A PARENT’S PAIN – THE INTERRUPTED LIFE XI by Eleanor Shepherd

            

The second story in The Interrupted Life series that I posted in this blog in March 2019, was about the interruption in the life of Stephen Pelley when his older sister and only sibling was killed in a car accident. Today, I want to share the story from the point of view of Stephen’s mother, Brynhild.

            I don’t think there is anything more difficult for a parent to contend with than the death of one of their children. This is what Stephen and Suzanne’s parents Brynhild and Melvin had to face. 

            Suzanne was 21 years old. The family had recently been transferred back to Montreal and the parents were engaged again in pastoral ministry, after spending several years working with people who relied upon the social service programs provided by The Salvation Army. 

            Both parents and children were in transition as Stephen had just completed High School and was taking a transition year to determine what he wanted to study and Suzanne had completed CEGEP (Junior College) and was preparing to enter university to study voice. As I mentioned in Stephen’s story, it was music that bonded the siblings together. 

            Brynhild described herself as a person of faith at the time of the accident, as a result of having a father who was trustworthy and cared for his family. This made it relatively easy for her to give her life to Christ at age eight and subsequently grow in her faith. The example of her father made it easy to trust God as her Heavenly Father. As she grew, she senses a calling to ministry and felt led to pursue a romantic relationship that led her to Canada, where she and her husband were living out their calling. 

            The summer that the family returned to Montreal, Suzanne decided to attend a National Music

Camp offered by The Salvation Army in Ontario. It was there that she reconnected with someone she met at a Brownie camp when she was seven. They decided to go to Calgary together that fall and find work so they could attend university the following year. It was Suzanne’s first experience living apart from the family and she was really home-sick, calling her family several times a week during the month of September.

            On the evening of October 13, before climbing into bed, Brynhild knelt by her bed and in prayer offered her children to God asking for His care and protection for them. When she heard Stephen come in a little while later, she went off to sleep. About four o’clock in the morning, the jarring ring of the ringing of the telephone woke the family. Brynhild’s husband Melvin reached it first. It was the police in Calgary informing the parents that there had been a motor vehicle accident involving their daughter and she did not survive it. 

            Brynhild remembers indescribable feelings that seemed to be a strange mixture of pain, numbness and unbelief. She said to herself, “A few hours ago, I felt so safe as I committed my children to the Lord, and then He took my daughter away!” It did not make any sense to her. Her pain was too deep for tears, yet she was confident that her child was now in the presence of God. 

            She felt this affirmed when a few days later she received a letter from Suzanne’s landlady. The woman told how the evening before the accident, they had been discussing something in the Bible and Suzanne had taken the time to bring down her Bible and help them understand more clearly what they were talking about. 

            It seemed that the full impact of her loss hit Brynhild the following spring. She had always loved the springtime with new life arising in nature, the warmth of the springtime breezes and the bright colours as the flowers and trees began to blossom. That year everything lost its allure. The spring scenes held no beauty for her. She felt like her heart had gone and in it’s place remained a painful void. Yet in spite of her desolation, she sensed that somehow the presence of the Spirit of God was with it. That was all that kept her going about her daily tasks. 

            His parents found that their remaining child, their son Stephen who was 18 at the time was a great comfort to them. Two of Brynhild’s sisters from Norway came to be with the family for two weeks and supported them through the finality of the funeral. Some of Melvin’s family from Newfoundland also came to offer their sustenance to the grieving family.

            Through this dark time, Brynhild became more dependent on the Lord than she had ever been. Though the pain at times made it more difficult for her to open herself to the pain of others, she knew that she could still point them to the One who would help them bear their pain. She slowly came to understand that although God’s plans may not be the same as the ones she might have, she can still trust His promise to be there for her and that has helped her to remain faithful.   

Word Guild Award
2011

Word Guild Award
2009

Word Guild Award
2018

Eleanor Shepherd from Pointe Claire, Quebec has more than 100 articles published in Canada, France, the U.S.A., Belgium, Switzerland and New Zealand. Thirty years with The Salvation Army in Canada and France including ministry in Africa, Europe, Haiti and the Caribbean furnished material for her Award winning book, More Questions than Answers, Sharing Faith by Listening as well as her Award winning stories in Hot Apple Cider and Christmas with Hot Apple Cider. She co-authored with her husband Glen the Bible Study book Why? Families. As well as writing, she conducts workshops on listening skills and prayer. Eleanor recently retired from being the pastor of an English speaking congregation in Montreal with The Salvaton Army. She is currently pursuing studies to become a Prayer Companion.