enjoyed the outdoor scenery from the raised verandah.

Over all the six sites, we saw glasswork and creative stitchery, beadwork, wreaths, metalwork, ornaments, silk scarves, and so much more. I marvelled at the ingenuity of many of those artisans—the pictures made with wool roving, felted and embroidered to make a natural scene; and gourds that had been dried and made into ornaments. Among all those items, I found some special treasures—ornaments, a winter wreath and art card—to bring home.

In the middle of our tour, we sat talking over lunch in the main part of town, and then looking around in the stores, and by this time it had begun to rain.

Thinking on the array of beautiful things made by those artisans reminds me that God invested the same creative expression in us that he himself did in creating us. Our creative gifts are meant to be used, whether with words or artistic forms. Celebrate that creativity this season and all year long and share it with others as a gift from our creator.

Carolyn R. Wilker, editor, storyteller and author of Once Upon a Sandbox

http://www.carolynwilker.ca/

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Search for the Historical Victor Hugo - ED HIRD

By Rev Ed Hird

With the recent success of the movie Les Miserables, people have been looking again at the author Victor Hugo. What is it about Hugo that enabled him to write what Leo Tolstoy called the greatest of all novels? Who was the real historical Victor Hugo? Every day around 3,000 words are published about Victor Hugo. It has been said that to read the complete works of Hugo would take no less than ten years. Every important poet, novelist and dramatist of his age was shaped by Hugo’s prolific endeavours. Some call him the greatest of French poets. He was the dominant figure in 19^th century French literature. By the time he left France in 1851, Hugo was seen as the most famous living writer in the world. Upon his return to France, thousands of people in Paris chanted ‘Vive Victor Hugo’, reciting his poetry, and throwing flowers on him. On his eightieth birthday, six hundred thousand Parisians marched past his house in his honor. At his death, a day of national mourning was declared.

By the time Hugo died in 1883, he had become a symbol of France with all its struggles and challenges. Hugo lived through bloody uprising after uprising. Almost a million Frenchmen had died during this revolutionary period, half of them under the age of twenty-eight. Les Miserables with its passionate message about the barricades reflect this deep trauma of chaos upon unending chaos.
When Hugo was born, his parents were horrified by his appearance. His own mother could not bear to look at him. His own doctor indicated that without a miracle, Victor would not last out the month. With an enormous head and a tiny body, his father said that Victor looked like the gargoyles of Notre Dame. Such an insensitive comment led to his second most favorite novelThe Hunchback of Notre Dame. Ironically after the success of his Hunchback novel, all the nouveau riche wanted their homes to be ornamented with gargoyles.

Victor adored his mother Sophie but she cared little for her children. During his childhood, Victor deeply resented his father Leopold who was always away at war. As an adult, Victor became his father’s closest companion. His own parents had divided loyalties between the royalists and the republicans. Hugo’s parents met in Brittany while his Napoleonic father was stamping out a local royalist rebellion. Both of his parents were unfaithful to their marriage vows, something that repeated itself in Victor’s own marriage.

While only fifteen, Victor applied for the French Academy’s annual poetry contest. His poetry was so advanced that the Academy refused to accept him until his mother produced his birth certificate. Victor loved to write, commenting that ‘every thought that has ever crossed my mind sooner or later finds it onto paper. …Ideas are my sinews and substance.’

His father Leopold saw Victor’s involvement in literature as being like ‘pouring good wine down an open sewer’. So he refused to help fund his literary education: “If you were to elect a career as a lawyer or physician, I would gladly make sacrifices to see through university.” Victor often went without food in his early literary years, saying ‘I shall prove to my father that a poet can make sums far larger than the wages of an Imperial General.’ With great talent and a strong work ethic, Victor became one of a very small band who could earn their living with their pens. One of Victor’s closest friends was Alexandre Dumas, the famous author of theCount of Monte Cristo and the Three Musketeers.

One of Victor’s greatest sorrows was that his wife Adele was indifferent to his writings. Even his passionate love poems for his wife, she ignored. Adele warned Victor that ‘it is the fault of passionate men to set the women they love upon a pedestal. To be placed so high produces dizziness, and dizziness leads to a fall.’ Adele’s affair with her husband’s best friend Saint-Beauve crushed Victor, leading him into his own ongoing infidelity. There was great tragedy in Hugo’s life with his own brother Eugene having a mental breakdown at Victor’s wedding and his youngest daughter suffering the same fate after being abandoned by her lover Pinson. One of the deepest wounds was the drowning of Victor’s daughter Leopoldine shortly after her marriage. Out of this great sorrow came great dramatic writing, especially in his novel Les Miserables. Andre Maurois commented that Hugo possessed and would retain all his life long, one precious gift: the power to give to the events of everyday life a dramatic intensity.
Ground-zero in Les Miserables was the gracious Bishop Bienvenue who transformed Jean Valjean by his generous act of forgiveness. Victor Hugo’s son Charles was upset by his father’s choosing of Bishop Bienvenue. Charles suggested instead that his father should have made Bienvenue to be a medical doctor instead of a clergyman. Victor replied to his son: ‘Man needs religion. Man needs God. I say it out loud, I pray every night…” Victor held that humanity is an ‘unspeakable miracle.’ Of all the French Romantics, Hugo made the most explicit usage of the Bible.

I thank God for the life and work of Victor Hugo who had such a passion for life, freedom and forgiveness, especially as seen in his novel Les Miserables.
The Rev Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca