Anticipating a move from Canada to Scotland for three years, when you spent your youth at a Boarding School in India and your young adulthood in the unfamiliar home country of Canada could be quite an adventure. Complexities added to the mixture during those years in Canada include professional training for the ministry, meeting and marrying the love of your life and giving birth and raising three sons.
However the adventure quickly transforms into a nightmare when your husband is diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour and you must return home to Canada to keep vigil over him during his unexpectedly shortened last days on earth.
This was the experience of my friend, Gillian who with her husband, Gerald were enveloped in such a nightmare. Eventually when Gillian began to emerge from the mist, she was able to analyze the memories and discern how God’s sometimes barely perceptible presence in the periods of intense darkness evoked in her a deep longing to cling to what she knew of Him.
Gillian and Gerald had been married almost 16 years. Although Gerald had the normal health complaints we all have from time to time, he was otherwise was a strong, healthy man of 42. As the year of their scheduled return to Canada began, Gerald began suffering from frequent headaches.
When the headaches increased in intensity with little relief the couple became concerned but doctors believed the cause was a sinus infection. When his eyesight was affected and Gerald began seeing double, he was transported by ambulance to the hospital in Glasgow. An MRI showed a tumour that was identified as Glioblastoma - a fast growing brain cancer.
Gerald required several procedures as the family made preparations to rush back to Canada. The medical team in Glasgow connected with the London Ontario hospital so that Gerald could participate in an international clinical trial. The intention was hopefully to prolong his life by a year. They all returned to London, Canada in March. Following a fall on May 1st Gerald slipped into a coma, and he passed away on May 3, not even five months after the diagnosis.
Gillian felt like she could hardly breathe, as if someone punched her in the stomach and the wind was knocked out of her. She was haunted by painful memories of his final days, when she watched him deteriorate before her eyes. He grew constantly weaker and more confused, until the day before he passed away he slipped into a coma. On that day, Gillian accompanied him to another hospital to undergo a procedure so he could continue to receive the chemotherapy.
Remaining constantly at his side, she prayed for Gerald to have some relief from the constant pain and struggle. She had even mustered courage a few days earlier to whisper to him that she was ready to let him go, if he desired to go and enter presence of the Lord. She believed she was ready, but are we ever adequately prepared to confront the death of the one we love?
Gillian’s grieving began with regretting those words of release, as she longed for the physical presence of her husband, even if he was confused. Her loss impacted not only their life as a couple but also their shared ministry. They had enjoyed such a strong partnership in ministry that losing Gerald was like being deprived of a significant part of herself. Bereft of this, she was unaware of any gifts she could offer through her ministry.
Comfort unfolded unexpectedly for Gillian, as she and her sons became a stronger family unit. They all shared a loss most friends could not comprehend.
God’s grace touched her when He provided a new life partner - Dennis Brown. With him, she is developing that deep friendship that marriage gives as we move into our later years.
As she has walked this journey, falteringly at times, Gillian has found that God has been creating in her a solid and dependable faith anchored in Him. It served her well in her responsibilities for development of global ministry for The Salvation Army in Canada and Bermuda. In retirement it will supply courage to step out into new challenges.
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| Word Guild Award 2011 |
Eleanor served the Salvation Army in Canada and France. She engaged in Philanthropy with Health Partners International of Canada and Opportunity International Canada. Her passion is serving the whole person.
She contributed to My Father, Our Father a book of prayers published in the United Kingdom, and Journey with Friends a special collection of articles. Stories in Hot Apple Cider and Christmas with Hot Apple Cider received awards as well as her solo book More Questions than Answers. Christianity Today gave the book a four star rating. Various articles received recognition by The Word Guild and The Canadian Church Press.
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| Word Guild Award 2018 |
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| Word Guild Award 2009 |
4 comments:
Thank you, Eleanor, for sharing Gillian and her family's story of their life, so early interrupted by the death of her husband and father of her children. Praise God that they were brought through their distress, and for how He opened up a new direction in life and ministry to her with Dennis. Gerald and Gillian's time in Scotland also interested me, because of my many years spent there (including 15 years in Glasgow.) ~~+~~
Beauty and pain, they meet exquisitely in this story. Thanks for sharing, Eleanor.
moving story, Eleanor. Thank you.
Ed Hird
www.edhird.com
An inspiring story of God in the mountains and valleys.
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