Joining the Civility Revolution

 

By Rev. Dr. Ed & Janice Hird

-an article for the Light Magazine

Canadians used to be known for how polite and kind we were. We were famous for saying sorry, and putting others first.  Have you noticed that many of us seem to becoming a lot ruder and insensitive? The COVID lockdowns didn’t help. It often brought out the worst in people and forced many into lonely isolation.  What can we do about the anger and nastiness that seems to be sweeping much of Canada?

There’s good news. Alexandra Hudson and her mom Judi Vankevich have launched a civility revolution, to bring back civility and kindness to our public and private lives.  We recently attended The Soul of Civility book launch for Western Canada where Alexandra and Judi cast their vision for how goodness and decency can be brought back into the very fabric of how we do life together. 

Alexandra came home to BC from her new home in Indiana. This was part of her 35-city book tour – from Canadian Parliament to speaking at the Alabama Supreme Court – promoting the conversation around the need for civility.  Lexi, as she is known by her friends, attended TWU, followed by her Masters’ Degree at London School of Economics on a Rotary scholarship.

Judi is internationally known as Judi The Manners Lady. She is an award-winning singer, family entertainer, educator, and author.  Her book and videos help the often forgotten Ten Commandments come alive for children.  Her CD, “It’s Fun to Have Good Manners!” won Best Children’s Album of the Year for the Covenant Awards. Judi’s new children’s book, The Bad Manners Monsters and The Kindness Keys, is an allegory to help children (of all ages) “take every thought captive.”

Judi first launched the non-profit Civility Project in 2003.  Langley, Abbotsford, and Vancouver were the first communities in Canada to celebrate National Manners and Character Day and now they are planning on launching the Civility Movement across Canada and the US.

Alexandra said that her parents, Judi and Ned, a TWU Professor, are wonderfully intellectually curious.  They gave to Alexandra their love for the great Russian Christian philosophers like Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Solzhenitsyn.  Her upcoming book is on autodidactic learning, which is self-taught and ongoing. She wants Christians to more intentionally reclaim their robust intellectual and historical heritage.

A city councilor from Carmel, Indiana invited Alexandra to launch their community-wide, multi-event civility conversation with the theme, “We Can Do Better.”  Alexandra shared how we can recover civil community through learning to ‘porch’ together. By this, she means not just relying on impersonal social media, but actually hanging out together in person on each other’s porch, front lawns, coffee shops, or similar shared spaces.  The civility revolution can start in very small ways.  Our internet algorithms encourage us to hide from others in our self-absorbed silos, never deeply listening to those who might think differently than us.  Our highly divided culture often encourages us to fear those who hold different view on specific issues.  Alexandra encourages us to rediscover the humanity of every person who are all made in God’s image. So, all people are of deep inherent worth and dignity.  Civility is not yelling at the other person to make your point, but stopping to think and then conversing quietly and gently with them.

As a dual citizen, Alexandra has been active in politics in both Ottawa and Washington, DC. Sometimes she met aggressive, impolite people in the public realm.  What concerned her more though was outwardly polite people who were just as ruthless, first using and then discarding others.  This is why she prefers the concept of civility, because it speaks of genuine character.  Civility is not about pretending to just fit in, but rather graciously listening and then speaking your truth in difficult situations.  She observed that as family, faith, and friendships have fragmented, politics is inappropriately filling the vacuum. The political culture wars are endless.  People never get a break from politics, which Alexandra says, ends up harming our souls and family life.  Politics, which is a good thing, has become for many an idol, the ultimate source of meaning and purpose. What if we spent more time with our family, friends and colleagues celebrating the sublime beauty of God’s creation?  Wouldn’t that be revolutionary in our deeply conflicted culture?

We thank God for this mother-daughter Christian team who have not given up on kindness and civility. Rev. Dr. Ed & Janice Hird

FORGIVENESS - by Eleanor Shepherd

I have been reading again Philip Yancey’s classic, What’s so Amazing about Grace? My own thoughts about forgiveness have been challenged again through my rereading of the book. His chapter on forgiveness caused me to do some serious reflection, particularly concerning the state of our world today.

          I wonder if the current confused and tense atmosphere that seems to colour so many domains of life, is the consequence of a key event that has destabilized so many people, particularly in North America and the Middle East. I am thinking about what is now referred to as Nine Eleven. It happened on September 11, 2001, the day that the Twin Towers in New York and the Pentagon were hit by aircraft that caused the tragic deaths of many people and evoked an aggressive response of vengeance from the American government.

          When faced with this kind of injustice, it is normal to want to fight back and see that justice is done, but I wonder if in the long term a different response might have been more effective, and the world might be less fractured and fragile today and could have been better equipped to deal with a global pandemic.

When immediately following Nine Eleven, I heard the frantic calls for arming to combat the Enemy who was responsible for this tragedy, I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was not the best way to move forward. Yet, I heard nobody objecting to the hue and cry for vengeance, so I thought that I must be the one who was totally out of step with reality. Maybe that is the case. Nevertheless, I feel that I must express what I think would have a much more reasonable way to handle the situation and might have in the final analysis produced some positive results.

          Just image with me for a moment what would have happened if the President of the United States had made some comments like this:  “Today, we acknowledge the terrible things that have been done and the needless suffering and sorrow that has resulted from these horrible actions. We grieve and lament with those who are the victims of such violence. Nevertheless, we consider ourselves a Christian nation and for that reason, how we respond is not with a flexing our military power and bringing out our strongest weapons to retaliate and see that justice is done.”

“We follow One who was willing to Himself bear all injustice and evil, all that we call sin, so that we could enter into a relationship with our loving Heavenly Father, whose greatest desire is for all of us to know His love and forgiveness. Because we receive forgiven for the wrongs that we have done, we are choosing to forgive you for the wrongs that you have done to us. Our desire is for you to discover the Way of Love, the Way that we have chosen to follow as we follow Jesus Christ. That is what it means for us to be Christian.”

          “We believe that it is not our place to see that vengeance is meted out to those who have done wrong. Our God tells us that He will see that justice is done and that if vengeance is needed, He will see that it takes place according to His perfect plans.”

Such speaking would reflect an attitude of trust in God, not a trust in our own wisdom and power. That is why a cross and not a sword is the symbol of our faith.

          While this example is perhaps the most obvious, in whatever country we live today, we are seeing a turning to violence and hatred to deal with whatever we feel is unjust. To my mind these attitudes are an affront to and a denial of our Christian faith. I suspect that Jesus weeps with us as He sees the way that we treat one another. Echoing in our hearts and minds come His concluding words to His followers, according to John, who knew Him well. “The world will know that you are Mine by the love to show to one another.” Love is willing to pay the price of forgiveness.