Distracted Parenting by Carol Ford

Are we spending too much time on our Smartphone’s?

I was one of the last people to buy a smart phone and it immediately had a hold on me. The possibility of having internet on demand was a new and exciting experience.

The majority of adults, teens and children have a Smartphone in the palm of their hand wherever they go. It doesn’t appear to be only people under the age of thirty five—the age category is more diverse than that. They look at the screen while driving their cars, walking their dogs, eating in restaurants and throughout their homes. Surveys indicate that there is no more than five feet between an individual and their device. [i] Apparently much of what goes on a mobile phone is built to be addictive and one in eight of us will fall prey to its spell. [ii] Hmm, they, whoever they are, know what they are doing.

How would a Smartphone have affected my parenting if I had one in the 1980’s? Most of today’s parents, like me, enjoy texting or looking at their smartphones as often as possible. I see them with their heads bent over their screen while their children are playing in the park, when they are eating out or attending a child’s sporting event. Physically they are with their children, but mentally they seem distracted. They may even be viewing someone else’s child doing a cute stunt on You Tube. When this is happening, their own children tend to act out or misbehave to try and regain their parent’s attention, but then everything seems to deteriorate into an unpleasant scene.

I wanted to know how widespread the problem was and started researching the topic. It was a surprise to me that most articles I found dealt with parents trying to limit and control the amount of time their children spend on electronic devices. There was very little focus on controlling the parent’s excessive use of technology. 

If our children have a problem, would it not follow that we are their examples? There are laws and fines for distracted driving, but what about distracted parenting—or grandparenting?

Jesus always made children a priority “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” (Matthew 19:14 NLT)

When I asked a mother of two about writing on this topic, she replied, “I’ve read articles on the topic that mostly make us feel like terrible people, but if you could find a way to equip us with tips or ideas on how to help break these bad habits when we are with our kids, and leave us encouraged, I think you’ll have written something really valuable.”

So with her and others in mind, I am listing a few practical ideas to help control smartphone usage (btw, I took some of these ideas for breaking a bad habit from the internet):

·         Pray for guidance. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)

·         Recognize it as a problem and don’t deny or minimize the impact it may be having on your family. Talk to them about it.

·         Notice the time of day, locations, or situations where you are most tempted to indulge in this activity. Set goals for when you can use the phone and make a commitment to turn it off at the same time each night.

·         Analyze why being socially connected is so enjoyable. It may be a symptom of deeper needs, such as boredom or loneliness.

·          Eliminate Apps, emails, and friends or groups who blog or post constantly.

·         Plan family activities such as board games, biking, library visits or writing a play and create good family memories—no phones allowed during these times.

·         Ask your children to help you be accountable—turn it into a fun reward for good behaviour.

Mobile technology offers us some benefits— safety, convenience, connection to old and new friends and colleagues, immediate information when we need it and much more. Giving up our phones isn’t an option, but setting boundaries can be. As a Christian this war can be won by “Put(ing) on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11 NLT)

The Serenity prayer seems like a good way to close, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.”

---

[i]  http://www.addictiontips.net/phone-addiction/phone-addiction-facts/

[ii] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2977879/https://carolfordassociates.wordpress.com/One-eight-people-addicted-smartphone-use-worse-gets-study-claims.html

Carol Ford - Author in Christmas with Hot Apple Cider 

https://carolfordassociates.wordpress.com/

A "Very Good" World-by Heidi McLaughlin

 “OK my darlings – what’s it going to be,” I challenged, “shall we take the cable car or lace up our hiking boots?” Eyebrows went up and down as we stood in a circle staring at each other.  My husband Jack, my daughter Michelle, my son-in-law Tim, and my son Donovan were standing at the base of Mount Wengen, one of the most picturesque mountains in Switzerland. While this adventure had been researched for over a year, we didn’t expect this commanding, green giant to be so intimidating. Finally Michelle broke the silence, “You know what, I don’t think I feel up to the hike. Tim and I will take the cable car and meet you at the top.”  A decision was made. Tim and Michelle off to the train station while Jack, Donovan and I (Heidi) bent down to lace up their hiking boots.

The first half hour of our excursion revealed a backdrop of lush alpine meadows awash with a carpet of flowers that turned into beautiful panorama of rugged, majestic mountains.  Our conversation consisted of superlatives trying to fathom and express the vastness and magnificence of God’s creation.  Every hundred feet or so, we stopped to wipe the sweat from our faces and share another rich discovery.

“Over there-see Staubach Falls cascading down the side of the mountain like a twirling corkscrew.”

It was magical! As we climbed higher and higher up the mountainside trail we saw the world from a different perspective. It all seemed clearer, slower, and calmer. 

Worries, deadlines and expectations evaporated.

By the time we saw the sign WENGEN VILLAGE our clothes were soaked with a salty, grimy perspiration. But we were elated, and deliciously exhausted.  Trying to squeeze one last drop out of our water bottles, we high fived and headed into the village, back to reality.

 We found Tim and Michelle in a colourful friendly café leisurely sipping away on a rich, Swiss coffee. “Hey, how was your cogwheel railway climb?” We asked. “Fine”, they both echoed.”  Now they wanted to know, “How was your trek up the mountain?” “It was very good,” was all I could muster up, “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” 

How do you explain a glimpse of heaven-a visit into an idyllic time warp that would lose its magic if we tried to put it into human words?

In the book of Genesis when God finished creating our magnificent world He said. “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31 NIV).

“Very Good?”

 My hike up Mount Wengen allowed me to capture a tiny, fleeting glimpse behind God’s words of “very good.” If God says that our creation is only very good, I can’t begin to comprehend what heaven will be like.

I’m glad I chose the long, hard hiking trail. How many times have I missed God best for my life simply because I was not willing to bend over and lace up my hiking boots?  God’s wants us to experience all of His “very good” in our lives. Why not stop today and take a moment to thank Him for creating something that is so very good. 

Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. Heidi has been widowed twice. She is a mom and step mom of a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 12 grandchildren. When Heidi is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book, or golf and laugh with her family and special friends.

Her latest book RESTLESS FOR MORE: Fulfillment in Unexpected Places (Including a FREE downloadable Study Guide) is now available at Amazon.ca; Amazon.com, Goodreads.com or her website: www.heartconnection.ca

Thankfulness Checklist by Steph Beth Nickel

We've been encouraged in recent years to keep a gratitude journal. Ann Voskamp encourages readers to make a list of 1,000 things they're thankful for. (Not to worry; this list will be much shorter than that.)

As writers, our list will include items most others wouldn't even think to add. Below are five of the things I'm thankful for and examples of each.

Total Strangers

When someone you've never met connects with you and tells you they appreciate your programs on HopeStreamRadio, it's humbling and encouraging.

Total strangers don't stay strangers long when you connect over a common pursuit such as writing. I met Ron Hughes at Write Canada a number of years ago. So when he called to see if I knew anyone who would be interested in joining the HopeStreamRadio team, I was eager to get on board.

Online Communities

Yes, there are downsides to the Internet. We can spend hours commenting on status updates, tweeting, and pinning that would be better spent writing, reading, or doing housework. We can dive down one rabbit hole after the next after the next.

On the other hand, we can connect with amazing people we're never likely to meet in person who will encourage, challenge, and enlighten us. Such is the case with communities such as the Create If Writing group on Facebook. I've linked to the public group, but there are several advantages to joining the paid community as well. 

And I have to tell you the online communities that I've connected with are made up of some of the most generous people you'll ever meet.

Podcasts

I could list podcast after podcast after podcast where I like to hang out. While I enjoy reading, I've found that a familiar voice soon becomes a trusted voice, especially when the information they're sharing is practical and up-to-date.

Among the podcasts I follow are Kirsten Oliphant's Create If Writing, Joanna Penn's The Creative Penn, and Tara Hunt's Truly Social.

Challenges

I have joined the thousands of other writers who are participating in National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. I'm on track to hit the 25K mark today. The challenge, if you're not familiar with it, is to write 50K words in the month of November. Obviously, the idea is to write the first draft of a novel. However, there are those who use the energy and camaraderie to write short stories, academic papers, etc. I love it and am learning a lot. As was said, there are no NaNo police.

Lifetime Access

If any of you have attended a free online summit, you'll know the allure of purchasing lifetime access. You can listen to the interviews whenever you want to, whenever you have the time. You have the luxury of going back and listening over and over to those you found particularly helpful.

I have purchased lifetime access to many summits and have signed up for the paid courses after watching brief series of free lessons on writing and writing-related topics.

These are all well and good, but I have to go back and start digging into the wealth of material I have access to. It does me know good tucked away in cyber space.

What's on your Thankfulness Checklist? 

Writers Hearing from God? by David Kitz

Recently, I have been giving a lot of thought to hearing from God. As Christian writers do we hear from God? Does He whisper in your ear and tell you what to write? Is the Holy Spirit our "Christian muse" who prompts us when we sit down to compose an article or story? Where does our inspiration come from?

This sentence from the Psalms has captured my imagination: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you (Psalm 32:8).

This is the LORD's promise for His people. It's a promise you can hang your hat on. If you have your ears open to hear the LORD, you can be sure that He will speak into your life to provide guidance. And remember, our God is a God of infinite variety. He can speak to us in numerous ways. Listed below are some of them.

            God can speak to you, and He can direct you—

            – through the Holy Scriptures

            – through the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit

            – through his anointed servant leaders

            – through events and circumstances

            – through open doors and closed doors

            – through dreams and visions

            – and through prophetic words.

            – He can even speak to you through the words of the ungodly.

And please bear in mind that this is only intended as an illustrative list, not an exhaustive list. If you have come to Christ, the Good Shepherd, you can rest assured that He will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I believe that includes when you sit down to write using your computer or tablet. 

Let's not make the mistake of thinking that if God is guiding our writing we are somehow infallible or inerrant. The truth is human vessels make mistakes. I still need spell-check and an editor even if God is providing some inspiration. 

We can over spiritualize the writing experience, but there is also a danger that we deny God's involvement in it. The LORD is well able to direct our thoughts as we write. When we invite Him into the writing process with our spiritual ears open to His prompting, wonderful things–truly unexpected things can happen. 

May those wonderful things–those Holy Spirit prompted thoughts happen to you.

Some of the thoughts for today's post were drawn from Psalms Alive! Connecting Heaven and Earth.

David Kitz lives in Ottawa with his wife Karen. His most recent book is published by Kregel and entitled The Soldier Who Killed a King 

Friendship by Ruth Smith Meyer

My grandfather wrote in my autograph book, 

“Make new friends, keep the old, one is silver, the other gold.” 

Of all the autograph verses I collected, I think that is the one I most often remember.

In the past three months, I have been reminded once more of that little saying.  Those weeks have given my many opportunities to visit and spend time with friends, old and new. 

One friend who has been through a difficult year is home after a ten-month hospital stay recuperating from Gille Barre syndrome.  She still can’t be left alone, so I am staying with her one morning a week until her PSW worker comes so her husband can go to work. Those times have been rich in friend-fellowship.

Several times a year, three of us who worked together in the ‘90s get together for lunch.  It’s always a fun time with lots of laughter and memories. That happened again in October.  As usual, I came home with my heart lifted.

There have been several days spent with writer friends as we promoted our books at signings and sales events.  Much more than sales happen there—a lot of sharing and support comes in those moments and hours.

Several times in the past three months, I’ve shared breakfast with new friends, getting to know them better and finding ways we can enjoy each other.

Twice I met with former friends and colleagues at meetings.  In such cases there’s never time enough to do more than whet the appetite for spending more quality time with those you see after extended absence from one another.

Probably the most memorable friendship renewing time happened in October when three of us got together for lunch and a wonderful afternoon.  As teenagers, we had formed a trio and sang together in various places.  Although I have seen both of them since, the three of us haven’t been together in one place for probably almost 60 years. 

One would think after such a long time, it would have been hard to know what to talk about.  But that’s the surprising thing about old friends—you seem to be able to start again where you left off.  Oh we did a lot of catching up, but there was something so solid and comfortable about being together again.  My heart sang most of the way home.

H. Jackson Brown Jr. said we should remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends, but I think I will go with Thomas Aquinas who said, 

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized that true friendship.” 

Or as Oliver Wendall Holmes put it, 

“There is no friend like an old friend who has shared our morning days, no greeting like his welcome, no homage like his praise.”

I wished I could find pictures of all those friends, but I couldn’t.  I couldn’t even find one photograph of the three of us together.  But there are many in my mind and in my heart, and that’s what matters most.

      “True friends are always together in spirit.”  

                                                                                      

                                                                                      (Anne Shirley)   L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Ruth Smith Meyer enjoys life in Ailsa Craig, Ontario. She feels very honoured to have been part of the writing of  three books this past year.  "Good Grief People,"   "Christmas with Hot Apple Cider" and "Christmas Stories and More."