I didn’t recognize my lack of Holy Spirit awareness until the general evaluator at my speech making club pointed at that glaring reality. He showed me my sin the evening of the day I spent spinning wheels in my own strength.
Early that day I walked past my Bible fifty times rushing around cleaning up, checking email, writing down blog ideas, and running errands.
Several times I felt the nudge to pick up and read that Bible, but ignored it. Late in the afternoon—stemming from a miscommunication—my daughter and I had an out and out yelling fight.
That evening in the role of Sergeant at Arms at Steeltown Toastmasters, I held the honour of opening the meeting—setting the tone. Well, that evening I had nothing to say. I couldn’t think of a thing, except to smile and introduce the chairman.
Later in the meeting as I conducted the impromptu speeches, I still had nothing to say which meant dead air between speeches and while members voted for best speaker.
At the close of the evening, the general evaluator noted the change in me. He concluded his remarks with, “Hopefully next week we’ll have the real Marian back.”
My four hours flew by. We sold seven books and I made a number of new connections. The staff at the store presented me with a lovely thank-you card personally signed with a note from each.
How do I know the difference between my days had to do with the Holy Spirit rather than simply with my mood? Well, because I know I ignored the Spirit on my Toastmaster day. I didn’t pick up my Bible when He nudged me. I didn’t check my heart when I spoke with my daughter.
And, the next day on my book-signing day, early in the morning, before the alarm went off, when my spirit was quiet and at rest, He called me back, “Marian, where are you?” That’s when I stopped doing my stuff in my strength.
I’m so glad I’m God’s kid.
As Azariah said to King Asa, “…the Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you [become indifferent and] forsake Him, He will forsake you.” 11 Chronicles 15:2b Amplified