Friday, August 8, 2008
Sharp as a Serpent's Tongue - Harris
I've been trying to cheer myself up, to write a cheerful post. Sorry I can't do it.
It's been hours and my eyes are still smarting. This morning, someone I care about told me I'm wasting my time. That I'm not going to get a book contract. That I won't be successful in my grant proposal. And that being successful 'isn't in the cards', for me. This person was trying to be 'helpful' and prevent me from being disappointed from what they perceived was the inevitable -- failure.
Funny thing, I'm proud of my work. My portfolio is jammed full of published articles. I've written blogs, books and book chapers. I'm starting a new national project next week. And I'm meeting with my local editors about fall projects in the morning.
But, still, in the eyes of my friends and neighbours, I'm just playing. Living a delusion. And need to be set right. "It just aint gonna happen, lady. Can't you see that? Try something else before it's too late."
The thing is I can't see it. I think they are dead wrong. And what they call success, I call drudgery. What they call growing up, I call giving up. What they call delusion, I call dreams.
And most important, writing is what I'm called to do.
So, in the morning, I will be at my computer. Trusting God to give me the words, just as I trust him now to dry up these tears.
As I write, I will try to remember that words have the power to destroy. And the power to give life.
"Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify one another," Romans 14:19
Jane Harris Zsovan writes in both mainstream in Canadian publications about faith, business, arts, and contemporary Canada. She is the author of Stars Appearing: The Galts' Vision of Canada
She contributed "Jessie's Generation: Canada's Firebrands of Mercy and Justice" to Hot Apple Cider: Stories to Warm the Heart and Stir the Soul
She writes Vision of Canada Blog, on contemporary and historical Canada.