My friend, Michelle married her high-school sweetheart when she was barely in her twenties. They were both part of our church youth group and there seemed no solid reason why their relationship would not survive the passage of the years. This proved true for 30 years and their successfully raising three sons. One unexpected day Steve, her husband, left abandoning their relationship because of his unhappiness.
Michelle was aware of his unhappiness but had not shared the concerns with any one other than their family doctor and the marriage counsellor. When Steve did leave, the doctor said to her that she had done all she could do and now was the time to ask herself, “What do you want?” He also said that it was the one thing her husband could change by his leaving. She was a casualty of his unhappiness.
Fortunately, Michelle took his advice seriously but still had to deal with the reality of
her situation. Naturally, she felt anguish and betrayal and sadness for their sons. She never expressed real anger as such, although many of her friends did. She knew that basically Steve was a good man and it was very hard for him to take this decision so she could not be angry. Nevertheless she experienced a great deal of sadness and she prayed that he would find his way back to the Lord.
It was the culmination of what they both knew would probably come one day. For Michelle it was almost a relief when it happened even though she could still hardly believe he would actually leave. However he said that if he stayed he would die and there was no arguing with that. They had both been living with his unhappiness for several years even though they had some good times too. They had long periods of silence when they were together because Michelle was too afraid to ask questions. Steve was so caught up in his personal misery and unable to love or respond to her.
At the time that Steve left, two of their sons were still at home with Michelle and they were able to support and help each other through the sadness. Even now twenty years later, her heart still breaks when she thinks how devastated they were. It has had long-term effects on both of them with relationships and they still find it difficult to talk about this interruption in their lives.
Their father, Steve has since passed away, and Michelle is grateful to God that He gave them time to spend with their dad in the hospital after his heart attack, even though he never regained consciousness. They were able to say things they wanted to say and all three boys spoke well of their dad at his funeral.
As Michelle began to intentionally put into practice the advice of her doctor, a new life began for her. She was able to get a part-time job at local clothing store and joined a professional choir that fall. Shortly afterward God opened up a wonderful opportunity to use her gifts for ministry in the field of Corrections for prison inmates. She was trained to facilitate the program “Keychange” which involves one-on-one sessions with inmates helping them to find ‘a new key for their life’ using appropriate music. She later trained as a Chaplain with the Salvation Army. This fit well with facilitating the Keychange program. She was able to minister to both inmates and correctional staff. Four years ago she was ordained with The Community Christian Fellowship Church of Canada and can now officiate at weddings and funerals for staff members and others in the community.
When a devastating interruption confronted her life, Michelle worked through her pain, choosing to pursue new fulfillment by discovering how she could make a difference in the lives of others.
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| Word Guild Award 2018 |
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| Word Guild Award 2009 |
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| Word Guild Award 2011 |
Eleanor Shepherd from Pointe Claire, Quebec has more than 100 articles published in Canada, France, the U.S.A., Belgium, Switzerland and New Zealand. Thirty years with The Salvation Army in Canada and France including ministry in Africa, Europe, Haiti and the Caribbean furnished material for her Award winning book, More Questions than Answers, Sharing Faith by Listening as well as her Award winning stories in Hot Apple Cider and Christmas with Hot Apple Cider. She co-authored with her husband Glen the Bible Study book Why? Families. As well as writing, she conducts workshops on listening skills and prayer. Eleanor recently retired from being the pastor of an English speaking congregation in Montreal with The Salvaton Army. She is currently pursuing studies to become a Prayer Companion.
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