Making Choices--Carolyn R.Wilker

 

Going on holidays presents an array of choices once you get there, or even in the planning beforehand.  You can stay at a Bed and Breakfast or hotel or stay with friends nearby, if you’re fortunate enough to have that option.  Perhaps tenting or even a cottage.

Once you get to your destination, there are even more choices : what to do next. If it’s a relaxing vacation you’re looking for, you might take along a few good books to read, or sit and visit with others. Or perhaps you’re going swimming or playing tennis or hiking. And there are always the decisions of what to make for meals.

In case you’ve not already guessed, we’re on vacation. We’ve been pondering and planning for awhile on how to fill the time.  But maybe not all of it. Our family made plans too. It’s a much-desired and needed time away from  our regular work schedule.

            Today we attended the Lakefield Literary Festival with our grandchildren and our daughter  to see  children’s authors Ruth Ohi,  Aubrey Davis and Helaine Becker, which proved great entertainment for a Saturday July morning.

Back at the trailer, our daughter and son-in-law made plans to take us a boat ride across the lake to their favourite ice cream shop. But we learned, when the boat would not start, that the trip needs to wait a few hours until the boat battery gets recharged.

            We may make plans, but even those may not always work out. Some things are beyond our control, but can be resolved, and the boat ride is one of those. It can wait, but the blog post can be written while a  young one has a much needed nap. 

These choices, which involved planning and packing, now result in this time away to enjoy time with family and in the outdoors . Not all choices are that easy though. While the road seems smooth and the trip fun, there are times that our choices are much tougher and have a more lasting impact. As in Robert Frost’s famous poem, “The Road Not Taken,” where the poet ponders which road to take or leave for another day, there are many important ones to be made over our life’s journey, some of which may actually be harmful to you or others, and have eternal consequences. How we conduct ourselves at all times is important, how we live with and among others shows our values and morals.

So let us make those choices wisely, yes, even while on vacation. May your summer be safe, and enjoyable.

And that boat ride... was worth the wait, and the ice cream too.

www.carolynwilker.ca

 

Kicking & Screaming - Atchison

The other weekend, I was reading about upcoming events in the newspaper looking for things my husband and I could do. I read about a fundraiser at a local area church. The cause was against Human Trafficking, which I thought was a pretty good cause to support.

The fundraiser was a golf tournament. While I don’t golf, and the price was too steep for me to enter, I noticed that one member of the church's youth group was arranging a concert at 5:30 pm on the Saturday, with local area bands and the entry fee was $5.00 (although I knew one would be able to donate more at the door). I got really excited and suggested that we go to this concert.

My husband, Michael, looked at me skeptically and said, “Sure, I guess if you want to.”

We left it at that, but a little while later when I was making supper, Michael looked at me oddly. “You’re sure you really want to go to this youth concert?” he asked.

“Sure.” I replied, “Why not, it will be fun and it supports a good cause.”

He looked at me with a wry grin, “Think about it. The youth group is organizing it. There is a very small cover charge, and it starts at 5:30 pm.”

“Yeah. So,” I said.

“It’s a youth concert for the kids put on by the kids. Don’t you think we will look a little out of place?” Michael pointed out.

I laughed and agreed, I guess we would look like party crashers, especially as we are closer to the senior discount card than the fake ID card.

I knew we would be welcomed, but at the same time a part of me was sad, as I knew we wouldn’t fit in, especially without any kids to take to the event, as our child is grown and moved away from home.

Then I questioned: how is it I had suddenly reached the age that I am at? Is this what those joking cards mean when they say “Over the Hill”? I am still climbing the hill (however hard it may be), but not quite over it.

I think I am going to have to go kicking and screaming into the next decade of birthdays. You notice I haven’t said the ‘old’ word, but it is definitely zooming around in my head.

Cliché’s like “young at heart”, “looks great for her age”, “fifty (something) and fabulous”, are phrases that interrupt my thoughts frequently. I am not ready for this. The last time I felt a great difference in the age of people was when I was in my late thirties and noticed how far apart from me 25-year-old’s seemed. Now that age group seems really young – just babies – practically. How can they even be productive members of society? They don’t even know about life yet!

My friend commented one time that when women reach a certain age it is like we become invisible. I know my “Miss” definitely became a “Ma’am” years ago.

So where does that leave me. How do I age gracefully but still keep that youthful heart? How do I enjoy the benefits of exercise without taking that class intended for those youth in their twenties that can “give’er” and not get hurt?

Contemplating these thoughts and sharing them with Michael, he suggested, “Let it go. Why can’t you just age gracefully? Whatever happens happens.”

We decided to go to a movie that weekend. Although I was really interested in seeing a general audience 3D kid’s movie, we opted for the restricted one.

When getting ready for the movie, Michael asked what I was doing in the bathroom as I was taking so long.

“Nothing!” I yelled and quickly shoved the small mirror, razor, wax kit and tweezers into the drawer. You won’t be finding a hair on my “chiny-chin-chin”!

Patricia L. Atchison
Website: www.patriciaatchison.ca
Writing & Publishing Blog: www.aboutwritingandpublishing.com

The Gossamer Curtain Up Close - Smith Meyer

On our vacation this summer, within a week, we were three times confronted with the fragility of life. Most notably, a man who had become a friend over the years, came to take my husband out for the day. He had become one of the welcome components of our visits to Alberta. The two men had started out the lane, but then returned to do one more thing. Within fifteen minutes, our friend died. We quickly called 911. In less than twenty minutes, the ambulance, rescue vehicle, fire truck and three police cars descended at our son's property, but their valiant efforts were in vain.

Questions raced through our minds. What if he had died before he came to spend the day with my husband? He would have died alone, his wife away for the day. What if he had died while driving--if he hadn't come back for that one more thing? That held bigger implications. We were poignantly reminded again--that which divides life here and the life beyond is but a gossamer curtain.

The week before, a couple not far advanced in years to our own, never arrived at their destination on the west coast. Their travel van was found burned out, but they still haven't been found. Two days after the death of our friend, we were also on our way from Alberta to Vancouver. It seemed we had barely started when, at Golden, B.C., we were directed off the highway into parking lots for a two and a half hour wait. There had been a horrible accident up ahead. Two people lost their lives. The folks at the service station and Tim Horton's told us that the day before, in almost exactly the same place, three others had perished. Because of our close connection to one death already that week, we felt the present ones more keenly-they heightened our awareness of each moment of our days. The beauty we encountered driving through the mountains then, seemed even more breath-taking and exquisite; the time with family and friends in that week doubly precious.

Often unexpected experiences or a crisis will initiate changes in our lives. Just recently I realized that my life stages and significant learning times can often be connected to a book I read. Those readings often coincide with what is going on in my life as well.

In light of my summer, You COULD Live a Long Time: Are You Ready? by Lyndsay Green, a Canadian writer, came at the right time. Peter Mansbridge writes of the book, "We're not just living longer, but we're dying longer and that fact is the basis for Lyndsay Green's important new book. If you're betting you are going to be a part of the live-longer and live-better crowd, and let's be frank, we all want to be, then whether you're twenty, sixty or anywhere in between you better read this. It's full of advice, really good advice, that you'll be grateful you took when you hit those golden plus years."

I was barely into the book when I realized it was going to change my life. Aunt Jean's proactive ways and enthusiasm for life had me hooked in the introduction and kept me in her grasp right through to the end! Having worked with seniors (or elders as Green calls that age group) I have seen the difference between those who stay active and those who don't--physically, mentally and emotionally. I have seen the disparity in those who take charge of their own affairs as they age, planning ahead for the necessary changes, and those who fight the changes only to have their family step in to make decisions when they are obviously needed.

There's quite a wave of people on the verge of the elder years, getting closer to that gossamer curtain. We would be wise to make plans for ourselves and prepare not only our homes and finances, but our emotions, attitudes and relationship with God, so we can indeed live well in our dying years. (Read the book and that statement will excite you instead of making you feel gloom.) Good books help--and this is one!

www.ruthsmithmeyer

Engaged In Conversation - Atchison

My friend and I engaged in a conversation the other day. It centered on the activities we do and the benefits that we receive from them. The history to the conversation is that I have been struggling with a decision over the last several months. I was taking part in a rather physical sport when I became injured. This added to the stress my body was (and is) going through with other sports related injuries and it came to a culmination of the fact that perhaps I should be seeking alternate, safer activities.

The problem is, this sport provides access to a club and a group setting of friends and events that are rewarding and challenging. There is a great deal of prestige once one reaches a certain level of training, which provides the ego with a great boost. So to leave the people I’ve grown to love and the ‘prestige’ that comes with the training level I’ve achieved is quite a difficult decision.

I am also a volunteer at a local animal shelter, where I can be seen on Wednesdays feeding and caring for stray cats with my head buried inside cages, cleaning out eliminated waste and kitty boxes, washing their dishes and trays and preparing clean cages for them to be moved to the next day. It is hard, demanding work, but the rewards are so great that I love being there.

Getting back to the conversation I had with my friend…

She had recently visited her mother in a nursing home and sitting around the table was a scientist, a long-ago secretary to a high profile politician, and a couple of other well educated and successful members of society. While these seniors had their dinner, no one cared at that point what they had done in their lives, who they had been or who they knew. The accomplishments they had gained or the lives they had led were all but lost with their memories.

We pulled our conversation toward the fact that it may be more important that in the aspect of maintaining my health I continue with my work in helping animals, which provides quiet, non prestigious rewards to the animals in my care, and to the feelings I hold when I walk out of the shelter. This is an importance far greater than whether I should continue with a sport that has great prestige to many people depending on the high-ranking level of training achievement I receive, but could cause my body injurious grief and pain over the next several years if I continue.

In my life, it matters to me now that I can continue the work of taking care of animals in need. A far greater accomplishment than that of continuing a sport just to say, “Guess what I’ve got, that many people have never been able to do.”

I’m not sure if I’ve properly conveyed the message I meant to write about. I guess when it becomes my time to sit around a table with a handful of seniors in a nursing home, will it matter to any of them, and will they care or even know what I gave up so many years before.

But for now, with my health intact and the ability to care for one of God’s beautiful creatures, I’ll continue volunteering with my hands immersed in poohy water listening to the mewling of stray kitties looking for a home. When I reach old age, perhaps it will be these memories that will be the last to leave me, and I’ll cherish them with a light and happy heart.

As for the challenge of what to do after a decade of training and saying good-bye to the people in the sports club I’ve come to love and cherish, I’ll leave it in God’s hands to help me be strong and will listen to His voice as He directs me in the changes and future activities that come my way.

Sometimes the best conversations come from God, through the friends He gives us. I guess it is best to listen to the advice He shares.

Patricia L. Atchison
Website: www.patriciaatchison.ca
Writing & Publishing Blog: www.aboutwritingandpublishing.com