By Rev. Dr. Ed Hird
Prime Minister
Lester Pearson’s wife Maryon once famously quipped “Behind every successful man
is a surprised woman.”[1] Billy Graham, aged 98, was recently named for
the 60th consecutive year in a Gallup poll as one of the ten most
admired people in the world, along with Bernie Sanders, Pope Francis, and Bill
Gates. It was Ruth Graham his devoted
wife for sixty-three years who enabled Billy Graham to be healthy in the midst
of relentless international attention.
Without Ruth’s loving care for their five children, it would have been
impossible for Billy Graham to have taken part in 417 city-wide celebrations in
185 countries, speaking to live audiences of nearly 215 million people. Billy and Ruth Graham were a Valentine’s love
story that we can all learn from.
Ruth, who lived her
first seventeen years in China, never wanted to marry, intending instead to
become a missionary in Tibet. After
going to school in North Korea, she moved to Wheaton College in Illinois. There in 1940, she met her future husband
Billy who instantly fell in love with her.
Ruth was slightly startled by his intense blue eyes. As her biographer Patricia Cornwell put it, “Billy
was unlike anyone Ruth had met....earnest, quietly confident, and personal.
Clearly he spoke as one who knew God and knew him well...But what interested
Ruth was that as Billy escorted her...,he seemed completely unaware of his
uniqueness, his poignancy, his gift.”[2] Billy
was very nervous around Ruth, but eventually invited Ruth to hear Handel’s
Messiah with him. That night Ruth knelt
on the carpet by her bed and prayed, 'God, if You let me serve with that man,
I'd consider it the greatest privilege in my life.' Ruth wrote to her medical missionary parents
in China, saying: "Despite Bill's fearlessness and sometimes sternness, he
is just as thoughtful and gentle as you want a man to be...he makes you feel
perfectly natural and looked after without being showy or obnoxious. Sounds
like I'm in love, doesn't it? Don't get worried. I'm not."[3] Both Billy and Ruth were independent and very
determined people which led to some early challenges in their
relationship. It was normal in Ruth’s
family for women to be strong and outspoken, something that Billy had to get
used to. In writing to her parents in
1941, she said: “(Billy) isn’t easy to love because of his sternness and
unwavering stand on certain issues. Many
a night I have come in almost hating the man because I wanted my way in some
little thing that was either unwise or foolish or something, and he wouldn't
give in even if it meant losing my love...”
Sometimes Billy and Ruth could be the immovable object and the
irresistible force. Writing to her
parents later in 1941, she said: "(Billy) has his faults and some people
object to his fearless, uncompromising presentation of the gospel. But that was
the first thing about him that commanded my attention and later my admiration
--as I grew to know him better, my trust."
After accepting his
marriage proposal, she visited her sister Rosa in a New Mexico TB
Sanitarium. While there suffering from
exhaustion, she wrote Billy a crushing letter, telling him that she didn’t
think that she was in love with him and that marriage was perhaps unwise.[4] Her
sister miraculously recovered, and Ruth went ahead with the wedding. Cornwell commented: “What Ruth would do next,
no one could predict, for she was as quietly stubborn as the sphinx and just
about as inscrutable...She didn't necessarily do the practical or the expected.”[5]
One of the greatest
challenges to their marriage was how much Billy was away. Ruth often said:
"I would rather have a little of Bill than a lot of any other man." Many of Billy Graham’s sermon illustrations came
directly from Ruth’s voracious reading of biographies, histories, novels, books
about art and foreign countries. It was Ruth’s deep faith in God that kept her
going through many trying times. One
time after Billy unexpectedly went with his buddies to Chicago without Ruth,
she tearfully prayed: "God, if you forgive me for marrying him, I'll never
do it again." When he realized how much he hurt her, he was full of tender
apologies. Ruth often said: " Sometimes beautiful women develop from
adjusting to difficult men." By all accounts, Ruth was a beautiful woman
in body, mind and spirit. Her medical missionary dad, her evangelist husband
Billy and her beloved prodigal son Franklin all helped her become more
beautiful.
In 1963, Billy wrote
to Ruth: "How can I find words to express my appreciation for all you have
meant to me. Your love and patience with me in my ups and downs...have meant
more to me than you will ever know. Your counsel, advice, encouragement, and
prayer have been my mainstay....It seems in the recent months my capacity to
love you has deepened...I love the wife of my youth more every day!...Yes, I am
thankful to God for you...No child ever had a greater mother than our children.”[6]
Rev Dr. Ed Hird,
Rector
-an article for the Feb 2017 Light Magazine
-author of Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit
3 comments:
I love it! Thanks Ed. This is a wonderful window on the Grahams' romance and relationship. But maybe you offer more . . . more like an X-Ray into their personalities and their hearts.
A dear 85 year-old friend of mine, who is a long-term admirer and prayerful supporter of Billy G., has a sermon featuring Billy's tremendous life of integrity and faithfulness all ready to be preached, when he is called home to be with the Lord. Of course, that will be if my friend is himself still this side of glory at such a time. ~~+~~
What a beautiful story. Inspirational.
I loved hearing about Ruth and Billy Graham, and just how real Billy became as Ruth described their relationship. He was not the perfect man that we sometimes think, but human like the rest of us. However, I still have the greatest respect for him and his obedience to God's call on his life. I have read Ruth's other books as well. She was quite a character, creative and a good writer too. Thank you for sharing this - I had to come back and read it again!
Pam Mytroen
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