She hadn’t
yet been born. What would it have been like to be there with her brother and
four older sisters and their mother, welcoming their daddy back home from
Europe? His military service
covered the WWII years. Whereas he’d spent the
majority of his military service in an engineers’ battalion, doing fortifications
and other security work around the UK, his last year saw him in Europe as part
of the British Liberation Army.
 |
Returned Allied Soldier
Courtesy: Daily Mail, UK.
|
My wife,
May, would like to have heard her dad share stories of his military service,
but as is often the case with veterans who’d witnessed tragic scenes, his lips
were sealed . . . just wouldn’t talk about them. We understand, however, that
he had witnessed horrific scenes amidst appalling conditions in that final year
of service, as they moved in to liberate people and prisoners of war in areas
which had been under Nazi control.
 |
| May's Dad, early 1940s. |
He was the
lone survivor of four of his hometown buddies who went into wartime service.
Three
didn’t return home alive; he did. Whereas ‘survivor’s guilt’ likely wasn’t
warranted, I suspect he quietly suffered from it. I wish now that I were able to
encourage him to open up and unload the burdens of his heart, but he’s long
gone. He died in Scotland in 1977, when we were already living in Canada. Poignantly today I reflect that I’m now the same age that he
was when he died.
Are you an
Armed Forces vet? Or, is there one in your family or friendship circle? Helping
those who carry painful, traumatic memories to find relief requires considerable
sensitivity.
Here’s a
path that has helped me and many folks to deal with deep and troubling personal
concerns: In the quietness of solitude and the
sanctuary of my own heart, mostly in private and sometimes with a trusted
friend who is a true believer in Jesus, I confess my need, pouring it all out
in Jesus’ name to God – my loving Heavenly Father. I sincerely ask for grace to
accept His forgiveness for my failures and sins in a spirit of forgiveness
towards others. Jesus Christ died and rose again to cleanse and secure
forgiveness for me and for us all.
Following
through, I seek strength to live in that new reality in a spirit of gratitude.
I’ve found that my burdens are often lightened by following this path.
Frequent, daily talks with Jesus along life’s pathway are precious and
healthful to me.
War is a
terrible thing and surely oughtn’t to be glamourized. It involves more than
physical bodies and material armaments; war is a spiritual thing, and involves
deep spiritual forces and consequences. Sadly, despite this age of such great
enlightenment the dark spectre of war continually stalks the earth.
Let us
pray for our nation,
as we remember with respect and commemorate with gratitude
those who have paid the ultimate price and those who continue meeting the great
cost of keeping our nation “glorious and free”!
~~+~~
Peter A. Black is a retired pastor – well, sort of retired – and lives in Southwestern Ontario. He writes a weekly inspirational newspaper column, P-Pep! and is author of Raise Your Gaze ... Mindful Musings of a Grateful Heart, and Parables from the Pond -- a children's / family book. ~~+~~
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7 comments:
Wise, godly advice for those who suffer, Peter. I pray that many will benefit from it.
Thanks, Rose. Over the years I've come to suspect that many WWI and WWII veterans stoicly suffered in 'stiff upper lift' silence, while haunted and conflicted by the horrors they witnessed, with some of them likely being convicted in their souls over their own actions in warfare. So sad.
May effective programs, prayer, listening ears and understanding hearts encourage our more contemporary vets to open up, share their burdens and find help, hope and relief . . . And peace. ~~+~~
You've hit home, Peter. Dad is 91 and lives with us and I know that if they had had the diagnosis of PTSD back then, he would have borne that label. Dad was the same as May's Dad for many many years - never willing to share stories.
But as Dad has aged, he has been subject to dreams and hallucinations of days gone by. Just the other evening he fell - tells me he was fighting the enemy and was striking out and the momentum propelled him off the bed and onto the floor.
He has 'seen' rats and medics and matrons in his room. He has felt soot from 'the fires' falling on his head (there was none, of course) and he has spoken of jungle life and such atrocities that one can barely imagine. This week leading up to Remembrance Day is so hard for him. He wanted me to get out his uniform and medals already last week - so I did. He is trying to decide whether to go in the parade or not (he 'marches' on his scooter with our fireman son, usually) but I fear he is not well enough to do so - but if he wants to ... who am I to stop him?
He seems calmer and better when we put on the Reflections TV program where scripture flashes across the screen and gentle music plays. Thank you, Jesus.
Peter, I am rambling, but you have stirred something in me and it probably boils down to me being so passionate about the importance of remembering - and like you say - not glamourizing or glorifying war. But I think the world needs to remember veterans like my Dad, or May's Dad - the ones who couldn't speak and yes, the ones who did (and still do) deal with survivor guilt!
Great, great post. Thank you so much, Peter.
Good advice, Peter. When I worked at the Senior's Day Center, I asked a veteran if he'd come and speak to us. He said, "They wouldn't want to hear what I have to say." When I asked if he could tell me why, he said most people want veterans to say things that glorify war. He felt there was no glory in the things he saw and what he had to do. He was still trying to deal with the guilt he felt. Now that perhaps wasn't surviver's guilt, but it sure was guilt and regret. He was in his eighties and I felt sorry for him. We had quite a talk and I hope I helped him realize that what he had to say was important!
Well done, Peter.
Your poor dad, Glynis, reliving and reacting to what the caverns of memory cast up! In those moments those scenarios likely appear as a present, stark reality to him. Hmm, it's a toughie; as you query: Who are you to stop him "if he wants to" go to the parade. I trust that all works out alright. It's lovely that you have him, still. We never saw May's dad again from the time we farewelled and left for Canada. He died shortly before we got back for a visit three years later.
Ruth, I suspect that your interest and gentle sensitivity in your chat with that veteran would have been helpful and may have offered moments of comfort for him.
Thanks to you all - that's you too, Ed. Tomorrow morning (Friday Nov. 10) I've to lead a Remembrance focussed service in a retirement residence. A couple of the ladies were in munitions work during WWII. One is ninety-six. ~~+~~
Survivor's guilt is a subject that many struggle with, and it often transfers to areas other than war. Recently, I asked myself why I survived a condition that took the lives of two cousins, also girls. I believe who is spared will ignite the world and lead many to Him, as you have done, Peter. A beautiful post for this Remembrance season.
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